#but I genuinely say my bed staring at the wall and wondering how I could possibly arrange that

[so-sick-of-17]

I saw a post on reels that was seriously comparing a six week old fetus not being to survive outside the womb to an astronaut not being able to survive space without a suit. I sat there for over five minutes stunned by the complete stupidity.

[inazumass]

Animal Attraction - Laios x Beastman!Reader

No beta read this time, but I might add other chapters of this for f/m/ftm reader in the future on AO3 if there's enough interest for it. I try to make my smut as inclusive as possible but sometimes it takes away from the descriptors, y'know? Let me know what you think! https://archiveofourown.org/works/56591389

TAGS/Warnings: NSFW, Smut with Plot, Gender Neutral Reader, No Use of Y/N, Mild Themes of Forced Proximity/One Bed Trope (Kinda), Huddle For Warmth, Penetration, Gender Neutral Anatomy, Second Person Perspective/Freeform, Beastman/Beastkin Reader/Doglike Reader, Comfort, No Pet Names, Enthusiastic Consent, No use of protection don't be like Chilchuck, y'all

Word Count: 11.9k

As always, Minors DNI

Shadows stretched long across the wooden floor of the old bedroom where Laios sat in his bed for the night. This floor was quiet now but if anyone paused to listen they would be able to hear all the creatures off in the distance as they stalked their way through the dungeon. Their various calls and cries echoed off the far away walls of the vast cavern surrounding the ruins. 

It was cool here now, the crisp night air swirling through the alleyways and rustling the curtains. If it weren’t for the view out the window of the ruined structures littering the cave the old town was situated in, it might have been easy for anyone to convince themselves that they were in any regular old inn on the surface. 

There were few usable rooms left in the building now though, and the party had to make do with the last three decent rooms on the third floor. Not that anyone seemed to mind much… hell, most were grateful for a proper bed to sleep on for the first time in days. 

Down the hall Laios could hear the sounds of his party mates getting settled in for the night, their muffled speech unintelligible through the thick stone walls. He had settled into his bed, unfurling his bedroll over the old linen sheets as he stole glances at the newest member of their ragtag group.

He tried hard not to stare, but his gaze kept flickering up to the soft ears perched atop your head.

By now he’d known well enough not to question Izutsumi on her state after much scolding from the others and the sharp sting of her claws whenever she would get fed up with his pestering. Yet you were so vastly different in comparison to the sharper features of the party’s youngest member; your sharper more wolf-like features juxtaposed with the softer body of a human, the perfect fusion of man and beast. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like… he’d always fantasised, albeit not so secretly about what it might be like to have more animalistic features, were you more monster or more human? His thoughts were cut off quickly when your eyes flicked over to him, feeling his eyes on your back. Your ears flicked in mild annoyance, not exactly fond of the intrusive gaze.

“What are you staring at?” You sighed, all too used to the way people would size you up. The questions, the fear, the judgement.

“Your ears look so soft.” The blond smiled sheepishly as the words slipped out of his mouth without much thought. 

The sincerity of his gaze caught you by surprise, unsure how to respond as you stared back at him. You blinked slowly, momentarily thrown off by his unexpected offhand comment. He seemed genuine, his eyes holding a warmth that contrasted sharply with the usual wariness you encountered from other tallmen. After a beat of silence, you couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"They're just ears," You replied, your tone light but tinged with a hint of amusement as your ears perked back up, "But thanks, I guess?"

He chuckled softly in return, a sheepish grin still playing on his lips. "Sorry, that was probably a weird thing to say, huh?" Laios asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he looked down at his lap.

"It's... different," you admitted, offering him a nonchalant shrug. "But different can be nice.” You said finally, earning another smile from the tallman.

His sheepish grin widened into a relieved smile at your response, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he let out a quiet sigh. "I'm glad you think so," Laios replied, amber eyes still avoiding your gaze. He knew if he looked back up he wouldn’t be able to resist staring a little longer. "I didn't mean to make things awkward."

You shook your head, offering him a reassuring smile of your own. "No need to worry about it. It's refreshing, honestly." You replied, sitting back against the old wooden headboard. Perhaps you had been wary of him for no reason, though you hadn’t fully dropped your defences around the group despite your curiosity about the knight. They had all been gracious enough to take you in when you were too injured to carry on alone.

You were certain if they hadn’t wandered by when they did you would have been doomed on your own. Now, you thought, you would be forever indebted to them for their kindness. That being said, you couldn’t help but feel out of place regardless of their continued kindness.

 “I’m sorry... I guess I was just expecting you to say something else.” You admitted. A sigh pushed past your lips as you hugged your knees, uneasy at even the smallest bit of vulnerability you’d shown him with your vague explanation.

Though he wasn’t the best at reading the emotions of others, he could see the way you curled in on yourself as if protecting something, your ears drooping against your head. It reminded him of the strays he would see back home, wounded, exposed…

His voice was gentle as he spoke, his gaze lifting to look you in the eyes as he searched for the right words. “I’ve heard stories of beastmen before… but you and Izutsumi are way cooler than any of them.” Laios affirmed, earning a little snort of laughter from you. “Seriously! Half tallman and half wolf, that’s… incredible!” He exclaimed.

You wanted to disagree, but something about the way his eyes lit up when he spoke had you believing it too. After all, no ordinary tallman could do what you could. Even so, you found yourself shifting in discomfort under his gaze. You had always been acutely aware of the implications of your existence, created from black magic… an abomination, a monster. 

Even now that you’d finally met someone like you, someone who couldn’t shift the way others in similar circumstances could, she was nothing like you. Though you suspected Izutsumi more than tolerated you from the way she would curl up between you and Marcille when she slept... half the time she complained that you reeked of dog smell, that you were noisy, and so on. You were nowhere near as agile as she was. Your form held little to be proud of; sharp teeth and claws, patches of fur scattered across your body. Both on the surface and deep within the dungeons black magic and all of its creations were things to be feared, reviled.

"Most people see me as a monster," you admitted bitterly, looking away from him as you hugged your knees a little tighter.

Laios’ brow furrowed slightly as he watched you retreat back into your shell. A monster? He wasn’t entirely certain what had compelled him to say what he said next, but the words came out regardless. “So what?” He frowned, his tone capturing your attention once more even if it was mostly due to the shock of hearing him speak like that. “Who cares what anyone else thinks?"  

The question was rhetorical and you knew that, yet you opened your mouth to speak anyways. The protests died on your lips before they could form entirely as he cut you off. “Their misconceptions about you aren’t going to change who you are.” The knight said firmly as he looked deep into your eyes, the intimacy of his earnest gaze causing you to look away again. 

Laios’ words echoed in your mind, resonating with a quiet strength that you couldn't ignore. You were silent for a long moment. Something about the way he spoke so confidently on the matter had you suspicious that he’d had to tell himself the same thing once or twice. "You're right," you replied, a newfound resolve coursing through your veins as you felt that unfamiliar spark of understanding for the first time in years. "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" You repeated.

For too long, you’d allowed the judgement and scorn of others to dictate your actions, to shape your perception of yourself. While it would take time to internalise it properly and truly digest the sentiment behind his words of encouragement, you felt a bit more steady for the time being. For now you would forge your own path alongside his party.

"Thank you," you said softly, meeting the knight's gaze with a grateful smile. 

“Of course.” He replied, laying back against his bed roll and looking up at the ceiling. He was torn now, frustration and mild jealousy gnashing their ugly teeth and gnawing at the back of his mind. Jealousy because he’d always dreamt of what it might be like to be a werewolf or something of the sort, frustration because others couldn’t see how amazing you and the other beastmen truly were beyond your respective abilities in the arenas. Questions swirled in his mind and died in his throat, even Laios knew that now wasn’t the time to ask. Beastman status aside, it irked him that you’d been made to feel that way about yourself.

You had laid down on your own bed before stealing another glance at him. Even in the faint glow that illuminated the room you could see the way his brow furrowed as he stared up at the vaulted ceiling, the mild tension in his jaw. 

“You look like you have something else to say.” 

He hesitated, his words caught in his throat… You couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for him and whatever he seemed to be wrestling with in that moment. Despite the barriers that separated you… you shared a common struggle, not just on this mission but in life as a whole. You understood that now.

Laios hesitated, uncertain of how his thoughts would be received. "I do," he admitted. "But it's... complicated."

“Try me,” you replied, rolling over so you could face him properly.

Laios hesitated again, his gaze drifting back to the ceiling as he weighed the words in his mind. Even in the short few days you’d been with the group he knew you well enough to know that you deserved to hear what he said next.  "It's just... sometimes I can't help but feel a little... envious," he admitted, self-consciousness flooding into his senses as he spoke the words aloud. A part of him expected you to snap at him for saying something like that after he heard the way his words hung in the open air.

You didn't though, instead you just cocked your head slightly, curiosity piqued by his confession. "Envious? Of what?" He couldn't have meant what you thought he did. You were cursed. Even with the enhanced senses, your strength, your speed… the weight of the isolation had always felt heavier.

A faint blush coloured Laios' cheeks as he met your gaze, a sheepish smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Of you, actually," he confessed, his tone laced with a mix of admiration and embarrassment. "I mean, you're so... unique. You’ve got the best of both traits, you’re strong, you’re fast… you’re a skilled strategist, your sense of smell is unparalleled and… I can always tell when you’re happy because your tail wags even when you’re trying to be serious.” He looked back up and away from you once again as he realised he couldn’t stop the words from spilling past his lips, scratching the itch in his brain. 

“I know it’s only reasonable for people to be wary of the unfamiliar, it’s in our nature to want to keep ourselves safe from something that could be perceived as a threat. It’s the one thing we living creatures all have in common. But it’s just frustrating, because…”  Because you’re like me. Laios wanted to stop himself from saying what came out next, but he couldn’t help it. "...because sometimes it feels like no matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, we'll always be seen as outsiders," There was a resigned look on his face now, despite the bitterness of the frustration replacing his usual upbeat tone. "Like we're destined to be misunderstood, judged solely by the circumstances of our existence."

You swallowed hard, looking back up at the ceiling with him as his rant struck something within you. His words stung with that all too familiar ache of rejection. There was another beat of silence that passed between the two of you as the weight of his sentiment settled in.

“I know what you mean,” You replied, voice barely above a whisper. This time it was your turn to snap him out of it. “But you know what? Despite it all, we're still here. And that counts for something, doesn't it?"

He didn’t seem convinced, but you could see the way the tension started to leave his body when he finally rolled over to face you from across the room. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Laios replied, the ghost of a halfhearted smile on his pink lips. 

The two of you looked at each other in silence for a long moment, a silent understanding passing between the two of you in the night. It had been a long time since you’d had the liberty to have a conversation like this. Open, honest, vulnerable under the cover of the night, tucked away somewhere quiet...

“Thank you,” you couldn’t help but say it again, something about the heavy conversation seemed to lighten the invisible load on your shoulders. “I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve had a conversation like this.”

A soft chuckle escaped him, and he gave a slight bob of his head in agreement. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's nice to just... talk."

As the conversation continued to flow between you, the initial tension that had hung in the air slowly dissipated, replaced by a growing sense of ease and comfort. Though you both knew that you should have been sleeping, found yourself drawn to his company, his honesty and blunt nature was refreshing. As the evening wore on, bathed in the gentle glow of the flickering candles and soft hum of conversation, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having met the tallman.

You could feel the gentle caress of the breeze as it snuck through the open window, teasing the flames of the candles and sending shadows dancing across the stone walls of the old room. The soft light illuminated the room, creating an intimate atmosphere that seemed to envelop you both in its soothing embrace.

Neither of you were certain when you’d drifted off to sleep, the orange glow of the candles having been extinguished long before you’d woken up again. 

As your eyes fluttered open they struggled momentarily to adjust to the darkness surrounding your bed. With the old shutters closed and the candles extinguished it was near impossible to see at first but as your eyes adjusted your enhanced night vision came in handy. All was silent inside now, the rest of your party mates likely fast asleep… the only sounds were the frenzied rushing of the wind against the building and Laios’ light snores in the bed across from you. Even beneath the cover of your sleeping bag, you could feel the cold seeping into your bones. The tufts of fur that littered your body seemed to stand on end in the darkness, prominent goosebumps prickling across your skin 

Something was off, it was colder now. Too cold. You reached out across the gap between your beds, gently shaking Laios's shoulder. His skin was cool to the touch and you couldn’t help but notice the way he was shivering in his sleep. 

“Laios,” you whispered urgently, “wake up.” 

He stirred, breathing slow and heavy. He let out a soft groan as he blinked his eyes open, mirroring your earlier struggle to adjust to the darkness in the room now as his amber eyes searched for you in the blackness. '”What’s going on?” he murmured.

“It’s freezing… something’s wrong.” You explained, tugging your sleeping bag closer around you as if to further prove your point.

“It’s probably just the dungeon’s terrain shifting again,” he replied calmly, rubbing his eyes while his body settled back into consciousness.

A shiver rippled through his body as the chill settled in. This isn’t good, he thought to himself, trying to calculate the situation at hand through the fog of his lingering sleep. Each of the rooms had shuttered windows, so it was likely that the others were fine as well. Considering the rushing sound of the air currents outside it would be safe to assume that there was a significant risk for frostbite out there if left exposed. Staying inside the abandoned structure was certainly the better alternative… but without some sort of external heat source your muscles would easily become stiff and painful at this temperature before long. 

Laios huffed, his breath just barely visible in the dark. So that was it then. He glanced back over to you then, watching as you struggled to properly cocoon yourself in your sleeping bag to stave off the cold for just a little longer.

“We’ll be alright,” He said tenderly with a reassuring smile.

“I’m freezing, and you’re still shivering.” You groaned, clenching your jaw as you tried to keep your teeth from chattering.

He swallowed hard, weighing his options in his mind once more as he considered what he was about to say before he took a deep breath. “We should probably huddle together for warmth then.” Laios said solemnly. In an attempt to calm his racing heart he continued quickly: “Shivering all night in our sleep won’t help with the fatigue, right now our muscles are expanding and contracting really fast to try and generate warmth to compensate for the-”

“Okay,” you interrupted, too tired to keep up with his fast paced facts. 

As you swung your legs off the side of your bed he hesitated before sliding over to make room for you, watching in mild amusement as you shuffled your way across the gap in your sleeping bag before flopping down next to him in the bed. For once he was at a loss for words, not expecting you to take the opportunity so quickly, though he supposed it made sense. Even though you looked more human than beast, he supposed wolves were pack animals, used to close proximity with other members of their pack. Although- he interrupted himself in his mind, that would be dependent upon the particular species of wolf you’d been - his thoughts were quickly interrupted by the groaning of the old wood frame supporting your bodies as it creaked in protest against the added weight before settling again.

This was better, his warmth next to you helping to warm you ever so slightly, but you could still feel the sting of the cold as you laid next to him in your sleeping bag, struggling to get comfortable. Laios found himself hesitating again, although he couldn’t place exactly why. It wasn’t as if he’d never slept in close proximity to someone else. Hell, on this journey alone he’d spent countless nights sandwiched between other members of his party as they slept. 

You didn’t seem to have a problem with it as you squeezed in next to him, but he could still see the way you shivered as you tried to get settled.

“It would, uh… probably be more effective if we combined our body heat.” He muttered, swallowing the lump in his throat once more as he looked away from you. 

Silence stretched out between you for what felt like forever as he felt the familiar claws of self doubt scraping at the back of his mind. He was thankful when you finally put him out of his misery, shooting him an awkward little smile as you spoke: “Yeah, that makes sense… I’m alright with it if you are.”

He nodded firmly, still avoiding your gaze as he helped you get tucked in beneath his sleeping bag. If you noticed the shift in his energy, you didn’t show it as you cuddled up next to him, pressing your back into his side beneath the covers. Laios tried to remain calm as he laid your now empty sleeping bag overtop of his, adding extra insulation for the both of you. The wind whistled outside, the shutters stirring as cold seeped its way in through the cracks in the wood. You were grateful now for the additional heat, it sounded like the storm outside was picking up. 

The tallman let out a sigh, his breath a cloud of fog as he listened to the intensity of the wind outside. He sat up to tuck the edges of the sleeping bag beneath the two of you, ensuring that the cold couldn’t slither in between the two of you. He glanced over at you then in the dark, your soft features just barely visible in the dim light leaking in from the slits in the shutters. A little smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched your ears twitch against the pillow. You looked so comfortable, cute even. 

He pushed the thought aside as he laid back down beside you, his arm resting on the pillow above your head as he attempted to give you a little bit of space.

“I’m glad we found this place,” He commented, his voice a soft murmur above the sound of the rushing wind outside. Despite the chill, the room was calm in comparison to the storm outside. “We’re lucky we didn’t get caught out in that.”

“Mhm…” You hummed in response, already close to falling asleep as you nuzzled against his arm with a sigh.

Laios’ cheeks turned a deeper shade of red beneath the cover of darkness. He could already feel his heart rate picking up again and something about the way he couldn't take his eyes off you suggested it was due to much more than the cold. Here he could feel the way the soft fur of your ears tickled his arm, your bushy tail laid comfortably across his hips. It took every ounce of willpower in his body not to reach out and stroke the soft fur there, wanting to know exactly how the sleek fluff would feel against the roughened skin of his palms. He watched for a moment as your breathing slowed and evened out, realising it would probably be weird of him to watch you sleep. 

So instead he shut his eyes and tried to will his body to follow suit, to relax his stiffened muscles and calm the steady hammering in his chest. You grumbled softly as he tried to pull his arm away to readjust, gripping his forearm lightly as you pulled it back beneath your head. He winced internally. He was trapped now, he didn’t want to fall asleep on his back but would it be weird if he slept facing you? 

It would probably do a better job of keeping you both warm, sure, but why was it so difficult to just go ahead and roll over? His limbs felt heavy, would it be weird if he put his arm around you? If someone walked in would it cause some kind of misunderstanding? He wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with a lecture from Chilchuck on the importance of professionalism in the workplace. 

He lost himself in his thoughts again until he felt another shiver run down across your body. Poor thing, he thought, how were you still cold? He felt like he was burning up but if the cheek pressed against his arm was any indication of your overall body temperature you were still freezing. 

With a sigh he gave in and wrapped his other arm around your waist, maintaining a respectful distance from any of the more intimate areas of your body. 

You relaxed instantly into the touch, pressing back against him and pulling his arms a little closer as you seeked out the warmth. He tried hard not to look at you then, honey coloured eyes searching the ceiling in the darkness once again before he ultimately gave up and tried to close them once again.

It took some time for him to finally settle down enough to start falling asleep again, only to be interrupted by the way your tail started to wag in your sleep. At first he thought it was cute, wondering about what kind of dream you must have been having at that moment. It had to be something good. He’d always wondered what it was his childhood dogs had dreamed about when he caught their tails thumping against the ground where they slept. Briefly, he wondered if it would be rude to ask you in the morning. That was, until you shifted slightly in your sleep and it started to brush against him instead of the bed.

Laios sucked in a harsh breath through his teeth as your appendage brushed against the front of his trousers. He tried to shift his hips away from you only to earn a little groan of protest as he tried to move.

“H-hey, careful where you’re moving that.” He whispered, shakily. 

It was almost shameful how quickly that little motion had him worked up. Having spent so long traversing the dungeon with multiple people in close proximity to monsters… it wasn’t like he had a lot of time to himself. His cheeks burned with embarrassment as he tried to squirm away, only for you to grumble and push back against him in your sleep, tail still swishing lightly against his hips. If you didn’t stop soon he might blow a gasket trying to explain the growing bulge pressing into the soft fat of your ass if you woke up, or die of embarrassment, whichever came first.

“C-cut it out.” He hissed, the arm around your waist shifting so he could grip the base of your tail and stop it from rubbing against him further.

The pressure earned a low moan from you in your sleep and he immediately tensed up and froze.

“Ngh… Laios?” You muttered, voice husky with exhaustion as you came to once again.

Shit. His heart leaped in his chest as you began to stir. By now he could hear the rush of his heartbeat hammering away in his chest like the steady beat of a drum. He released his grip on the tail, too embarrassed now to fawn over how soft the fur was there. 

“Y-Yeah, I’m still here” He whispered, his throat dry as he let out another quivering breath. He stayed still then, trying to will you to go back to sleep with his mind so he could turn away and continue to ignore his growing problem in peace.

“What’s wrong?” You mumbled groggily. Even in your half-asleep state, you caught the tremor in his voice. Though you sensed no immediate danger, the wobble in his tone set you on edge. Turning to face him, you inadvertently brushed against him once more.

The moment the soft fur brushed against him again, he couldn't help but twitch as another wave of heat surged through his body. It was all too much, the close proximity and now your warm breaths fanning across his chest, it was too intense. His eyes searched the room in the darkness, avoiding your gaze as he searched for any sort of distraction to calm himself down before you noticed. Sure, it was a natural biological reaction to external stimuli but no amount of logic could spare him the shame that washed over him as he wondered what you might think of him. Your voice ripped him from his spiral once more as you repeated his name. 

Those two syllables had no right to get him as worked up as they did. Your tired voice sending another shiver down his spine as he swallowed nervously. Had his name always sounded that good on your lips?

“Laios?” You repeated, completely oblivious to his predicament until you shifted again and felt the bulge pressing into your thigh.

He winced, bracing himself for whatever it was that might come out of your mouth next. The blond prayed silently to whatever benevolent deity above might listen that you hadn’t noticed anything and he might be able to talk his way out of this somehow and turn away. But it was too late now, the evidence was there for anyone to see- or feel in your case. A soft oh was all you offered to calm his racing mind. Heat rushed into his cheeks as he fumbled for words.

“It’s-” his words broke off as you gently pulled your leg away from him, a soft gasp spilling from his lips as he fought the urge deep within himself to chase the heat in order to satiate the growing need in his abdomen. “I… I’m sorry,” he breathed, pulling away from you and attempting to give you as much space as he could within the confines of your shared sleeping bag after you’d finally let go of him. “I…” He wanted to take the blame but he didn’t know how else to get the explanation out, “you were rubbing against me in your sleep and I tried to get you to stop. I’m so sorry.”

The blush in your cheeks mirrored the knight's as you fought to recall the dream you’d been having prior to getting woken up. You hoped you hadn’t said anything while you dreamt. 

“S-sorry, I must have been dreaming, I didn’t mean to… uh,” you stammered out, looking back at him uneasily.

“It’s okay.” He practically whispered back as he looked away from you. His nerves were set ablaze even further by the intensity of your wide eyed stare. This was pathetic, really, the way those fleeting touches sent his head spinning. The way you’d brushed up against him earlier only served to further ignite the fire inside of him. He closed his eyes then and forced himself to focus on his breathing- anything that would take his mind off of the way you looked at him or the light trail of heat that lingered along his skin from the way you’d touched his body.

“We can pretend this didn’t happen,” you offered, voice trailing off as shame crept into your voice as well. Your ears drooped down against your head in embarrassment, the fur blending in with your hair under what dim lighting the room had to offer.

Even as you tried to push the thought from your mind you couldn’t help but glance down and away from his face at that moment. You didn’t want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already seemed to be with the situation… but you couldn’t fight the curiosity, so tempted to steal a glance at the space between his thighs hidden beneath the covers.

He opened his eyes just in time to catch the way you glanced downward, unable to help the way he was drawn back to you despite the awkwardness of the situation. For a moment he wondered if he’d only imagined it and that subtle unconscious flick of your tongue against your lips. Laios practically bit his tongue to stop himself from asking something he might regret later. He wasn’t going to let one little slip-up ruin the trust that the two of you seemed to be building up so far. 

“Yeah… yeah, that’s probably for the best.” He replied with a halfhearted chuckle.

With the space between your bodies now it was becoming increasingly more difficult to ignore the pent up frustration in his body. The cold was now long forgotten as he focussed on the heat radiating off of you in bed next to him as the storm raged on outside.

“We should probably get back to sleep.” You commented, voice barely audible over the thrum of your heartbeat in your ears. You relaxed slightly, trying to get comfortable in the new position you found yourself in.

The sleeping bags shifted slightly and you pulled them up, your hand brushing against him through the layers of fabric. This third accidental touch was almost enough for his resolve to shatter, a strangled whine releasing from his throat before he could stop it. He tried to compose himself, it was better to just ignore it. In the morning it would be like nothing happened and the two of you could just forget about it as it became nothing more than an awkward memory at the edge of awareness. Something you think about as you’re trying to drift off to sleep and your brain starts tormenting you with humiliating memories. 

You swallowed thickly, now trying to calm yourself down in tandem with Laios as goosebumps prickled along your skin for another reason now. Something in you was begging to hear that noise again.

It was better to remain professional about this though, and you both knew that. Even as he wrestled with the urge to grab hold of you and pull you in for a kiss, even though he wanted so badly to know just how you’d taste- fuck. He didn’t want to embarrass himself any more than he already had. So instead of giving in, he bit the inside of his cheek and turned away from you then, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to ignore the ache as his erection pressed into the coarse fabric of his pants with every ragged breath that he took.

Unbeknownst to him you were fighting the exact same demons mere inches away. The air had grown thick between you, almost heavy with the weight of the tension in it. There was a long moment of hesitation before you pressed lightly into his back. Huddling together for warmth now seemed to be a blessing and a curse. 

Your shallow breaths against the nape of his neck were driving him crazy, the warm air ghosting across his skin a stark contrast to the chill in the room around you. It had a cascading effect on his senses. Goosebumps rose against the skin of his broad shoulders beneath his shirt and down his arms. He shifted slightly, biting back another hiss when his clothes rubbed against him. You could feel the tension of the muscles in his back rippling beneath his shirt, his breath coming out in shallow huffs. Your sensitive hearing easily picked up on the way his breathing shook. 

Fuck it, you thought quickly. This was all too much. If it all went south, in the worst case scenario you were almost certain that you could find your way back to the surface yourself somehow or die trying. If the sting of rejection came after what you said next you would find it within yourself to push it down and accept it. Neither of you could stew in this awkward limbo state any longer. 

“I… if you need help getting back to sleep,” you started, your voice tickling against the hair at the nape of his neck when you spoke, “I could uh… help you out…” you offered, voice trailing off at the end as you started to rethink your words. But it was too late now, and the proposition was out in the open.

Laios stilled completely at your words, his body tensing up even further when the offer dangled between you. He wasn’t sure it would be wise to accept, if he even could accept it at first. Part of him wasn’t even sure he’d heard you correctly, were you really offering what his mind wanted to believe that you were?

After a moment of stunned silence, he rolled back around to face you. Even in the dark you could see the pupils of his honeyed eyes were blown wide with lust. 

“Are you sure?” He asked quietly, searching your eyes for any hint of hesitation or reservation.

Your body acted before you were aware of it, lightly pressing closer against him beneath the covers of the sleeping bags but still resisting the urge to touch him intimately before you heard his answer. 

“If you’re comfortable with it,” you replied, tone still hushed beneath the cries of the storm outside, “and if you want me to.”

He hesitated as he weighed his options in his mind. His will was stronger than most, but his resolve in that moment had worn paper thin. As your sweet voice beckoned him he took in the softness of your features, those cute little ears twitching above your head as you waited for his response… How could he resist? 

“...I would like that.” The blond murmured sheepishly, his voice almost catching in his throat as he melted into you where your skin pressed against his.

You let out a breath of relief, your shoulders relaxing then as you slid your hand down between you. He inhaled sharply when your palm pressed itself against the heat in the front of his trousers and you could feel the way he pulsed beneath you in response to the touch. Skilled fingers slid gently along the length of his cock through the fabric as he bit the inside of his cheek. 

Your eyes widened slightly, a light gasp breaking the silence from you as you felt the less than humble girth between his hips. 

His body reacted involuntarily to the touch, leaning into it slightly as he squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment once more. Everything else had already begun to fade away as he focussed on the warmth of your palm against him, the length straining desperately against the cloth. Fingers rubbed slowly against the outside of the rough fabric before your hand gently squeezed around the tallman’s cock and earned another shuddering breath from him.

Hazy lust filled eyes focussed on the fluffy ears atop your head, too shy to look down at your face as he trembled beneath your touch. His hands balled into fists as you began to massage his shaft, brows knitting together as he fought to hold in a moan. He wanted to touch you so badly, your skin beckoning to him like a siren's song as he leaned into your touch.

The way he pulsed against every little flick and drag of your fingers had your mouth watering in anticipation. Still, you wanted to see him relax, your hand sliding up and down slowly against his length. 

The simple friction of your palm against him shouldn’t have sent him into the tailspin that it did, his hips beginning to shift instinctively against your touch. The slow massage of your grip against him only served to make his body ache even more. Laios finally started to let go, a low moan reverberating out against the night air.

“There we go…” you sighed, lightly squeezing him through his pants once more in appreciation.

As he began to give in fully to the pleasure you were giving him the sounds he made were nothing short of heavenly. Whimpers and whines began to slip out more frequently as you touched him now. His hips rocked against you as the slow strokes of your hands stoked the flames of need within him.

You were acutely aware now more than ever of the close proximity, your lips mere inches apart as you started to fully stroke him through his pants. As much as you wanted to tease him more, it was plain as day on his face that he needed this, and you certainly couldn't say no. Silently, you cursed the fabric that hid his body from view.

He couldn’t help but thrust his hips up against your grasp, letting out another soft whine as a similar thought crossed his mind. He needed more contact, the saccharine sound of your coos coupled with the sensation of your hand rubbing his cock through his pants was only making him more desperate as another whine escaped him.

Slowly, your fingers trailed up the front of his pants, earning a disappointed little huff from your comrade at the loss of your touch. Your breaths trembled as your hand came to rest at the closure on the front of his pants.

Your eyes searched for him in the darkness, looking into his with sincerity as you breathed out a soft “May I?”

“God, yes. ” He whined out.

Even if he wanted to he couldn’t have kept the desperation out of his voice if he tried. It was more than enough to have your hands undoing the fastening on his pants with ease. His hips lifted up off the bed so you could help him shimmy out of the garments just enough. 

His cock sprung free from the restrictive fabric and he let out a contented sigh of relief. It twitched in your hands, earning a soft hum from you as you wrapped your fingers around the base of his shaft.

The sudden release felt like heaven, he couldn’t stop the shudder that ran through his body as you began to stroke him again. That delicious drag of your hand against him, skin finally on skin. Your touch was gentle though, it made him want to press forward even more, his hips bucking up against your grip as a low moan ripped from his throat again. The touch was akin to a jolt of electricity through his system and as he stole another glance down at your pretty face he couldn’t help but admit to himself that perhaps it was more than the friction that had gotten him worked up. 

You lifted your hand and spat gently into it before reaching back down and spreading the warm slick against his length. His breath hitched at the new sensation, his chest heaving slightly with every breath he took. 

You sighed happily as you felt another grateful pulse beneath your grip. Your thumb swiped lightly over the bead of pre-cum that drooled out of the needy pink tip of his cock while you began to pump him slowly. Hot breath fanned against his neck, your gaze flickering back up to his handsome face. If Laios noticed the way your eyes glanced down to his parted lips, he didn't show it. He was too engrossed in the almost torturous pace you’d set for him. 

Every instinct within him screamed for you to pick up the pace, to hurry up and relieve the tension building up in his body as your grip tightened around his shaft. He let out a groan, knowing that in actuality he wouldn’t dare try and rush you, wanting to hang on to the intoxicating feeling of this intimate moment for as long as he possibly could.

“Can I kiss you?” He whimpered out, looking down at you with a pitiful expression on his flushed face.

He’d hardly had to finish his sentence before your lips were on his, eagerly swallowing his moans while you jerked him off under the covers. The noise you made was somewhere between a moan and a growl, your sharp canines grazing against his lips while your free hand moved up to grip the mess of short blonde hair at the nape of his neck.

Your kiss was returned eagerly, his eyes fluttering shut as he basked in the perfect taste of your lips. The low hum of Laios’ moans vibrated up from deep within his chest while his hips bucked lazily with every pump of your fist against him. When you finally broke apart he was panting and whining as he thrusted up into your hand.

“You’re so handsome like this,” you purred, pressing kisses against his jaw before he needily pulled you back into him for another hungry kiss.

One of his strong hands tangled its fingers in the locks of your messy hair, the tips of his digits gently putting pressure on your scalp as he kissed you with newfound passion. His cheeks burned at your compliment, unable to keep from giving in. He would proudly drink up every ounce of pleasure you were offering him. You returned the kiss full force, every flick of your wrist dragging more of those beautiful sounds from his lips.

Laios had always found himself weak in the knees whenever you’d compliment him, but he’d done his best to ignore it for the sake of the mission. Your kind words had such an effect on him but right now your praise felt like so much more. Something about the way you pressed into him, your fingers grasping at his hair, soft lips on his, it made him want nothing more than to hear what sort of sounds you might make beneath him instead.

As if on cue, his fingers grazed lightly against the base of your ears, earning a whimper against his lips as you kissed. The soft fur was just as incredible beneath his fingertips as he imagined. He'd wanted to feel those cute little wolf ears from the moment he'd laid eyes on them and now was the perfect opportunity. It was his turn to make you weak in the knees, the comfortable intimacy of the touch had every thought melting out of your mind.

At your moans he couldn’t help but thrust a little harder into your fist. But you slowed down, the slick strokes of your palm all but stopping as your fist tightened around the base of his shaft.

Selfishly, you wanted to drag this out for as long as you could, to milk this moment for everything that it was worth while moans tangled together between you two. His tongue dipped past your soft lips, sinking into your mouth and running along yours as he continued to play with your ears.

You found yourself pressing your thighs together, hips shifting as arousal pooled within you, a futile attempt to get some sort of friction against where you needed it most. The taste of his lips against yours was almost enough on its own to have your eyes rolling back into your head. But the way his fingers teased and tugged at your sensitive ears had your mind swirling with lust as your thumb swept across the crown of his cock once more, smearing precum and saliva against the heated skin.

He groaned again at your teasing, breaking the kiss with a pant as he rutted up into your fist. His head was spinning from the way you touched him, all five of his senses on fire. The way your hand squeezed around his cock, your soft lips on his, those cute expressions when he played with your ears, after having gone so long without a moment to relieve himself it was almost too much and not enough all at the same time. He could feel the soft triangles of nerves and fur twitching and tensing beneath his hand, your whimpers against his mouth were already getting desperate.He needed more of you, more of those sweet sounds you were giving him.

“Please,” you begged, the word leaving your lips like a prayer before you’d realised what you were even saying. The storm didn’t matter anymore, the only pressing issue was the burning desire that threatened to consume you both in an instant. Your grip stiffened around him then as he fucked your hand lazily.

He couldn’t help the lusty moan that drawled out of him when you tightened up. Laios could only hope that the cover of darkness hid how shameless he looked then, adorned by your touch. He couldn’t think, couldn’t focus with what you were doing to him. He could hardly keep his composure as your name left his mouth in another desperate whine. The pleasure zipped its way up his spine as his head fell back against the pillows again, eyes fluttering shut.

A strong hand wrapped around your waist, practically pulling you on top of him. His mouth hung open, lips parted to let out the needy sighs and whines that spilled out as his brows knit together.

He looked like the most delectably sinful work of art you’d ever laid eyes on, every marble statue and delicate oil painting paling in comparison. It was difficult not to feel giddy at the fact that you were the only one who got to see such a beautiful sight.

You couldn’t help yourself but to lean down and press kisses along the exposed skin of his neck, canines lightly brushing against the sensitive spots on his neck while you lightly nipped and sucked at his pale flesh.

He could hardly keep his composure, more desperate whimpers leaving his mouth as he was consumed by desire. His heart pounded in his chest like the beat of a drum when you finally straddled him, soft thighs splayed open across his as you worked his cock.

His hand gripped your hips with a newfound possessiveness. The warmth of your body pressed against him had him completely drunk on lust and the throbbing between his legs that you’d been skillfully building up with every little flick of your wrist was becoming unbearable.

Laios couldn’t stop himself from rutting up against you, his cock rubbing up against your crotch as he held you down against his body. A shudder wracked through him when he felt the tip rub against your heat through the layers of fabric that separated you two. 

He let out a soft curse at the feeling, your warmth only teasing him more as you let out a little cry of pleasure. Your hips jolted forwards against him involuntarily, searching for a little more pressure when he bumped against you. 

“Ah…” You sighed, your grip on his length slipping when he shuddered beneath you.

The little mewls you were already starting to let out as you ground against him were more compelling than any siren’s call. His hips jutted forward again as he started to thrust against you in time with the tantalising roll of your hips. The way your body moved on top of him was hypnotising. If there was a heaven, this is what it must have felt like. He needed to get his hands on your skin, to make you feel even half the pleasure you were giving him. His breathing was growing haggard as he fought the urge to rip your shorts in half just so he could have you right then and there. 

“Hah, please, ” he panted, “please, can I touch you?” The way his golden eyes stared up at you, wide and pleading, would have been enough on its own to have your heart racing.

Your eyes were half lidded as you looked down at him, your tail swishing lightly across his thighs in anticipation. Pride swelled in your chest at the mess you’d reduced him to in just a few short minutes, though you were no better.

“Please.” You echoed, proving your desire with another needy roll of your hips against his length.

Your gorgeous form settled prettily in his lap, eagerly awaiting his next move. Gods above, he would do anything for you. 

The tallman’s breath hitched in his throat at your plea, his mouth drying up when he looked up into your eyes. His hands trembled lightly against your thighs as he moved to hook his fingers in the waistband of your shorts. 

“Are you sure?” He stammered out.

Once this line was crossed it could never be uncrossed, there would be no going back. Hell, he didn’t think he wanted to. If he could lay with you every night for the rest of his life he’d die satisfied. Thankfully for him, your reassurance was all he needed to let loose.

“I need you.” You breathed.

The intoxicating drag of his length against your clothed warmth had you both tensing up with the desire for more. You craved him like you’d never craved another’s touch before, the burning ache within you would be satisfied with nothing more than being filled by his girth. 

Simultaneously, at your needy whines he found himself on the verge of losing control, his hips grinding up against you with a little more force before he finally pulled the garments off of you. His knuckles white as he clenched the fabrics in his hand and discarded them beside himself on the bed. The pressure, the lust, all of it was too much.

His strong hands grasped your hips again for a moment as he stared at you in awe, the soft tufts of fur on your body perfectly framing your heat. If it had been any other time and place he’d have had you on your back beneath him in seconds, diving his face between your thighs just to get a taste of what you had to offer. The slick glint of your own arousal shone slightly in the dim lighting, he’d have to wait for another time if he got the chance. Right now he needed this.

One hand slid between your thighs to stroke you gently, his gaze laser focussed on the way you twitched and trembled beneath his touch. The sweet sound of your moans filled his ears and he couldn’t take it anymore. He lifted you up again, aligning his cock with your entrance before slipping inside. Laios didn’t want to waste a second longer without your skin against his.

The head of his cock split you open with ease and had you whimpering at the sting of the stretch while you sunk down on him. Thighs tensed as you sucked his tip inside of you, sending his eyes rolling back into his head.

You groaned, “sh-shit… ah.. S’too big..” You whined.

Despite your protest, he watched as you circled your hips above him, wanting more of that painful pleasure as you bounced slightly in his lap. Silently, you begged your body to get used to the feeling, but on the other hand you didn’t think you ever could… hell, maybe you didn’t want to. The burn of his size was delicious in its own way.

“Mmm-ngh!” He grunted, the tips of his fingers digging into the meat of your thighs. His nails threatened to bite into the skin there as he tried hard not to buck his hips up into you. As much as his body craved the feeling of bottoming out inside you he refused to cause you any further discomfort. 

“Fu-huhhck.. It’ll… it’ll get easier, I promise.” Laios cooed, reaching a hand down to stroke you again to ease the pain.

Your head lolled back against your shoulder as you tried to take him deeper, the ridge of his cockhead sinking in past the first ring of muscle when you began to relax for him. The whimpers and groans already leaving your mouth had goosebumps rising against his pale flesh again as his own whines trembled past his lips. His dick pulsed inside of you, sending more fluid leaking out against where you were connected.

“Oh my god,” You groaned, feeling his precum mixing with yours and dripping down the inside of your thighs. 

His breaths were ragged as he tried to maintain his composure for your sake, but all was lost as soon as you commented on the way he twitched inside of you. With a grunt, he let his hips surge forward the slightest bit, sinking deeper inside. The knowledge that his cock was leaking inside of you, that you could feel every twitch and every pulse of his veins in your heat, it stirred something primal within him. His fingers tensed against you while he fought the urge to rut up into you like an animal.

Suddenly, your hand joined his in stroking yourself, fingers teasing the engorged area of your arousal. His eyes were glued to you then, watching the way you struggled to take him. Your hips rolled up and down against the first few inches, trying to take just a little bit more.

“That’s right..” he panted, watching with half lidded eyes as you touched yourself above him. His voice was a low purr against your eardrums, his thumb rubbing little comforting circles into your hip as he drank in the beautiful sight before him. “You can take it… you’re already doing so well, just a little more, yeah?”

You nodded, cheeks burning at the praise as another inch sunk inside.

Laios' eyes darkened with a fierce hunger as he watched you work your fingers against your slick heat. The wet, rhythmic sounds of your shallow thrusting blended with the heavy symphony of breathless moans and urgent whimpers filling the room. The old wooden bedframe groaned beneath your intertwined bodies, each creak adding a raw, primal beat to the music of your desire.

It was all music to his ears. His pupils were blown wide, gaze locked on where you straddled him, lost in the sight of you. The scorching, tight sensation of your walls squeezing around him erased all coherent thought, leaving only a primal urge to fill you completely. 

Barely three inches deep inside you, he was on the edge of sanity, teetering on the brink of losing control with every subtle shift and grind of your hips. Each tiny movement had him mesmerised, but when you whimpered his name with a desperate cry, he gasped, watching you sink further down on his cock. Every little movement you made had his gaze transfixed on you.

Your hands clenched into tight fists against the coarse fabric at the hem of his shirt, the material now messily bunched up around his waist. The friction of the cloth against your skin only heightened the intensity, adding another layer of sensation to the overwhelming pleasure that coursed through both of you.

His abdomen tensed and flexed beneath your hands as he held himself back. He gasped and shuddered, your body taking him so well as you practically sucked him in. Jaw clenched tight, he let out a soft groan of your name. For a brief moment his eyes squeezed shut, his needy whines only serving to further your attempts to take him all the way. The cold air of the room stung his skin where it touched him, heightening the sensation of your warm body pressed against his.

You were a whining mess already, the mixture of pain and pleasure going straight to your groin when you finally took him all the way down to the hilt. The slight curve of his dick had the head pressing firmly against the spot inside you that made your knees weak. He was finally sheathed inside you, pulsing and twitching like a live wire. Ironically, he was the one who wanted to start pounding into you like a dog in heat. His eyes rolled back again as he let out a guttural moan, the sound rippling up from somewhere deep in his chest. Laios wanted to stay composed, to keep himself in check… but the excitement coursing through his body had rendered him helpless against his own desires as he began to bounce you up and down in his lap. 

The way he said your name echoed inside your head, somewhere between a plea for more and a low groan that rolled off the tip of his tongue. Your hands shook against the fabric of his shirt, your back arching overtop of him as you tried to catch your breath, a blessing he wouldn’t allow you as he bucked into you.

“Oh my god,” his voice was breathless. “Fff… ah- ‘m sorry,” He whined, the friction sending a ripple of ecstasy down his spine. 

His grip tightened on your hips, holding you tightly against his pelvis. That brief moment of weakness had earned a wanton cry of pleasure from your lips. He let another shaking breath out, trying to compose himself, he was reminded of the way your face contorted when he pushed inside. His eyes shut again as he took a deep breath.

Once the initial shock wore off for you it was heavenly. The sound of his ragged pants and whines egging you on as you started to move against him, fighting the urge to melt into his body at the pleasure. Your legs were quivering now as he thrusted up against you again, trying with all your might to keep enough of a level head to move back down against him.

One of his hands reached down to massage your thigh as he cooed soft praises up at you. When you’d started to move all bets were off, his hips thrusting up eagerly to meet your movements while his other hand held your hips possessively. The slow rhythm you’d set was perfect, but he needed more . 

“‘S’okay, right?” he huffed out, looking up at you with what could only be described as adoration. He wanted you to enjoy this just as much as he did.

All you could manage was a hurried nod and a whimper.

“That’s it… yeah,” He groaned, watching as you held onto him for dear life. 

Your features contorted in ecstasy as he began to roll up against you, his shallow thrusts helping to establish that slow rhythm between you for the time being.

That smooth voice had you clenching around him, body shivering. The wind rushed by outside and fell on deaf ears, the only thing that mattered to either of you right then was this perfect moment. Your body spread open on his dick while he fucked you gently. 

“So good,” he babbled, mostly to himself as his head fell back against the pillows. “Oh my god,” Laios groaned, his words punctuated by the slow, steady roll of his hips up against you as he ground his cock against that sensitive spot inside you. 

Another cry of pleasure left your throat, the sound hanging in the open air between you as you began to slide yourself up and down along his length. His words had you dizzy, already drunk on his touch as your legs shook on either side of him. Your eyes fluttered shut, trying to maintain a steady rhythm, but the continuous drag against your sweet spot had your eyes glazing over and he wasn’t about to stop any time soon. When another cry of his name left your lips he groaned again. The sound was smooth and hoarse all at the same time, his hands tensing on your hips.

Your body was practically milking him already while you rode him. In a perfect world he could go on like this all night, just laying back and letting you take control… but he could see the fatigue in your movements. Your eyebrows knit together, hands shaking against his abs. Any semblance of modesty or bashfulness had left him as the hands that had rested on your hips slipped below you to grip the fat of your ass with a grunt. 

In an instant your back was flush against the bed, hips pinned down by his capable hands. 

Laios aligned himself with your entrance once more, pushing himself in all the way to the hilt in one fluid motion as he kissed your cheeks to soothe the ache of the stretch. A hand pressed against his cheek, golden eyes looking lovingly into your own as he smiled down at you.

“I can take it from here, okay?” His voice was soft right before he pressed another kiss against your forehead. He had you pinned beneath him as he littered kisses across your heated skin. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back like this, not for long anyway.

“Ngh… o-off,” you whimpered, your fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt. If he was going to fuck you like this you wanted to see it all, every tense and flex of his thick muscles above you until the image was locked in your brain. “I wanna see you.” 

There was a moment of hesitation at your plea, Laios taking in the gentle tone and the way your ears laid flat against the top of your head as you begged so cutely underneath him. He’d never felt so wanted in his life, and the way you clung to him had him half convinced this might have been some sort of dream. Nonetheless he’d shed his shirt in an instant immediately afterwards, his sturdy frame on full display for you now as he sat back up between your thighs.

Your heart nearly stopped in your chest as you watched him pull his shirt off over his head. Your eyes greedily drank in the sight before you, the way his bare chest heaved with every shaking breath, his abdominal muscles tensing beneath his skin as he rocked back into you. He couldn’t help the smile on his lips when he caught you staring.

His lips were on yours then, capturing them in another hungry kiss as he began to thrust into you with long, slow strokes. Your legs squeezed against his hips, tongues tangling together in an intricate dance to the beat of a song only the two of you could hear. 

Soft fingers pressed into the firm flesh spanning his broad shoulders as you whined into the kiss.

Laios practically growled then, something snapping inside of him when he felt the way your tail flicked against the side of his leg in approval. His head buried itself in the crook of your neck as he began to pick up the pace, grinding himself down against your tight heat.

Creaks and moans filled the room now, the wet sound of skin slapping against skin coming in to join the chorus. Your arousal and pre-cum dripped between the two of you, the viscous translucent fluids stretching between your bodies and connecting the two of you in strings every time he began to pull back. The room was heavy with the scent of sex, all initial reservations forgotten as he slammed into you.

“Ah!” You gasped, claws biting into the skin of his back accidentally when he rammed into the spot that had your vision blurring again.

“Fuck!” He growled again, his teeth scraping against your shoulder in retaliation. “You’re so fucking hot… taking me so well.” 

You practically squealed beneath him, body clenching around his cock with a grip that threatened to make him cum on the spot. The headboard banged against the wall with the force of his thrusts, his grip on you tightening possessively. All you could do was gasp and whimper beneath him as you tried to keep yourself coherent.

The way he fucked you was animalistic, his hips grinding down against you just enough to rub at your arousal trapped between your bodies. Sweat began to bead on his brow as he lost control, those primal urges within him flooding to the surface as he rutted into you.

Your body tensed and shook under him as he used his grip on your hips to deepen his thrusts. His usual soft amber eyes looked more golden, more wolf like than your own as he looked down at you.

Laios grunted as he rolled forwards against you again and sent your claws dragging against his back. You clung to him desperately, this carnal need worse than any heat you’d ever gone through. He had you panting and gasping with the force of his relentless thrusts, the bed creaking and slamming against the wall as you both lost control.

“Fuck, fuck, please! D-don’t stop” you sobbed out.

He didn’t think it was possible for your body to grip him any tighter but every time he pulled out it felt like you were sucking him back in.

He growled in response, his hand reaching down to stroke you in time with his relentless thrusts as he felt the tension starting to build in his abdomen. Your cute little squeaks and whines went straight to his cock. He couldn’t form a proper sentence if he tried.

You were babbling now, begging for more as you started to come undone around him. The perfect arch of your back off the bed pressed you even tighter against his body and he took it upon himself to hold you there as he fucked you through your orgasm.

It had you seeing white, a sob of pleasure wracked your body. Thighs clenched around his hips, your moans shaking. The blond watched as you came, your head lolling back against your shoulders in post orgasmic bliss. He savoured the way your body tightened around him.

His fingernails dug into your hips as he pistoned into you. “C-close…” He grunted into your neck.

In your bliss, you begged him to finish inside. The debauched whimpers setting his nerves on edge and his pulse skyrocketing. Your pleas filling his head as he ground against your already overstimulated heat. Your cum dribbled down against his skin as he pinned you back down, growling into your neck as he reached his peak with a loud curse. The sound was muffled by your soft flesh against his lips and teeth as he shuddered above you. His hips jutted forward and slammed you against the bed as you milked him for everything he was worth, his cock twitching and sputtering inside you.

“Ngh! Fuck…” He whined. His hands rubbed lightly against your sides, lightly squeezing your ass one more time as he stayed inside.

“Hah,” you chuckled tiredly, lightly stroking along the marks you’d left on his back. “I knew you were pent up but I didn’t realise you were that pent up,” you teased, turning your head to the side so you could kiss his jaw.

“‘S not my fault,” He whined, nuzzling further into your neck. After all, how could it be his fault alone when you had him so wound up he could barely think straight? 

This earned a little giggle from you as he rolled off of you, coming to rest at your side in the bed. The wind had calmed outside, the musty scent of the old room long replaced with the stench of arousal and sweat. A part of him couldn’t believe what you’d just done, and in a dungeon no less…

The sight of you blissed out next to him was enough to make him forget his lamentations entirely. Your soft ears tickled his jaw as you nuzzled closer, arms clinging to him as fatigue took over again. He reached down and pulled the sleeping bags back up over you, not wanting to risk the cold creeping back in again.

“You’re so cute like this,” He smiled, the fingers of his free hand gently running up through your hair to stroke your ears lightly.

“Ngh… n-no, shut up,” You whined.

It was a weak line and it was obvious you didn’t mean it. Even Laios could have told you that from your tone alone, but the way your tail wagged against your side of the bed had him beaming. 

“Hey, I mean it,” He murmured, his hands tracing lightly against your skin and the soft patches of fur on it.

You kept hiding your face regardless, embarrassed by the compliment. Your lips pressed gently against his shoulders, peppering kisses there in a silent apology for the claw marks as exhaustion crept into your bones. 

“You’re gorgeous.” He whispered, leaning down and to plant a soft kiss against the dewy skin of your forehead. He took it one step further and reached over to lightly stroke your tail. His golden eyes were half lidded now and filled with all the adoration in the world as he looked down at you. 

“We should get back to sleep,” you sighed, melting into the way he stroked your hair. 

Even just mere hours ago he couldn’t imagine having you this at ease and relaxed in his arms. He gently adjusted himself so he was curled around you too, your limbs tangled together as you drifted off to sleep.

[pitchsidestories]

looks can be misleading II Beth Mead x Vivianne Miedema x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1928

a/n: the inspiration for this oneshot came from this adorable request here.

Playing for Arsenal had always been your dream, even as a little child. But now that you were actually here, at the Arsenal Training Centre, reality looked much different. You hated everything.

From the way the other players stared at you, taking in your tattooed arms when you were first introduced to team to the fact that they never seemed to shut up and kept yelling at each other.

As a person who liked it quiet and to keep to herself, it was all too much, too loud. Your social battery had been empty before the warm-up was even over.

So while your new teammates stayed on the training pitch, chatting away, you headed for the shower. Maybe if you were fast enough, you had a few quiet moments to yourself.

You could even be done before the others joined. You walked with quick, impatient steps towards the dressing room, missing the conversation right behind you.

“What do you guys think about the new girl?”, Leah asked the others, genuine curiosity in her voice.

Kim shrugged with a small smile: “I like that she doesn’t talk much.“

“Of course you do.“, Lia laughed, bumping her arm against the smaller midfielders.

“Hey!“, Kim protested.

Laura chimed in, the sweetest smile on her lips: “I like her. She’s so mysterious and her tattoos are cool.“

Katie eyed the young Austrian like she just said the most stupid thing she ever heard: “Nah, I think she’s a bit weird, ye know?”

“I think I agree. She didn’t even say hello when Jonas introduced her.“, Leah stated.

Beth who had been listening quietly, assured her teammates: “We’ll tell you how she’s with us at home.“

“Good luck with her.“, Manu grinned at her.“You know, I’ve gathered quite some experience with quiet, broody women.“ She inconspicuously nodded towards her girlfriend.

With a frown, Vivianne turned to her: “Wait, are you talking about me?”

“Who else would I be talking about, babe?”

Viv rolled her eyes with clear fondness for girlfriend: “Time to go home. Bye, guys.“

“Bye.“, their teammates echoed in unison. 

Beth and Vivianne were the ones that you would stay with until your own flat was ready to move in. If that meant days or weeks, who knew.

At least their apartment was close to the training centre and you had their guest room to yourself.

Sitting on your bed, you enjoyed being in your own company for a moment. A very short moment as you came to realize.

“Y/n? Do you want to come down and cook dinner with us?”, Beths called for you, her voice echoing from the walls and you wondered if the neighbours had heard her too.

You didn’t want to. But you also didn’t want to seem impolite so you joined them in their kitchen.

“I’m not great at cooking…“, you admitted.

“No problem, we can do this together.”, Beth assured you with an encouraging smile.

“Okay, sure.”, you shrugged.

“It’s easy.”, Viv added.

“Yes, you can start with cutting some veggies.”, her girlfriend advised you in an uplifting tone.

While you did as she said the Dutch woman cleared her throat nervously. “How did you like your first training session y/n?”

“Good.”, you answered monosyllabically as you focused on cutting the vegetables in front of you.

“And how do you like London? Do you have any family close by?”, Beth wanted to know curiously.

“I haven’t seen enough of the city yet to say if I like it and no, my family isn’t from here.”, you revealed. From the way you phrased your answer it was clear that you preferred to not talk about your familiar relations.  

“Oh.”, the blonde muttered surprised.

The rest of the cooking and dinner passed uneventfully. During the dinner Beth tried to get you to talk a little bit more, but that turned out to be unsuccessful.

“I’m going to bed, good night you two.”, you announced once you were done with eating.

“Good night, y/n. See you tomorrow.”, the English forward chirmed. She watched you leaving the kitchen with a loud sigh.

“She’s truly intimidating, Beth.”, Viv whispered when you were out of ear-sight. An amused twinkle was in her light eyes.

“Even you think so?”, Beth chuckled, resting the head on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Reluctantly the Dutch player put an arm around the smaller woman. For a moment she paused before admitting thoughtfully. “No, I think what she really needs is time, it’s not easy to be the new girl in the team.”

“You would know, huh?”, the English forward gave her a teasing smile.

“Yes, I do actually.”, Viv acknowledged, pressing a soft kiss to her girlfriend’s blonde hairline.

In the past she had quite often confessed that the beginning of her Arsenal career was quite tough for her.

As a young foreign girl who already had made herself known in the national team the Dutch forward had to accustomed to a new country, different playing style and a fresh pressure which came with playing for such a big club.

“We’ll see.”, Beth answered hoping her girlfriend was right about you.

“Morning y/n.”, she greeted you warmly the next morning, next to her the young dog was already bouncing excitedly.

“Morning.”, you mumbled suppressing a yawn. It was clear for everyone that you were in desperate need of some caffeine.

“We’re taking Myle on a walk. Would you like to come with us? We can get coffee or something.”, the blonde offered smiling friendly.

“Uhm okay.”

“You don’t have to, obviously.”, Viv added quickly.

“No, I do.”, you smiled shily at them.

The couple seemed happy that you accepted their offer. You all shrugged on jackets and left for a stroll around the neighbourhood.

Beth and Viv walked slightly in front of you, politely giving you your own space while Beth kept talking and Vivianne just listened. You were perfectly fine just taking everything in and watching Myles’ floppy ears bounce with every step. You could feel a smile tug on the corner of your mouth.

When you reached the coffee shop, you offered to wait outside with Myle. Patiently, you sat at a table outside and rubbed your hands together. It was an unusually cold morning. Even the little dog at your feet seemed to shiver slightly in the cold air, despite the thick brown fur.

“Come here.“, you mumbled to yourself as you gently pulled Myle onto your lap, in hopes that your body warmth would help. She immediately curled up on your lap and let you pet her.

“Your puppy is really cute.“, you said softly as your two teammates reemerged from the coffee shop, steaming cups in their hands.

Beths’ face lit up as soon as she saw you two together: “Oh, looks like she likes you already.“

Myle lifted her head as if she was listening attentively.

You could feel your cheeks heating up: “She was getting cold so I warmed her…“

“That’s sweet of you. You like milk and sugar with your coffee, right?”, Beth smiled and pushed a cup of coffee towards you.

You gratefully reached for it, wrapping your hands around the warm drink. “I do. How did you get that?”

“I was hoping for the best. It was either that or black coffee.“, Beth laughed as she took the chair next to yours.

You sipped on your coffee and smiled: “Not bad.“

“Oh, so she can smile!”, Beth exclaimed happily.

You grimaced, slightly embarrassed.

"This is your and Myles' achievement, Beth.”, Vivianne told her girlfriend.

Beth laughed again and you had to admit, you could actually get used to that sound. “I think Myle deserved the majority of the credit.“

“She’s just so cute.“, you mumbled as you looked down at the puppy on your lap.

“Yes, she is.“, Beth agreed, her eyes wandering from Myle to your face.

There was something intense in her gaze and it made you immediately feel insecure, the blush creeping back into your cheeks, so you set the little dog down and got up from your seat, indicating that you would like to continue your walk. “Let’s go.“

Even though you were in London for almost a week now, you still preferred to run your laps away from others in training. You couldn’t focus on yourself when everyone kept talking. Besides, you didn’t care much for the gossip anyway that was so willingly shared during the warm-up.

As you ran by yourself, you didn’t hear any of the conversation Beth was having with her teammates on the other side of the pitch.

“Wait, are you serious, Beth? Are you still talking about her over here.“, Leah asked as she jogged alongside her teammate. She subtly nodded in your general direction.

“Leah! Of course I’m talking about her. She’s such a sweetheart once you get to know her.“

“One could think you’ve a crush on her, Beffy.”, Steph teased the friend grinning.

“I mean.”, the English forward run her free hand nervously through her blonde hair.

“Stephs not wrong here.”, Alessia commented with a cheeky smile.

“She’s kind of cute, don’t you think?”, Beth turned her head to look at her girlfriend, searching for the confirmation she needed.

“No, I do.”, Viv agreed.

“Well, this is going to be interesting.”, Kim remarked with a meaningful glance toward the couple.

The piece of their talk you did hear left you almost speechless.  “Wait, what?”, you interrupted them stunned.

“Oh, y/n.”, Beth sighed softly.

“I forgot my cleats I’ll be right back.”, you lied, you were desperate to get out of this uncomfortable situation as quick as possible.

“Shit.”, the Dutch forward cursed under her breath. There was a mutual understanding between Viv and her lover that didn’t need words, so they quietly followed you into the changing room.

“Y/n? If you feel more at ease not living at our home your place is ready.”, the younger of the two offered heavy heartedly.  

“Yeah, I’ll move out.”, you decided unable to look into their sad eyes.

“Sorry, for our teammates talk from earlier.”, Beth apologized biting her lip guiltily.

“Beth, Viv, stop.”, you demanded.

“We’ll leave.”, Viv nodded.

“No, I want to tell you something,. I like you two .. like a lot.”, you confessed it took all your bravery to say these words out loud.

You know your looks could be misleading, they made you appear tough: your muscles and tattoos were like your armour against a world which hasn’t always treated you with the kindness you and everyone really deserved.

But you were tired of being alone and the two women showed you a way to break out of the loneliness.

“We like you two.”, the Dutch woman assured you earnestly.

“Y/n, what are you trying to say?”, the blonde asked confused by the turn this discussion took.

“I don’t know what I’m trying to say, that’s the problem.”, you admitted.

“That’s okay.”, Beth replied.

“I guess thanks for everything. I’ll get my stuff later.”, you smiled sadly at them.

“Actually, Viv paused a second before continuing, you could stay with us.”

“Really? To be honest I’d like to stay at your home.”, you looked up surprised.

“Our home.”, Viv corrected you as Beth pulled you into a tight group hug.

“We got to keep her.”, the blonde hummed happily.

“Beth, I’m not Myle!”, you protested.

“No, but you’re just as cute.”, she answered giving you a kiss to your cheek which immediately turned red.

Despite the banter these two and the dog were the closet thing you had to call home.

[andillneverbethesame]

hey! Could you write anything with James Potter based off the black dog by Taylor? This song has been killing me for the last weeks and I love your writing!! If not that’s okay! Have a nice day 🤗🤗

THE BLACK DOG

❥ james potter x reader

❥ warnings: cheating, smut...

❥word count: 2k

❥ a/n: i love this song sm

my ts masterlists pt 1 pt 2

"where were you?" you asked him as soon as he got home. it was two in the morning, three hours past the time he promised to come back.

he doesn't evn bother to give you a "hello" kiss on the top of your head like he used to. he doesn't even look at you. it's been like this for a while now.

"at the black dog. with the boys," he said. short answer. like always.

you knew he was at the black dog. he always forgot to turn his location off. but you also share yours with all of 'the boys': sirius black, remus lupin and peter pettigrew and you knew very well they weren't at the black dog.

so if he wasn't with them, who was he with?

the answer is a pretty ginger girl with green eyes who used to go to the same school with you and james.

lily evans.

she was someone you've always felt insecure of because of her past with james. the two of them dated for about a year and broke up just about half a year before you and james started going out.

he always reassured you and even lily told you there's nothing but friendship between them and you believed them.

you wouldn't believe them now.

"interesting," you mumbled, trying your best not to start shouting at him.

"what?" he stopped on his way to the bathroom and turned around to face you.

you shook your head and laid your head on the pillow.

james got into your shared bed about half an hour later. you could hear him sigh a couple of times and also pace around your bathroom before he decided to go and lie down with his back facing you.

"goodnight, i love you," you whispered loud enough for him to hear but. . .

he said nothing back.

--------------------------------------------------

when you and james broke up, a few weeks later, it felt like the end of the world.

this break up wasn't as dramatic as in all the movies and books. james came home from merlin knows where and said, "i can't do this anymore."

you knew what he meant. he couldn't continue pretending you two were going to be fine, he even stopped calling a lunatic whenever you brought lily up. he couldn't continue coming back home, wishing someone else was waiting for him and then pretending it's her lying next to him in bed. he couldn't continue pretending that you're both not dying inside.

when james told you that, you only nodded, whispering, "okay". there was nothing left to say and nothing left to do. all was already said and done. you were exhausted fighting for the both of you. the ship was sinking and you were going down with it.

james seemed to be surprised when you didn't start yelling at him or crying and begging him to stay. you watched his confusion. he looked as if he wanted to say something but he decided not to.

"alright, then." he went upstairs and packed his things. well, not really, he was already packed. you saw his black bag stuffed with his clothes under your bed about a week ago and decided not to wonder how long it was there.

when he came back down, he saw you had not moved from the spot on your sofa.

"okay, um, well. . ." he paused. "i'm going."

you nodded, your face emotionless as you stared at the wall, not sparing him a glance.

you heard him place something on the kitchen table and judging by the sound, you figured out it was his keys to this flat.

"i'm sorry, it ended like this. i wish i could change things, but i can't. i'm really sorry." he waited for your reply, but you couldn't bring yourself to, scared you'll break down. he didn't deserve to see you cry, not anymore. it surprised you that for the first time, he apologized and sounded genuine, making the situation a thousand times harder for you.

his steps faded into the hallway. the door opened, and then closed. and after that, you finally allowed yourself to let it out.

--------------------------------------------------

despite the fact this heartbreak and the break up in general wasn't unexpected and your heart has been shattered for the past few months, you couldn't bring yourself to move on, or at least try to, and the only thing you did was grieving.

you didn't think it was fair. you tried your best to save the relationship, killing yourself in the process and yet, james was the only one leaving unscathed, his heart untouched as if the love you two once shared meant nothing to him.

you could imagine him and lily doing the thing you two used to do, too. you'd bet all your money they went out to dinner every other night, probably to black dog, or they'd have a night in with all their friends.

speaking of friends, remus was the one who checked up on you the most. he showed up at your flat at least three times a week with a different big chocolate bar every time and you two would spend time talking. you opened to remus about a lot of things, but you doubted you would ever open up up the way you did to james.

"he accidentally called lily by your name, the other day." he told you one thursday evening.

"´huh? did he. . ."

"yeah. . . me, james and sirius were out and passed a floral shop. james stopped and said, "would you wait for me, lads? i gotta buy some flowers for y/n." he didn't even realise he misspoke. and then, he came out with a bouquet of peonies even though lily told him she likes daffodils."

you almost choke on your chocolate when you heard he bought peonies. they were yours favourite.

"yeah. i told him and he just nervously laughed and went back for daffodils. . . by the way he still didn't tell his parents you two aren't together anymore so whenever mia calls and asks about you, james straight up lies to her."

you frowned at the memories of his parents. you loved them and you were going to miss them so much.

"does lily know?" you asked. not that it was any of your business. you were just curious.

"yeah. it upsets her, but she doesn't really say anything about it." he paused and sadly smiled at you. "we really miss you around, y/n. even though we all like lily, everyone is pissed at james for hurting you. even sirius. he'd come to visit too, but he's afraid james could find out."

"i get he's afraid, but james hasn't got a saying in who sirius hangs out with. just as i hadn't got a saying in who james shags," you joked. but remus didn't find that funny. "tell sirius and peter i miss them too. and that they can come around anytime they want."

"will do."

silence prevailed between you two. but it wasn't awkward. it was actually pretty comfortable.

"y/n?" remus broke it.

"yeah?"

"you'll be okay, right?"

you nodded, although if you were honest, you weren't really sure.

"i will be. i have to be."

--------------------------------------------------

in that same very moment, about five miles south, in lily evans's flat, was a couple in a heated moment.

the girl's bright red lipstick was all over his face and neck, all their clothes were already long forgotten on the cold bathroom floor as lily turned on the shower, the hot drops soaking up their bodies immediately.

james's hands traveled from lily's face to her chest, then waist, and then her ass and thighs. she whimpered into his mouth and he swallowed it like a starved man.

and just then, a memory hit him hard. this has happened before. not with lily, but with you.

as james pretended not to be lost in his head while pleasuring lily with his fingers and lips, he could not stop thinking about you.

what the fuck is wrong with you? he asked himself. lily moaned his name out loud and dugged her nails into his skin. you barely think of her for whole two weeks and now you can't get her out of your mind? why now?

lily's body was shaking in the same way yours was, her head was thrown back and her mouth was wide opened with her eyes closed shut. james's mind betrayed him. he couldn't stop wishing this was you.

did you hate him? he wondered. you had to. he hated himself in that moment for what he did to you.

he wondered how you were doing. he knew remus came to visit you quite often but he never felt brave enough to ask him about you.

"james!" lily screamed as her eyes rolled back to the back of her head, snapping the boy out of his thoughts as she let her body fall into his arms.

"wow," she breathed out after a moment of silence. she glanced at james and asked, poiting at his cock, "do you want me to—"

"no," he cut her off, smiling nervously. "that's okay."

he got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before leaving the bathroom completely, leaving lily standing there utterly confused.

--------------------------------------------------

six weeks since james walked out of that door and it felt like yesterday. you still missed him the same. you still hoped that he would realize his mistake and come back crawling to you, begging for your forgivness. you still missed him even though him being around was mentally draining.

you felt him everywhere in this flat. after all, you chose it together. he was everywhere. when you came home, even when you left it. you felt him in your bed and behind you in the bathroom. you felt him in your heart, soul and bones and you couldn't get him out.

"i wanna sell this flat," you told remus. "everything reminds me of james way too much. i can't do this."

"i understand. i hard alice and frank longbottom are looking for a flat. maybe you could buy alice's. do you want her number?"

"yeah, sure."

just as you were about to call alice, your phone started ringing and his picture appeared on the screen with the name "jamie ♡". you realized you still didn't change his name.

remus saw the shocked expression on your face. "what's wrong?"

ignoring him. you took a deep breath and tapped the light green button.

"hi." you heard him say, sounding almost relieved that you didn't hang up.

"hi."

"i'm sorry," he blurted out.

you sighed. "you already said that."

"i know but i really mean it. i'm sorry for how i treated you. i'm sorry that i was unfaithful, i'm sorry i called you a lunatic when you brought lily up, even though you were completely right about everything. i'm sorry for how cold, distant and rude i was for the last months of our relationship. you didn't deserve any of it. and i'm sorry."

wow. you waited for him to say that for so long.

"i-" you were speechless. "thank you, james, for your apology, i appreciate it. you are right, i didn't deserve any of it. not when i left no stone unturned while you didn't even lift a finger." he stayed quiet, knowing well you were right. "look, james, i'll forget you one day. i'll forget all of it, all of the lies and the pain. but i could never forgive you. what you did was humiliating and cruel. i never felt more unloved and worthless. i'll never forgive you for making me feel like that about myself."

"i'm really sorry," you heard him whisper.

"right now, i could say that i wish you all the best and that i hope you and lily will live happily ever after. but i'm not a liar, not like you. i really hope it's shitty wherever you are. i really hope it's shitty in the black dog.

[mintkookiess]

It's just practice!

How about practicing confessing with your best friend? Wonder how that turns out ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ"

Hehe enjoy!

Love,

Mint

Summary: You decided to practice confessing to someone with your bestie Miles... except he's actually the one you wanted to confess to, but he didn't need to know that.

Tags: Miles Morales x reader, confessions, fluff, HUGSSS

Word count: 1.4k

"I'm sorry... what?!" Miles exclaimed with a look of horror on his face. You were both chilling by his dorm during lunch break. Ganke had classes so it was just the two of you. Your lips carried a tiny pout as you slap his leg as a way of pleading. "Come on, I just want to practice confessing to someone."

The poor boy had cheeks so red you'd think he was a strawberry. It didn't help that he had freckles. "Why do you gotta practice on me? Go talk to a wall or something." You rolled your eyes in annoyance, "Just let me talk, then tell me how it is okay? You don't even have to say anything, just listen."

Miles sighed, finally giving in. He removed his headphones, letting them sit by his neck. His brown eyes looked at you while he also had a pout that mirrored yours. "Fine."

The two of you then sat on his bed with crossed legs, facing each other. Your heart slowly started to bang against your chest, as if it wants to just jump out of your body.

I mean, who in the right fucking mind would practice confessing on someone, and that someone is the someone you actually wanted to confess to for real.

Your mind is just flabbergasted at what you’re trying to pull here. For a few seconds, there was an awkward silence between you two and you just wished he’d say something.

But stupid you told him to just shut up and listen to you “confess”, right?

So look who’s quiet now.

Your fingers were laced with each other like a braid as your thumbs mindlessly fiddled together. Miles just stared at you cautiously, waiting for you to say something, anything.

It was always never quiet between the two of you, so it’s quite unusual that neither of you were speaking.

And who’s fault is that?

This is so fucking stupid.

You swore that you’d take your feelings for Miles to the grave because you were so convinced that he was way out of your league. I mean, he was Spiderman always out there saving the city, but you were just a normal person, going through life like everybody else. Except for the fact that you’re Spiderman’s best friend.

Okay, maybe you were a bit more special than the rest.

But definitely not the smartest.

Sweat started to decorate your forehead like you just had a one hour full blown workout, your thigh slightly shaking in nervousness. You realize this though, making you slap your thigh with your hand. The loud smack made you both jolt in surprise.

“Well come on go on with it.” Miles urged, almost whined even. His face was getting redder by the minute, his almost faded freckles seemed to stand out even more that you could practically count them if you looked.

Holy shit I did not think this through.

“Okay okay um,” You started. Your eyes trailed sideways to his desk, feeling all your nerves quaking underneath your skin.

Oh my god I can’t do this.

”I actually… Have something in my mind that’s been bothering me for a while now.” You mumbled. You were trying so hard to distract yourself while looking at his desk, like counting how many colored pens were there, or how many erasers did this dude actually have.

Too many apparently.

Who the fuck needs that much erasers?!

“I— think you should be looking at the person you’re confessing to so it seems uh… genuine you know?” Miles said, trying to alleviate the awkward ass tension in the room.

You shook your head to snap yourself out of it, before staring right back at him. “Right sorry sorry.” You laughed, before running your fingers through your hair.

Let’s take this more seriously.

Besides, he’d never know… right?

You exhaled deeply, “Anyways, I… actually like you.”

“I’ve liked you for a while now, and I knew I just had to tell you just so I could get it off my chest. Moreover, I just didn’t want to ruin what we’ve got, and I didn’t wish for this to happen. But unfortunately, I’ve come to fall for you.” Your eyes stayed on his the entire time, and every sentence was like a blow on Miles’ heart. But you did say that he had to listen to this practice confession of yours.

He just couldn’t help but feel sad at the fact that you were practicing the whole confession thing and not actually being genuine about your words.

But holy fuck he wished you were directing it towards him.

His mind was getting a bit fuzzy at the thought of you saying these exact words to him. Miles has quite an active imagination, and he just suddenly sees the two of you sitting in some romantic spot like a park or a rooftop with a perfect view of the sunset.

Wait stop it Miles... You have to focus.

"—and I'm just hoping you feel the same way." You finished. You let out the breath you didn't you know you were holding as you surveyed Miles for feedback.

"So? Did that seem natural or? Was it too sappy or does it need like a joke in between or something?"

Miles stared right back at you for a hot second before snapping back to reality. "Oh... right, right yes. It was um... great yeah." He nodded mindlessly before the two of you fell back into the same awkward silence.

You groaned loudly, your head falling into your hands as you rubbed your face violently in frustration. Maybe you should just tell him? Honestly all you gotta do is say—

"It's actually not a practice." You found yourself blurting out while your hands were still covering your face. Since your voice was a bit muffled, Miles scrunched his eyebrows together at you. "What?"

You sighed, removing your hands slowly to reveal your insanely flushed cheeks which not gonna lie made Miles' heart skip a beat like some corny ass romance movie.

"It's... actually not a practice." You repeated, hanging your head low while your eyes were staring up at him, trying to gauge his reaction to your words.

Miles was a bit um... out of it from all the shit you just said and he was still trying to process that you were just practicing. So when you said those words, he gasped loudly, suddenly sitting up straight that his head bumped the bunk bed above him.

"Oh crap!" He exclaimed, placing a hand over the area that got hit as he crouched down. You jumped in surprise, taken aback by what just happened. "Miles! Oh my god are you okay?"

You were quick to place your hands on his hair, not exactly knowing what you could do in that situation, but at least you were trying, no?

"Can—Can you say that again?" He stuttered, still trying to massage his head. Miles was kinda thankful that his torso was laying on the bed so you couldn't see his face. "It um... I wasn't practicing actually, I genuinely like you Miles." You mumbled, now caressing his hair.

He slowly sat up, and you saw how there were actual tears running down his eyes, making your eyes widen in shock. "Miles?! Why are you crying! Did you hit your head that hard? Does it hurt? Are you going to have a concussion? What—"

You were interrupted though when Miles suddenly lunged at you, wrapping his arms around you tightly. "I-I like you too." He whispered. Now it was your turn to freeze, mind going blank as you try to process and see if you actually heard him right.

"You... like me too?" You whispered back, gently wrapping your arms around him as well to return the hug. You felt him nod against your shoulder, which made your breath hitch.

"He likes me too..."

Miles laughed as he pulled back. His hands went up to caress your cheeks before he rested his lips on your forehead. "Yeah, and just so you know, that wasn't a practice either."

"What?"

"Just making sure you know. Like, I wasn't practicing accepting your feelings or telling you that I like you too right? You got that, right? I mean it would be awkward if you thought I was playing along and practicing and—"

"Miles shut up I get it."

Fin.

More of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

[sunshine-singer]

Lost and Found | Mishanks x Reader

Characters: Mihawk, Shanks, Reader, and a brief mention of the Red Hair Pirates Warnings: Brief mentions of trauma but nothing in detail, fear of the ocean and ships are also briefly mentioned, reader can be gender neutral but 'sweetheart' and 'darling' are used as terms of endearment (if I've missed anything please let me know) Word count: 2.1k

You were shivering. It still felt like you were underwater, pushed by harsh hands and left to drown. How could they do that to you? Your mind is frantic with panic. You can't breathe.

You feel a hand on the side of your face, except this hand is gentle. You furrow your brow as your mind refuses to register the fact you're in different surroundings now. The hand brushes your hair away from your forehead. A gentle voice makes a shushing sound and you hear a door being opened in the background. The hand leaves your face and you barely make out the silhouette of a man getting up to leave. You grab his arm.

"Please, don't do this to me. I'm begging you. Just don't do this." You plead, voice panicked.

You still can't make out his face, the only thing that registers in your mind is a flash of red. You then fall back into exhaustion, eyes finally closing and mind at rest.

You wake again to a cold compress being placed on your forehead. It is calmer this time, and while the clutches of ill health are still nipping at your heels, it is nowhere near the panicked delirium of what was before. You register your surroundings more this time. You're on a bed, in a room with a fireplace that is currently blazing away, and old, stone walls that give a hint of the grandeur of the room. You feel the presence of a man beside you as you become more conscious of your surroundings.

You startle a little as you make eye contact with yellow eyes. They seem to stare as if dissecting you but carry an air of indifference at the same time. You wonder how the man before you pulls it off.

"What do you remember?" He asks you, tone flat and straightforward.

You're taken aback at the question. He offered you nothing to begin with. Not his name, or any information of your whereabouts. However, you seem to be in a decent position from the risk assessment you can pull together from such little knowledge of the situation.

You decide to answer truthfully.

"The sea…" You weakly respond, and then clear your throat, "I remember being in the sea and then I remember being here. There was a man with red hair, but I don't recall anything else."

He nods in acknowledgement of your words.

"As I suspected. You had a fever, which seems to have broken this morning. I advise you to rest for now, and know that you are safe here." He simply states, rising and going to leave the room.

"Wait! What's your name?" You ask, mind needing at least a small bit of information.

The stranger raises his eyebrow at you but replies nonetheless, "Dracule Mihawk."

You look over him once more and simply respond, "Thank you, Mihawk."

He nods in acknowledgement once again and takes his leave.

Turns out Mihawk was right. Your fever had gotten much better, and you were much more aware of your environment now. You currently had a mug of tea in hand, brought to you by the red-haired man who had made himself known as Shanks. He smiles warmly at you as he sits next to your bed. He's genuine, you can tell somehow. He has the sort of warmth that seems to light his whole soul. He's telling you a tale, and you're immediately taken in by his demeanour. In fact, you're genuinely humoured by the man.

"So then I told him, don't you ever threaten my friends… and then-" He tells you, cut off by a voice at the doorway.

"Yes I'm sure your stories of grandeur are impressive Red-Hair." Mihawk snarkily says, leant up against the doorway, with his arms crossed. Shanks shakes his head, albeit fondly.

"Oh come on Hawk-Eyes! You want to share some stories too?" He cheekily replies, his grin wide and eyes sparkling with mischief.

Mihawk rolls his eyes but then takes a seat next to Shanks. Shanks carries on in his cheeky manner, and gently nudges the other, head coming to settle on his shoulder. You realise then that both these men might be more. In fact, your eyes settle down to the matching rings on their respective fingers. Upon your silent revelation, Shanks' grin seems to grow impossibly wider.

"Best kept pirate secret sweetheart, don't feel like you're missing out." He tells you, giving you a wink in the process.

Your recovery was slow. It took a whole two weeks before you were well enough to leave the bed for more than a couple of hours at a time. The men you had met were nothing but patient and kind, and you had even started to warm to Mihawk's coldness. A coldness that was more stable than anything, finding comfort in the self-assured air he carried around him. No need to feel anxious when he was so upfront in his behaviour. You had spent a few evenings simply in his presence. He had left a book next to your bedside which you had finished quickly, and had then realised your bibliophile nature when you would indulge him in conversations about plot devices and character tropes. It’s in one of these sessions that your relationship with him develops into something more.

You immediately change and curl in on yourself. The air in the room changes and you can feel the infection of panic start to seep into your being. You do your best to remain calm.

"You're pirates." You simply announce, starting to shake slightly.

The pair share a look but Mihawk decides to act first.

"Yes we are," He confirms, "but I did not lie when I said you were safe here. I am a man of my word."

You feel sick. Sure, these men have shown you nothing but kindness, you couldn't deny that, but pirates? Pirates you were scared of, in fact, terrified of. You've hurt too much to let your guard down now.

"Sweetheart," Shanks starts, causing you to flinch, "it's okay."

He puts his arm up to show you he means no harm and keeps his eyes connected to yours. He carefully takes one of the blankets laid before you and adjusts it back around you.

"I… I don't trust pirates." You hesitantly tell them.

Shanks reacts with nothing but compassion.

"Then you're a smart girl." He replies, "Like good and bad men, there's good and bad pirates, and we're some of the better bunch. Sure, Mihawk here can be a little grouchy, but he's not that scary after all."

The man in question sighs a little but acquiesces nonetheless.

"You're in my home, surely that is trust enough? I could've left you there as you washed up on the shore of this island but I did not. Surely, it would be a waste to be unkind to you now?" Mihawk questions and Shanks gives him a dubious look.

You're quiet for a second, and while the shaking does not stop, you find the strength in you to reply.

"It would be, but I'm still scared." You meekly speak, and you can see in Shanks' face his heartstrings are being pulled.

"Let us help you, sweetheart." He bargains, "And we'll earn your complete trust… I'm sure of it."

You nod and the energy of the room fills with warmth once again.

Mihawk lets out another sigh, "Well Red-Hair, you do seem to collect your strays."

"Shut it Hawk Eyes." Shanks fondly responds.

You’re ranting again. Mihawk dutifully listens on while he sips from a glass of wine. A vintage no doubt, far too sophisticated for you to even fathom a guess at the year or location it was from. It’s at this random moment he smirks, and surprisingly lets out a sound that is akin to a small chuckle. You look up at him with a bewildered expression on your face which seems to make his smirk a tad wider.

“What is it?” You ask, voice reaching a quiet tone as you take in his odd behaviour.

“You are a hopeless romantic darling.” He responds as he takes in your words about the latest romance novel he managed to procure for you.

You seem to gape like a fish out of water. That was the last thing you expected to come out of his mouth. You decide not to comment, unsure of how to gauge what has happened.

Instead, you ask another question, “Aren’t there parts of all of us that are?”

“Perhaps.” Mihawk cooly replies.

The next time he leaves you a new book, a single red rose sits on top of it.

With Shanks it was different. He felt like an old friend and had a familiarity to him that instantly made you comfortable. Well, that was until he put you in an uncomfortable situation.

“Shanks, I’m not sure I can do this.” You tell him, starting at the obstacle in front of you.

His crew, the Red-Hair pirates, had arrived on the island not too long ago. Both men had told you that they were coming, with Mihawk playing up his reluctance, so you had time to mentally prepare. However, much to Shanks’ disappointment, you had hidden away in your allocated room. He was not going to allow this to happen.

“It’s this or I take you to meet my crew sweetheart.” He announces, sternly with his arm wrapped around your waist.

He had taken you to the empty Red Force. The idea was to kill two birds with one stone. See if it triggered both your memories of how you had fallen into the sea, and start to curb your fear of pirates. You look up at him, and seeing his unwavering resolve in his face, you sigh. You carefully take the steps on board and immediately dart away from the railings, into the middle of the deck.

“Woah, okay. You’re okay.” Shanks offers reassurance, “How about we sit here, hm?”

You’re shaking again, and Shanks knows it isn’t from the cold. He carefully lowers himself and sits down on the wooden flooring. He gestures and you follow, glad he’s giving you simple instructions in order not to overwhelm you.

“It’s just a boat sweetheart. Close your eyes.” He instructs you, and you vehemently shake your head.

He leans back and closes his eyes.

“C’mon it’s nice. You can hear the birds, and the waves, and feel the last remains of the sun on your face.” He states, trying to convince you still.

You consider the situation. Has he really done enough to earn your trust in the short time that you’ve known him? Is this the type of man who’d throw you overboard like the people before? With all the anxiety in your stomach, you use the adrenaline to make your body shut your eyes before you can chicken out. Shanks gives it another minute but then peeks one of his eyes open to see you’ve done what he said. He smiles to himself. You were starting to trust them.

Another week goes by and you’ve dramatically improved. The Red-Hair pirate crew had gone without Shanks, with an agreement to come back in three weeks for their captain to join them once again. You’re with both of them this time. Mihawk cooks away while Shanks does his best to distract him with both affection and joking insults. Mihawk shoos him away but you can see he doesn’t really put any malice behind it. You realise in the domestic setting that you’ve come to care for them both.

“Penny for your thoughts sweetheart?” Shanks asks you when he gets bored of bothering his counterpart, coming to take a seat next to you.

“I suppose this is the right time for me to consider leaving or to establish a time frame.” You announce, trying your best to keep the sadness from entering your voice or demeanour.

The room goes silent and it’s Mihawk who breaks it.

“If that is what you wish then you may go…” He tells you, causing Shanks to let out a noise in protest, “but we’d like you to stay. Perhaps we can figure out how we all really feel about each other?”

Shanks settles beside you at those words. He looks at you expectantly, offering you a boisterous grin.

“I fear I have a lot to handle.” You meekly admit, curling in on yourself slightly.

“We’re asking for you as you are sweetheart.” Shanks declares.

You look at him, then to the other and see nothing but truth. You nod firmly and Shanks pulls you into his side, pressing a reassuring kiss to the top of your head.

“Plus, you’re terrified of boats and pirates sweetheart, how were you planning to get off this island?”

“Shut up, Shanks.”

Tag List: @bookandstar @bokutosbiceps

[graciegoeskrazy]

she's begging you to stay stay

Matty Healy + preteen!lost!daughter!OFC!r

warnings (buckle up): angst, little fluff, language, absent father, dead mom, cancer, children's home, R IS TWELVE, foster care, insomnia, a lot of these things are mentioned but aren't in graphic detail at all. R HAS A NAME IM TRYING SOEMTHING

a/n: I got this request and was lowk kinds unsure but I just started and couldn't stop typing. im nil a lot of that I post is super short but this like literally like 7 thousand words which Ig is pretty standard but whatevs for me its crazy. I might actually hate this I genuinely haven't decided yet. anon depending on what you think im ether sorry or you're welcome lol <3

You sit on the edge of your bed, staring at the peeling wallpaper, a million thoughts racing through your mind. You feel a mix of grief and numbness, a strange emptiness you can’t quite shake. The scent of mold and old candles is an odd comfort to the starkness and uncomfort of the room around you. You hear the faint sound of Nora’s voice drifting through the thin walls. You don’t move, just keep staring at your hands in your lap, the same position you’ve held for 3 days now, pretending not to hear the voice on the other side of the wall.

“Is this Matthew Healy?” she says, her voice steady.

“Depends. Who’s this?” The voice on the other end is wary, guarded.

“This is Nora from Wess Hill Children’s Home in London. How are you today?”

She could hear shuffling on the other side. “Fine. What’s this about?”

Nora takes a deep breath, glancing at your continuing. “Mr. Healy, on Tuesday we got a call asking for an emergency placement for a girl. Her mother passed away. She’s 12 years old, name is Matilda Moss - does that ring a bell?”

If you were right next to Nora you would have felt the unamusement in his voice. “‘Fraid not, ma’am.”

Nora’s expression tightens slightly. “Interesting. What I find really interesting is that on her birth certificate, it lists you, Mr. Healy, as her biological father.”

There’s a long pause. “I’m sorry, what?”

Nora sighs, her eyes softening as she looks back at your door again. “I’m sorry you have to find out this way, truly. But I have a home that only fits 24 and a long waitlist of children, so I need to know if I need to send this child into foster care or tell her that her father will be coming to see her.”

“W-Wait a minute. How are we even sure it’s my child? There could be thousands of other white blokes in London with the same name. How can I even believe you? How do I know you’re not a scammer or some idiot trying a prank?”

Nora’s voice remains calm, but there’s still an edge. “Does the name Florence Moss mean anything to you, sir? Ring any bells?”

The line went silent.

“I need to know what it’s gonna be, sir. I’m not trying to inconvenience you either way; I just need an answer.”

You hear a long sigh on the other end. “I-I don’t…I don’t know—”

“She was sick, Matthew. Cancer.”

There’s a heavy silence. Then, Nora speaks again, her voice gentle but firm. “Her will clearly states that in the unforeseen circumstance of death, She wanted her daughter to be placed with her father, you.”

Another pause. “What’s her name again?”

“Matilda George Moss-Healy.”

“And she’s 12?”

“12 and 2 months.”

A soft exclamation, almost a whisper. “Wow. I’ll be there at 3.”

It didn’t matter what Nora could do or say or give you to make you feel better, There was nothing that could be done in order to make the past 3 days not feel like a living hell. There was nothing you, yourself, could physically do to make the permanent ache in your heart disappear. The only thing, you thought, that could make this all go away, that could make this nightmare end, was your mother. But she was gone, and there was nothing that could be done. Your heart pounds in your chest as you realize that in just a few hours, you’ll meet the man you’ve wondered about your entire life.

—-------

If there was one thought that was evidently clear in Matty’s mind, it was that he needed to call George.

His hands trembled slightly as he fumbled for his phone, the sleek device feeling unusually heavy in his grasp. He pressed it to his ear, each ring seeming slower and slower as it rung. He paced the small, cluttered room, his mind racing with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.

Finally, George’s voice crackled through the line, casual and unbothered. “Sup, dipshit.”

“I just got the strangest call,” Matty said, his voice strong, skipping over the usual pleasantries.

“‘Kay?” George’s tone was wary.

“From a woman working in a children’s home?” Matty continued, his mind still reeling from the conversation.

“What charity they want you to perform now?” George asked, his voice light but curious.

“No, it’s not that.” Matty paused, taking a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s about Flo? Florence Moss?” Matty’s voice wavered slightly, the name stirring up a flood of memories.

There was a noticeable pause, the air thick with anticipation. “Woah! That’s a name I never thought I’d hear again!” George finally replied, his tone shifting to something lighter, a huge comparison to Matty’s frantic state.

“So that’s a yes?” Matty pressed.

“You kidding? I LOVED Flo. She was like a sister to me! Shame though, innit?” He said, refurrging to the breakup Matty and Florence went through. “Anyways, what about her?” His voice softened.

“She died, George. Couple days ago. Cancer.” Matty’s words were blunt, but they carried a heavy weight.

Another long pause followed, the silence almost deafening. “You doin’ a bit? ‘Cause it’s not funny, mate-”

“It’s not a bit. And she had a child.” Matty’s voice broke slightly, the reality of the situation hitting him.

“What?” George’s shock was palpable, even through the phone.

“Who has my name on the birth certificate?” Matty continued, feeling a knot tighten in his stomach.

“You’re shittin’ me.”

“Not shittin’ you.”

George was in pure disbelief. “How can you be sure?”

Matty ran a hand through his hair, his frustration mounting. “Um, ‘cause Flo and I were together for like two fucking years and we broke up like 12 years ago and the girl’s age is 12?”

“It’s a GIRL? Oh mate, you’re fucked.” His bluntness would usually make him light, but this time it made him nearly question his entire life.

“Not the sentiment I need right now.” Matty snapped, his patience wearing thin.

“What are you gonna do?” George’s voice was calmer now, but still tinged with concern.

“I-I feel like I have to go get her? Right? Otherwise, she’s off to foster care? I mean, she’s my child. Right? I don’t know. Maybe not.” Matty’s words tumbled out in a rush, his uncertainty evident.

George sighed, a long, weary sound. “I think you’re fucked either way.”

“Oh, thanks sooooo much, Uncle George,”

“No. I mean, if you bring this girl with you, raise her, be a dad, do whatever the fuck, your life is gonna change, right? If you call that woman back, tell her to send her into foster care, although that woman might legally have to tell you ‘Okay. Thank you,’ we both know you would never forget her and maybe even end up regretting that choice.”

Matty stood in silence. He knew his friend was right. No matter what he chose, his life was about to be irrevocably changed. He took a deep breath, feeling the weight of responsibility settling heavily on his shoulders, pressing down with a relentless force.

—-------

“Hi, um, I’m looking for Nora?” His voice echoed slightly in the wide, institutional hallway.

“Ah, you must be Matthew. Nice to meet you.” Nora’s voice, though warm, had an undertone of weariness, like someone who had spent years navigating the complicated emotions of others. She shifted uneasily. “I informed Matilda of your…arrival today…and she’s not the happiest about it.”

“Meaning?”

“She won’t come out of her room.”

“Oh. Great.” Matty ran a hand through his hair, worry clear on his face.

“Just…keep in mind she’s still mourning.” Nora’s sing-song voice couldn’t hide the gravity of the situation. She led him down a narrow hallway, the walls adorned with children’s drawings and faded motivational posters. The scent of old wood, cleaning supplies, and the faintest hint of sadness hung in the air.

“Tilly! Someone’s here to see you.” Nora’s voice called out cheerfully, a futile attempt to coax you out.

“Matilda! Come on out, darling, it's alright.” She paused, listening for any sound of movement. “You know I have the key right here; I can just open it if I wanted to.” Nora said, voice comedic for the times. “Tilly, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”

After a silent few seconds, she took her ring of keys and picked one to unlock your door.

Inside your room, you sat curled up on the bed, hugging your knees to your chest. The peeling wallpaper, once probably a cheerful pattern, now seemed to close in around you, a suffocating reminder of the world outside your door. The scent of mildew and the faint smell of your mother’s perfume clung to your clothes, creating a strange, bittersweet comfort. Nora’s voice penetrated the cocoon of silence you’d wrapped yourself in.

“Tilly, this is Matthew.” Nora’s voice softened, a hint of sympathy in her words. “He’s here to take you home, my love.”

You visibly winced at the word ‘home.’ Home was a concept that had shattered the day your mother died.

Nora took a step towards your bed, slowly rubbing your back in order to coax you to come out. “Why don’t you sit up, my love?” Nora said gently. You didn’t move.

She sighed. “C’mon, Tills.”

With a heavy sigh, you slowly uncurled yourself and sat up.

Matty felt out of place, a stranger in a place that was the closest thing you had to refuge.

“I’ll just leave you two alone for a moment. I’ll be right outside.” Nora closed the door softly, leaving you and Matty in an awkward silence.

He took a tentative step closer, his eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and uncertainty. The room seemed to shrink around him as he struggled to find the right words. “I know you’ve gone through a lot in the past 48 hours,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper. The weight of his own emotions was evident, and he hesitated, unsure of how to bridge the gap between you.

You looked up at him, your eyes red from crying. The raw pain and vulnerability in your gaze made his heart ache. “You don’t have to take me with you out of…guilt,” you said, your voice trembling. “You don’t have to be here now just because you didn’t want to be here before.” The accusation hung in the air, a heavy reminder of his absence in your life.

He winced, the truth of your words cutting deep. “It’s not guilt, Matilda,” he replied, taking another step closer. “I genuinely didn’t know. If I had, things would have been different. I would have been there for you and your mother.” His voice broke slightly, the regret palpable. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m here now because I want to be. Because you deserve better than what you’ve been given.”

You studied his face, searching for any sign of dishonesty. His eyes were earnest, the sorrow in them mirroring your own grief. “Why didn’t she tell you?” you asked, the question that had been gnawing at you since you learned the truth.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the unknown. “Maybe she thought it was for the best. Maybe she was scared. I wish I had the answers, but all I can do now is be here for you.”

The silence stretched between you, filled with unspoken questions and the ghosts of what might have been. “I’ve spent my whole life wondering about you,” you finally said, your voice barely audible. “And now you’re here, and I don’t know what to think.”

He nodded, understanding the turmoil within you. “I can’t change the past, Matilda. But I can promise you this: I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe and cared for. I’ve got a house, with a nice room, food, and I think staying there would be better than the rotting twin mattress you’re sitting on in the smallest room I have ever seen that’s probably infested with black mold.”

“Everywhere in London has black mold,” you muttered, a hint of defiance in your voice.

“Mine might have less?” He offered a tentative smile. “Come home, Matilda.”

“I don’t have a home. Not anymore.” Your voice was barely a whisper, the pain of loss weighing heavily on your words.

“I’m not saying this has to be forever. If you want to leave and go live with someone else, then that’s fine by me, but if you don’t come with me tonight, they’re gonna put you in foster care with a family who more than likely won’t give a shit about you.” He paused, gauging your reaction. “She didn’t tell you that, did she?”

You shook your head, the reality of the situation sinking in. “I don’t want you to go somewhere without knowing that you’ll be safe.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He looked surprised, almost disbelieving.

You paused once more, “...Okay.”

—-------

Matty let you be for a moment as he told Nora about the news. She was overjoyed and surprised as well. They let you know that Matty would be taking you home. As they talked, your mind wandered, a turbulent mix of emotions swirling within you. You glanced around the room, noticing every detail—the worn carpet, the sagging ceiling, the chipped paint on the window sill. Everything felt surreal, as if you were trapped in a dream you couldn't wake up from.

You tried to grab his attention, your thoughts racing. You almost called out saying ‘Dad’ but stopped yourself just in time, the word feeling foreign and heavy on your tongue. The idea of calling him that seemed too intimate, too close for someone who had been a stranger just hours ago. Your mother had always been careful with her words when you asked about your father. She painted vague pictures of him, always avoiding specifics. Now that he was here, standing just a few feet away, the reality of his presence was overwhelming.

Would ‘Matty’ be awkward? He was indeed your father, but calling him that didn’t feel right either. You had no shared history, no foundation of familiarity. The name felt too casual, too friendly for someone who had suddenly appeared in your life amid the chaos and grief. You felt a pang of frustration, unsure of how to bridge the gap between you.

As you struggled with your thoughts, you offered a simple “Hey,” to get his attention instead. Your voice was soft, almost tentative, as if testing the waters of this new, uncertain relationship. He turned to you, his expression a mixture of relief and anxiety, mirroring the storm of emotions within you.

He responded with a gentle smile, his eyes searching yours for a connection. "Hey," he replied, his voice warm but cautious. In that moment, you both stood on the precipice of an unknown future, bound together by circumstance and the fragile hope that perhaps, in time, you could find your way to each other.

“I’m all ready to go, I think.”

“Awesome. I’ll get your things in the car.” He moved to gather your suitcases, his movements quick and efficient.

Nora hugged you tightly, her smile warm and genuine. “I’m happy for you, Matilda. You’ve been through a lot these past few days, and you’re doing so good.”

“Thank you for your help, Nora.” Your voice was soft, but there was a hint of gratitude in your words.

Her smile deepened as she led you from the desk to the front door. “I hope you know it comes from a good place when I say, I hope I never see you again.” The words made you laugh for the first time in three days, just a little, but it was a victory Nora cherished.

Matty muttered a few words when joining you in the car after bidding farewell to Nora. You didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at him.

“You allergic to dogs? I’ve got one. His name is Mayhem. Weird name for a dog, I know, but it suits him—not that he’ll be a problem or anything. He’s a good boy.” He tried to fill the silence, his voice almost nervous.

“Do you usually not talk this much?” You shrugged, your eyes fixed on the passing scenery.

“Only when my mom dies.” Your words were blunt, a stark reminder of the grief still fresh in your heart.

Oh, so she definitely has my humor. Matty thought to himself, a small, sad smile playing on his lips. The drive was filled with awkward silences and hesitant attempts at conversation, but beneath it all was a shared sense of loss and a fragile hope for something better.

—-------

The moonlight filters through the window, casting a soft glow over the cluttered room. You continue to scroll on your phone as you pull the worn, thin blanket back over your shoulders. A yawn crosses your features. It wasn't your plan to be up at 3 a.m., but insomnia has become a close friend since your mother passed away. It's been three weeks and four days since you moved in with Matty. He made it very clear from the beginning: if you didn’t want to live with him, that was fine. He was in full support of whatever you wanted, as long as you were safe. He was ready and willing to have the conversation with you as soon as possible. Having your mother die of cancer, meeting your father for the first time, burying your mother, adjusting to a new life you had no clue you would be living just a month ago, and so on and so forth took its toll. You started to worry that the waiting game of seeing how long this quiet could last was starting to run out.

The footsteps walking down the steps and into the kitchen pulled you out of your drowset state. It was matty, dress in blue lounge pants and shit, complete with a random flannel that you would bet he just picked up off the floor and threw on before he come downstairs,

"Good morning," he says with a yawn, his voice low but still awake, a stark comparison to your drowsiness.

"It's 3 a.m.," you reply, your voice tinged with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity.

"Yeah, it's the morning," he says, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. He holds out a steaming mug, the rich aroma of coffee wafting towards you. "Want some?"

"Sure," you say, accepting the mug and wrapping your hands around it, savoring the warmth that seeps into your skin.

You take a sip, the bitter taste jolting you awake. You look anywhere except his direction."You a musician?" you ask, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," he nods, taking a seat across from you. "You?"

"No," you reply, shaking your head. You watch him, trying to piece together the fragments of your mother’s stories with the reality in front of you.

“Do you know why my mom used to tell me I was named after my father and an ‘old friend.’"

"‘Old friend’?" he echoes, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, my middle name. Matilda came from ‘Matty’,you knew that, but where did my middle name come from?” you continue, feeling a strange sense of vulnerability.

"What's that again?" he asks, leaning forward slightly, his eyes narrowing in curiosity. Also trying to not secretly swell with love as he was reminded of your similarities.

"George. Matilda George."

"George. Your middle name is George?" He looks at you with an expression you can't quite read.

"Jeez, I know it’s a guy's name but you don’t have to be a dick about it—" you snap, feeling defensive.

"No! No! It’s not that I just…" he trails off, shaking his head. He grabs his phone out of his pocket and walks towards you. "This is George." He shows you a photo, and judging by the state of Matty’s facial hair, it’s a semi recent one. The pair are on what looks like a stage, together. Drum sticks in George’s hand, and a Guitar in your father’s.

"You know him?" you ask, your confusion deepening.

He smirked. "We’ve been best friends since we were 13. Him and your mother were friends since practically birth. He introduced us to each other." He pauses, seeing the confusion etched on your face. "She never mentioned him?"

"She never mentioned you, so," you retort, the bitterness in your voice surprising even you.

You stare into your coffee, the steam rising and swirling in the dim light. You decide to speak up, trying to change the mood hanging in the air. "She also said my father traveled the world a lot, loved his friends, and loved me, but couldn’t take care of me," you say softly, repeating the words your mother had told you countless times. "You travel a lot?"

"Something like that," he replies, his eyes distant as if he's seeing a different time and place.

—-------

Matty didn’t like leaving you for too long, so he kept to working from home as much as possible.​​ Today, he said he needed to help George with something and then he would be back with dinner from your favorite restaurant. He’s done this a few times before and each time, again and again, the urge to play the stunning grand piano situated in the corner of his office grew more. 

You kept away from it. There were even spots or rooms in the house that you kept away from. Even though you and Matty were so much more comfortable, it still felt like there were boundaries, unspoken lines you weren’t sure you could cross. His office was one of those places, a domain you didn’t feel entirely comfortable invading. The grand piano, with its polished ebony surface and ivory keys, seemed like an artifact from another world, a world that you weren’t quite a part of yet.

Today, though, was different. The house was unusually quiet, the ticking of the old grandfather clock in the hallway amplifying the stillness. You wandered through the rooms, your footsteps echoing softly on the hardwood floors. You paused by the door to Matty’s office, your hand resting on the doorknob. You glanced around, as if expecting someone to stop you, but the house remained silent.

You pushed the door open and stepped inside. The office was bathed in the warm glow of the late afternoon sun, casting long shadows across the room. The grand piano sat in the corner, almost beckoning you. You walked over to it, your fingers grazing the smooth surface. You hesitated for a moment, then gently lifted the lid.

Taking a deep breath, you sat down on the bench. The familiar scent of polished wood filled your senses, bringing back memories of when you used to play. Your fingers hovered above the keys, and then, almost instinctively, they began to move. The first notes were tentative, but as you continued, they grew more confident, filling the room with music.

You closed your eyes, letting the music take over. The melody was a blend of old memories and new emotions, a testament to the changes in your life. The piano seemed to respond to your touch, the sound resonating deep within you. You lost track of time, immersed in the music, the outside world fading away.

You didn’t notice the front door opening or the soft footsteps approaching the office. Matty stood in the doorway, watching you with a mixture of surprise and admiration. He had come home earlier than expected, and the sight of you playing the piano was both unexpected and heartwarming. He leaned against the doorframe, not wanting to interrupt this rare moment.

Once the last notes sounded, he spoke, startling you as you took your hands off the keys. “Sounds beautiful,” he said softly.

You jumped slightly, your fingers slipping off the keys. You turned to see him standing there, a gentle smile on his face.

“When did you get home?” you asked, a bit flustered.

“Just now,” he replied casually, stepping into the room.

“How long have you been standing there?” you asked, feeling a mix of embarrassment and curiosity.

“Long enough to realize you lied to me,” he said, his smile turning into a teasing grin.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“You’re a musician! You play piano.”

You paused, thinking, then continued. “Well, you lied to me too.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“You never mentioned you were in a band. A really famous one!”

His expression changed. “I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you.”

“Why?”

He took a deep breath, his expression softening. “Well, what do you say when you're meeting your 12-year-old daughter for the first time? I don’t know, but I do know it’s definitely not ‘Nice to meet you, I’m famous,’ I’ll tell you that.” You couldn’t help but smile at his honesty. “How’d you find out?” He asked.

You adjusted your posture and spoke. “I finally told my friends, and we did an internet deep dive in English class.”

He chuckled. “And I wonder why that’s the only class with a B.” He said, leaving the room as he did so.

You followed behind him, the both of you now making your way to the kitchen. “Is that why she said you traveled a lot? Because you were on those tours?” you asked, the pieces starting to fit together.

“I can only guess,” he replied, shrugging. You sat on one of the bar stools, across from where he was unpacking the groceries and starting to prepare dinner.

“Have you ever met Beyoncé?” you asked, your eyes wide with excitement.

“Only in passing,” he said nonchalantly, keeping his focus down.

You sat up in shock. “Really?!” You asked, mouth agape.

“I mean, yeah. It’s hard not to go to the Grammys and not walk past her and Jay-Z’s table.”

“You’ve been to the Grammys?” you asked, amazed.

“Yeah, we were nominated.”

You honestly couldn;t believe it. While spending that time on the internet earlier, a lot of the pieces were starting to come together. It’s just that you didn’t expect your own father - I guess I should start calling him that now - to be this huge ‘star’. “Shut up! Did you win?”

He laughed and looked you in the eyes. “Do you see a shiny gold trophy in our home? Should’ve though.” You shook your head in amazement. “How long have you been playing?” he asked, after a moment.

You became a bit quiet again, not impressed by the fact the conversation was heading this direction. “I don’t know,”

“What was it that Miss Julia said? About being open and honest with each other or something like that-”

“Ten years,” you interrupted, shooting him an unimmpressed look. He just smiled.

“Wow. How the hell did your mother get a two-year-old to stand still?” He asked.

“Well, I was an angel,” you said, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Really? What happened then?”

You rolled your eyes and let out a slightly dramatic sigh. “Those dad jokes kicked in real fast, didn’t they?”

The room seemed to grow warmer as the two of you shared this moment. The room grew quieter, but it felt different than before. It felt, comfortable. The kind of comfortable silence you only felt with your mother. Even if it wasn’t exact - even knowing you might not ever feel that exact comfortable silence ever again - this one felt nice. It felt…right.

“You know, you’re really good,” He said.

Your eyes followed back to him after his voice took you out of your own thoughts.

“Thanks,” you replied, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks after deciding to not turn the compliment into something cheeky.

“I mean it,” he continued. “You have a natural talent.”

You just hummed. And he was glad to see you smile a true smile for the first time.

The lines that once seemed so rigid began to blur. The house, with its many rooms and hidden corners, started to feel less like a maze and more like a place where you could both find and create new memories together. Life started to feel hopeful. And even if it was for just that moment, it would be nice while it lasted.

—-------

Matty paced back and forth in his living room, phone clutched tightly in his hand. The sun had barely risen, casting long shadows across the room, but the day had already brought an unsettling sense of dread.

“She’s gone,” Matty said into the phone, his voice trembling with panic.

George’s voice crackled on the other end. “Who’s gone?”

“Matilda.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?”

“She’s left,” Matty said, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “I got an alert from her school that she didn’t show up today. I looked in her room, her duffle bag was gone and some clothes were off their hangers in her closet. I think she ran away.”

“What? Okay, don’t panic. Are you sure?” George’s tone was urgent but tried to stay calm.

“Yes!” Matty’s voice rose, frustration and fear mingling. “I don’t know where she could’ve gone!”

“Okay- it’s okay. Calm down. We’ll find her.” His voice was firm, trying to ground Matty’s spiraling thoughts.

Your father heard Adam’s voice from the back. “How are we supposed to know what we’re looking for? We’ve never met the kid.”

“It’s my face, with my hair but longer, on the face of a pre-teen girl,” he said, his voice breaking slightly as he tried to scramble to find his keys. Just then, his phone rang. “I’m getting another call, hold on.”

He hung up George’s line and answered, hopeful it was an answer to getting you back on the other end.

“Hi, I’m calling from the London Police Department. I’m calling for a Matthew Healy?” a calm voice said.

“Yes, this is he.”

“Hello, sir. We’ve got a report for a runaway juvenile by the name of Matilda Moss-Healy,” the officer said, his tone professional and steady.

Matty’s stomach dropped, a cold fear gripping him. “Yes, that’s my daughter. Is she okay?”

The officer’s voice remained calm. “She’s safe. A concerned citizen noticed her alone. She’s here at the station.”

Relief flooded through Matty, making his knees weak. He let out a shaky breath. “Thank you, thank you so much. I’ll be right there.”

He hung up, immediately calling George back. “She’s at the police station. She’s safe.”

“Thank God,” George muttered. Not that Matty could see it but his face showing visible relief.

“Let’s go get her,” Ross said, already heading for the door, determination in his stride.

Adam leaned into the phone for Matty to hear him. “We’re with you, mate. We’ll come pick you up and then we can head there.”

—-------

There was a group of officers in uniform huddled near the front desk. Matty ran straight for them, his friends not far behind. His heart pounded in his chest, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. “Hi, I'm looking for my daughter, Matilda. I got a call saying she was here,” he said, the urgency in his tone barely masking the anxiety coursing through him.

One of the sergeants, a tall man with a stern but kind face, nodded and spoke. “Right this way.” His voice was steady, a professional calm that contrasted sharply with the turmoil inside Matty.

As they walked, the sergeant began to explain. “A biker a few miles away noticed a young girl using an ATM and riding the metro alone. Thought it was suspicious for a 12-year-old.” The sergeant's words were clear, but they blurred together in Matty’s mind, his focus elsewhere. He kept nodding, mumbling a simple ‘mhm’ at intervals. His mind raced with thoughts of you—how you must be feeling, what you must be thinking. All he could do was silently hope you were okay. However, he wouldn’t hesitate to punish anyone who would even try to lay a finger on you.

He unconsciously quickened his pace, causing the officer to lengthen his strides to keep up. The hallway seemed endless, the sterile scent of the station mingling with the adrenaline that coursed through his veins. Finally, the sergeant’s voice broke through his thoughts. “She’s right in there. Take all the time you need, or no time at all.”

Matty nodded, his throat tight, and the sergeant walked away, leaving him alone with his thoughts for a moment. Ross, Adam, and George appeared from behind, having finally caught up with their friend. They all stood before a large glass screen, its dark tint revealing it to be a one-way mirror. You couldn’t see them, but they could see you.

“That’s your face alright,” Adam said softly, causing Matty’s lips to twitch into a short, bittersweet smile. His eyes never left the glass, never left you.

He turned around to face his friends, his expression a mix of determination and vulnerability. “Just give us a minute, yeah?” The three nodded in understanding, sharing a look of solidarity and concern, and walked back to the front reception desk.

Matty took a deep breath, steeling himself before he entered the room. His heart ached with a mixture of hope and fear. He pushed the door open slowly, his eyes landing on you immediately. You sat there, looking small and lost in the large, sterile room, your eyes wide with a mixture of fear and curiosity.

You didn’t notice the metal door creak open. Too lost in your own anxious state of mind. “Matilda,” he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. As your eyes met his, he felt a wave of emotion crash over him, almost overwhelming in its intensity.

You bolted toward him, your shaky legs propelling you forward as fast as they could. The moment you collided with him, it rocked him back on impact. You clung to him, your small frame trembling as you buried your face in his chest, sobs wracking your body. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, one hand cradling the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your dirt-streaked hair.

He took in your state, his heart breaking at the sight. Your hair was matted slightly with grime, and you smelled of cigarettes and the harsh streets of London. But despite your disheveled appearance, you were safe. Not a scratch or mark on you. Relief washed over him, mingling with the overwhelming urge to protect you from ever feeling this kind of fear again.

“Tilly-” he began, his voice choking with emotion.

“I’m sorry,” you interrupted, your voice muffled against his chest.

“It’s okay-” he started to say, but you cut him off again.

“I’m so, so sorry.” Your sobs intensified, your words tumbling out in a desperate rush.

“Tilly, it’s okay, just calm down-” His voice was soothing, a stark contrast to the storm of emotions swirling inside him.

“I was just so scared.” Your voice was small, filled with a vulnerability that shattered his heart.

“It’s okay, baby. Breathe,” he murmured, his hand gently rubbing your back in a comforting rhythm.

“I won’t do it again! I swear! I just—”

“Matilda. Look at me.” His voice was firm yet gentle, his hands cupping your face as he tilted your head up to meet his gaze. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

You nodded, tears still streaming down your face but your breathing began to steady under his calming influence.

“Let’s go home, yeah? We’ll talk about it later, just let me take you home.” His voice was soft, filled with a promise of safety and comfort.

You nodded again, a small, broken “okay” escaping your lips. He hugged you tightly once more, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

He guided you to the front where the boys were waiting anxiously. Your head remained bowed, avoiding their concerned gazes. He gently sat you on the opposite end of the row of chairs, his touch soft and reassuring. “I’m gonna talk to my friends real quick, alright? They came with me, they wanted to help find you.” Your gaze drifted to the three men on the other side of the room. More specifically, to George, remembering the things Matty had told you about him and your mom and remembering his photo. “I also need to thank the policeman before we leave. I need you to stay here for a minute, can you do that for me?” You nodded silently. He gave you a short smile, and kissed your cheek before standing to find his friends.

As you sat there, lost in your thoughts, he turned to his friends. You were well prepared to space out again, but not before your eyes drifted to George one more time. His eyes met yours and gave them a smile. You smiled back.

“Thanks for coming, guys,” Matty said, his voice low but filled with gratitude. “I’ll get us home, we can catch the tube or grab an Uber or something.”

Ross, ever the practical one, nodded. “No problem, mate. We’re here for you. Just glad she’s okay.”

Adam’s eyes were filled with empathy as he glanced at you, then back to Matty. “Yeah, anything you need. Don’t hesitate to call.”

George, however, wasn’t ready to leave so easily. “Matty, let us at least make sure you guys get home safe. You shouldn’t have to handle this alone.”

Matty shook his head, though he appreciated the sentiment. “I know, George, but It’s fine. I swear.”

George sighed, his concern evident. “Alright, but if you need anything, call us. Anytime.”

Matty nodded. “I will.”

With that, the three men exchanged solemn glances, their concern for Matty and you clear in their eyes. They began to walk out of the police station, their footsteps echoing softly in the quiet space.

As they left, Matty turned back to you, his heart aching at the sight of your small frame hunched over, your head still hung low, anxious of what was to happen next. He walked over and sat down beside you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s get you home, okay?”

[leejeongz]

breaking up with enhypen pretty please 🎧🎀

🫧 breaking up with enhypen 🫧

pairing: exboyf!enha x gn!reader

genre: angst

warnings: made up characters that do not reflect on the members personally, dramatised situations for reader’s enjoyment, a little bit toxic (heeseung’s and sunoo’s are very toxic ngl), mentions of food (sunghoon), swearing (sunoo).

a/n: this was the first time i’ve ever cried while writing smth idk why i made jake’s hit so close to home but i hope u enjoy it after i put myself thru that HAHAH

𓆉 heeseung

“i just don’t think you should be wearing a top that shows your whole chest when my friends are around,” heeseung kissed his teeth before turning to his friends at the bar.

your friends' eyes all shifted to you, you could tell just by looking at them what they were going to say. “i’ll talk to him in the morning,” you assured, yet they didn’t look that impressed with you, knowing your track record.

the morning came and you were still upset from the night before, something that doesn’t usually happen.

more & other members under the cut

“you know, y/n, you were a real embarrassment in front of my friends last night,” the words angered you even more.

“hm no, i think i was perfectly fine,” where you’d usually apologise, you fought back, “you can’t expect me to let you speak to me like you do . i’m always trying to find the right time to be upset with you.” you were slightly disappointed by what you said, you know it wasn’t exactly what you wanted to say, but you were holding back tears, it was the best you could do.

“there’s nothing to be upset with me for,” heeseung was genuinely stunned, as if he’d always been this perfect boyfriend he convinced himself that he was.

you scoffed, sitting on the bed as heeseung stood on the other side of it. “i’m always strategizing how to bring stuff up, you’re constantly avoiding talking about things that make me feel uncomfortable and bad, sometimes i think so hard about stuff that i end up dropping it, i hate living like this.” you spoke with your head in your hands, the tears you were holding back were seeping out uncontrollably.

“you drop it because it’s nothing,” not at all taken aback by your admission, heeseung presses more.

“just get out. i don’t want this, or us, or you,” you affirm, “i deserve better.”

“course you do,” heeseung laughs before picking up his backpack, “good luck finding it.”

𓆉 jay

you lay in your bed, staring at the wall while jay played on his phone next to you, wondering how you ever ended up in this situation. you liked jay, a lot. there was no disputing that. but did you deserve to be with him?

jay shuffled next to you, he’d turned over and was going to spoon you with an arm draped over your waist when you suddenly turned over yourself and sat a little further up the bed.

“why, what’s wrong?” jay asked, wondering if he’d gone too far.

“jay,” you paused, looking to your boyfriend for reassurance as you spoke, “i don’t think im ready for a relationship, just yet.”

jay’s face dropped to a disappointed frown that he tried to hide from you. “it’s okay.” he finally sat up, he searched for permission to hold your hand, which you granted by placing it on his lap.

you focused on your interlocked hands. if someone had told you that you’d be doing this a few months ago, you’d never have believed it.

“you’re everything i could’ve asked for and more, y/n,” jay looks to your hands too and wraps his other hand around them. “i’ll wait for you no matter what, okay?”

you know jay doesn’t want to break up, but you can’t keep leading him on like this. “i can’t even love myself, how am i supposed to know how to love you?” you blurt out in a flood of tears. “you’re so so perfect, jay, i want you to find better, please, jay.” your eyes are pleading into his, as if this is the only thing that will ever make you happy.

“y/n, you’re my everything.” he tuts and tilts his head, “but i think, if this is what you want, then let’s put on the breaks for a bit.” you gave jay a guilty smile. “don’t be like that, y/n, it was pretty exhausting for me too,” jay laughed, hoping you’d take it as a joke but really hiding some truth.

𓆉 jake

you sat in jake’s car, the silent journey to the airport still replaying in your mind as you put off getting out. you wanted to be with him forever, but you knew the minute you stepped out of the car, you would be all alone, without jake, so you stayed for as long as you could. you looked at yourself in the small mirror of the sunshield, your eyes welling up as you noticed your boyfriend in your peripheral vision.

“y/n, you okay, darling?” jake peered his head around.

“no,” you cried out, “ i already miss you, and i’m not even gone.”

jake laughed a little before wrapping you in his arms, kissing the crown of your head.

“i hate that i’m not going to see you tomorrow, or the day after, or even the day after that,” you pulled away from his hug to wipe your tears, “i hate that we can’t be together all the time, and i hate that we had to end things like this.”

jake took a long inhale. his eyes stumbled around his car, avoiding focusing on anything for too long because he knew he’d cry. he didn’t want you to see him cry, not today.

“me too, angel. me too.” jake’s eyes welled up as he admired you in person for one last time.

you took a deep breath, the tears blurring your vision as you wrapped your fingers around the door handle and opened it slowly. you took one last look at jake, he managed to take your face into his hands and wipe your tears as you smiled at him.

“don’t be a stranger, hey?” jake tilted his head to the side, “call me whenever you need, i’m still your bestest friend, my love.”

you took the opportunity to kiss him on the cheek, you regretted it so much. he looked away as you slipped out of the car and got your suitcase from the trunk. you turned to wave at the boy you’d loved for a very long time, only to see him, absolutely destroyed, leaning over his steering wheel.

𓆉 sunghoon

you always knew sunghoon to be an honest person and vocal when he needed to be. you never wanted him to feel like he couldn’t be. but you couldn’t help but feel that something was missing.

“how about this weekend?” you asked, twirling the pasta around your fork. “we could book a hotel by sea and just relax,” and rekindle the flame that died, you thought, but didn’t dare say aloud.

“this weekend?” you nod, “i’m working, sorry.” he didn’t make eye contact as he spoke, instead staring directly at his plate.

you stabbed a chunk of mushroom loudly, catching his attention, “working…” he hummed in response, the tone of which elicited a scoff from you. “you’re always working, everytime i suggest we do something together, you’re conveniently working, do you even love me anymore sunghoon?”

sunghoon stayed completely silent, staring back down at his food.

“sunghoon?”

still, nothing.

you slammed the fork down onto the table and stood, pushing the chair back with a horrible screech. you focused on the boy for a while. how could you break up with him and let him win? when he didn’t even have the decency to speak? but you knew it would hurt you more if you didn’t say “then i guess it’s over.”

“i guess,” sunghoon finally spoke. he seemed unbothered, maybe even a little happy that someone finally said it. “should i go now or?”

you stared him down, he placed the fork down gingerly and left your apartment sharpish, leaving you to overthink everything about the past few months.

𓆉 sunoo

“so let me get this straight,” sunoo laughed as clapped his hands together twice, a little too sassily for your liking. “you’re mad at me because im being nice to my fans?”

“fan, singular, not plural, sunoo,” you clarified.

“so what, we have matching phone cases? you said you didn’t wanna do that, anyway.”

“i didn’t mean go and get them with someone else,” you scoffed and rolled your eyes at his facetiousness, “and it’s not just that. it’s weird enough that you found their social media and trusted them enough with your private accounts when i wasn’t even allowed to follow them for months, but going out with them and buying them gifts, that’s a bit too far.”

“it’s called a parasocial relationship,” he completely dismissed your concerns, “how can you be in a relationship with an idol if you can’t even respect that i have fans?”

you furrowed your brows in confusion, “do the other members do this? how about i call jungwon up, ask what he thinks, hm?”

sunoo soon became very quiet, he knows that this is more than an idol x fan relationship, he knows the others disapprove of it just as much as you do, he knows that this is wrong. he noticed that you’d caught on and once again searched for any kind of defence he could reach.

“you’re overreacting, and if you’re gonna be like this, then we’re done, y/n,” he suddenly blurts out, slipping his phone out of his pocket to text you know who about your argument immediately.

“yeah, no shit we’re breaking up,” you double down on sunoo’s words, wishing you could’ve said them first, “you’re a nasty piece of work, i wish them the best of luck for having to deal with you.”

for weeks after, you couldn’t help but regret your final words to sunoo. you debated on sending him an apology, but decided against it when you saw fans coming to defend you once the news had been released.

𓆉 jungwon

as you entered jungwon’s room, you could tell by the dishevelled look on his face, he knew exactly why you were here. you sat on the edge of his bed, one leg folded under you, the other dangling, your foot barely touching the floor. jungwon sat cross legged, his back against the single pillow propped up by his headboard.

“so,” he started, forcing a smile. “how have you been?”

“good,” you smiled back at him shyly, not because you felt shy as such, but because you knew what you were about to do was going to hurt him. “jungwon, i think we should break up.” you gave him time to digest your words before continuing. “i love you, but that’s not enough, for me, right now.” you purse your lips in hopes that you wouldn’t cry, “because you hurt me. and i can’t trust you, as hard as i try, i just can’t,” you ramble.

“it’s okay, y/n,” jungwon nodded in agreement, “i’m just sorry i couldn’t be the boyfriend you deserve.” you noticed jungwon had reached into the drawer of his bedside cabinet, following his hands which carried a cardboard box. “i was going to give this to you for your birthday, but i want you to have it now.”

you opened it, revealing a childlike friendship bracelet in your favourite colours, the black and white letter cubes spelling out “all my love.”

“i’m not giving it to you to make you feel guilty. i want you to have it because i want you to always remember that you’re loved.” his hands closed it into yours, “i've learnt so much from you.”

you couldn’t help but scoff at his final comment, it was a bit of a joke to you that he had to learn not to cheat on people that he loved, but you were hopeful that he would never do it to anyone else ever again. you left him with a half genuine smile and a tiny thank you.

“i’ll bring your stuff later this week,” he said, drawing your attention back to him, “can i?”

𓆉 niki

“i can give you more space,” niki pleaded, just saying whatever came to his head without giving it too much logical thought.

“i don’t need space,” you stood from the couch, your hands finding your head in frustration, “are you not listening to me? i’m sick of having to look after you, can you not do anything for yourself?” you snapped.

niki wasn’t able to respond. he remembered, just earlier that day, you’d had to remind him of the dentist appointment you’d made for him. “isn’t that too far?” he sulked, his eyes swollen and sunken even though he hadn’t cried.

all rationality was lost, “not when it’s true,” you scoffed at the boy, who seemed like he was finally accepting some fault. “don’t you feel ashamed?” you pushed, until niki looked as if he’d reach boiling point.

“if you’re going to treat me like a child i might as well act like one, y/n,” niki stands too, he towers over you, but you insist in your mind that you can stand your ground. “you constantly embarrass me in front of people, “i had to make him an appointment” “i had to cook his dinner for him,”” he mimics, “i can do those things just fine, y/n, but you love doing them just to have one up on me, don’t you?”

you squint, you didn’t realise that’s what you were doing, but it was probably true. “well, you’ll be fine doing all those things when i’m gone,” niki’s face drops, yours follows as the weight of the words hit you like a truck, but you know it’s not working. “i’m gonna go now, i’ll get my stuff tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

niki nods, a small smile on his face that’s just begging to remain civil with you after all of this is over.

[kikyoupdates]

Goddess Wink ⭑˚💘⭑ 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑

bnha x f!reader

reverse harem, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

Ever since your Quirk first manifested, you’ve been the apple of everyone’s eye. With the goal of becoming a hero, you enroll to U.A. and soon find yourself drawing the attention of many. Will you form genuine connections with others, or is this all just your power's will?

previous | story masterlist | next

Mikael brought you to what could only have been described as a castle. It was the biggest residence you’d ever seen in your life, and it could easily accommodate all of the children from the orphanage, with ample room for others.

You stared up at the manor, bewildered. “Are you rich?”

“I suppose you could say that,” he laughed. “There are other attendants that live here as well, so we won’t have this big place all to ourselves.”

“Wow…”

You were used to sharing your room with countless other children, but here no doubt you’d be able to have a room all to yourself. Mikael himself was a rather mysterious man, and he hadn’t explained anything to you yet, but you were starting to feel optimistic about the whole situation. He led you inside, where a woman with her hair tied up into a neat bun was waiting in the lobby. Based on her attire, she looked to be a maid. One of the attendants that Mikael had mentioned, then.

“It’s very nice to meet you, [Name].” The woman bowed her head before you. She had honey-gold hair and violet eyes, and a thick accent that you couldn’t quite place. “My name is Freja. I will be helping take care of you while you’re here.”

“You speak funny,” you remarked.

Freja cracked a smile. “My apologies, miss. I am of Danish descent. Japanese isn’t my first language, but I hope that I speak it well enough that you are still able to understand me.”

“Danish?”

“I go on many travels,” Mikael explained. “I met Freja during one of my travels to Denmark. Now, let me give you a tour of the place and get you settled in. I’ll explain the rest afterwards.”

He grabbed you by the hand and led you through the rest of the mansion. It was even bigger on the inside than how it appeared from the outside. You caught glimpses of the other attendants, but you didn’t stop to chat with them while you were going through the tour. Mikael assured you that you would have a chance to meet everyone properly later. There were more rooms than you could count, and more bathrooms than anyone could ever need, but Mikael explained to you that all of the attendants had their own room, and thus, much of the mansion was actually in use. There were paintings all over the walls and other sculptures and ornamental decorations that looked more expensive than you could possibly comprehend.

Finally, he showed you to your room.

“Amazing!” you exclaimed, immediately bouncing onto the plush bed. “It’s so big!”

It was one of the biggest rooms in the entire place and decorated with your favorite colors. You wondered how he could have possibly known. You were feeling a bit tired from the tour, and now that you’d made it to your room, it’d be nice if he could answer some of your questions.

“Who is Aphrodite?” you asked, clutching a pillow to your chest. Mikael went still for a moment, then smiled, taking a seat by the edge of your bed.

“She is one of the twelve gods of Mount Olympus; one of the most important and revered gods in all of ancient Greece.”

“Greece is a country in Europe.”

“You are correct.”

“But ancient Greece,” you frowned. “That would’ve been a long time ago, no? Why did you call me a descendant of this Aphrodite, then?”

Mikael placed a finger on the tip of your nose. “It’s because of the nature of your Quirk. Your powers emulate those of the goddess Aphrodite herself. Your ability to charm others and create feelings of love, I mean.”

“But that’s just my Quirk,” you protested, pushing his finger away. “What do I have to do with those gods? I don’t get it. And why did you say my powers wouldn’t work on you?”

“I suppose it would be difficult to explain everything all at once, but your powers, essentially, have to do with making others have a feeling of love towards you. It revolves primarily around romantic attraction, but that being said, it isn’t limited to romantic attraction. For instance, you found that at times, your powers worked on the caretakers from the orphanage too, right?” he asked. When you nodded your head, he smiled. “Yes, well, seeing as you are only a child, the feelings they had towards you couldn’t have been romantic attraction. It is possible that people will be swayed by your Quirk even if what they are feeling is platonic love, or familial love. Basically, your powers allow you to endear yourself to others, so that they value you and care for you. Or at the very least, they create an illusion of those feelings for a lasting period of time.”

You frowned. “This is starting to sound really complicated.”

“I’m sorry. You’re still very young. As it stands, you probably still haven’t quite grasped the concept of love to begin with.”

“So why did you think I had something to do with Aphrodite?”

“Yes, yes,” Mikael nodded, “I’m glad you’re so perceptive. The thing is, you and I actually have a great deal in common. You see, we are both related to Greek Gods. You, of course, have a much stronger association, since you are a direct descendant of one of the twelve Olympians, but I too am a descendant of the gods.”

“What?” you gaped. “Really?”

“Yes, really. That was how I was able to find where you were in the first place. Once your Quirk had manifested, I felt a strong presence shake me. I was guided by what I can only describe as a vivid supernatural force, until I finally found where you were. This is because of our shared connection to the gods.”

You squeezed your pillow, bouncing up and down on the mattress. “That’s so cool,” you marveled. “Hey, that’s really cool, right? That we’re related to the gods? Hey—which god are you related to?”

“I am a descendant of Eros, who was in fact Aphrodite’s son.”

“So I’m your mom? Even though you’re older than me?”

Mikael chuckled. “No, we are only their descendants, but we share a strong connection as a result. The gods have many descendants, as a matter of fact, but often they have no powers to speak of and appear to be mere mortals. Your Quirk reflects your ancestry, but I don’t have any powers that relate to my god.”

“What’s your Quirk then, Mikael?”

“Me?” He smiled at you for a few moments, then gently patted your head. “I don’t have a Quirk. I never developed one. As for how exactly I know I’m related to the gods, it may be hard for you to understand, but it’s a deep, spiritual feeling. One day, I just knew.”

Quirkless…

You’d heard stories back in the orphanage, but you’d never actually met anyone without a Quirk. There were children younger than you who still didn’t have one, but as a rule, all Quirks developed by the age of four. You’d gotten yours then, the older children all had theirs, and so did the adults. You wondered what it would be like, to live your entire life without a power to call your own.

“Even though I don’t have a Quirk,” Mikael went on, “the reason I am so confident yours won’t affect me is because of our shared ancestry. I too am related to a god of love, which is why your powers won’t be able to affect me the way they would others.”

“Oh.” You breathed a small sigh of relief. “That’s good, then. To be honest, it’s really hard for me to control my powers. Ever since I got it, people follow me around and tell me they love me nonstop. I don’t know how to turn it off, and it sometimes feels like I’m just tricking people into doing things for me…”

He ran his fingers through your hair and shook his head. “That’s not the case at all. Your powers are just so strong. People are instinctively drawn to you, but with training, you can learn to regulate and control your Quirk. At first glance, it may seem like a good thing to have so many fawning over you, but unadulterated love can turn to obsession, and in some cases, it may harm you rather than help you.”

“I can learn to control it?”

“Yes, of course. I will help you get used to your powers.”

You felt your chest bubbling with warmth. If what Mikael was saying was the truth, and he really wasn’t affected by your powers, then he was helping you because he wanted to, not because he felt like he had to. There was someone who was willing to care for you, and not just because of your Quirk. It was the first time you’d felt such relief in months.

“Thank you, Mikael.” You hobbled across the bed on your knees, wrapping your little arms around his torso. “I’ll do my best to get better at using my Quirk. I’ll do my best, so promise you won’t leave me like my parents did, okay?”

You felt his chest rumble with gentle laughter. “Of course I won’t. You’re here to stay for good. We’ll take care of you, [Name].”

Character overview: 

Name: [Last Name] [Name]

Age: 15/16 years old

Likes: cute things, memes, fashion, sweets, hanging out with friends, flirting

Dislikes: Ares, responsibility, shallow people

Quirk: Aphrodite

The user’s Quirk charms those around them. Targets who have been “charmed” may find themselves under the user’s influence, and/or weakened to some degree. The amount of control the user has depends on the level of attraction the target experiences. Powers are most effective when physically touching the target. The user may use their powers to temporarily immobilize their target, have them experience psychological pain, or even manipulate them into performing certain actions.

Overuse of Quirk can result in sudden energy loss, headaches, and temporary numbness in limbs.

Stats:

Power: 2/5 D

Speed: 4/5 B

Intelligence: 4/5 B

Cooperation: 5/5 A

Technique: 6/5 S

Household/relationships: 

♡ Mikael: 

[Name]'s primary caretaker. He is both an artist and an art dealer. A descendant of the Greek God of love, Eros. Is whimsical and can be overly idealistic at times, but is a very kind and patient man. Cares for [Name] a great deal, and is addicted to chocolate.

♡ Freja: 

One of the attendants in Mikael's manor. After meeting Mikael during one of his visits to Denmark, she moved to Japan to start working for him. Is not descended from any of the gods. Considers [Name] to be like a child of her own. Dislikes having to clean up Mikael's art supplies.

♡ Rui: 

Another one of the attendants who begins working at Mikael's manor once [Name] starts attending U.A. Attends college part-time, and enjoys playing pranks on other members of the household. Is not descended from any of the gods. Likes scouring the net for memes with [Name] and having her model cute outfits. 

♡ Ares: 

???

More chapters are available on Quotev or Wattpad!

⊱.⋅follow + post notifications on for story update announcements or join the author's discord!⋅.⊰

💞 main masterlist ♡ oneshot masterlist

[ranposbabe]

Infidel | Johan Liebert x Reader

Chapter 23

Guilt can wash over someone strongly like a wave crashes over a rock. Yours just happens to be closed off like those ornaments of a ship inside a bottle.

Except of it being intact it’s a shipwreck in a perfectly still bottle. You wonder if it will ever crack.

“She simply walked into the water and never came back out.” Mr Fox spoke with his rather husky voice that sometimes was hard to understand.

“It’s not uncommon for prostitutes to kill themselves it’s just simply reacurring over time.”

“I’m not upset about her killing herself.” You shake your head, continuing to stare out upon the dark water.

What even was her name ? Bella or Stella ? You’ve come all this way from your apartment to a beach who knows how many miles away and for what ?

You’d rather sit within the moldy walls at this stage.

Mr Fox was a man who worked alongside your father for many years. As of late you hadn’t seen the man. As a matter of fact you never even seen him drinking in the pub let alone alongside those drunks.

You knew he was no issue when it came to who to partially blame for your father recently being the man that he is.

But you weren’t sure why your father gave him the nickname Fox. Perhaps he was sly as a Fox but those words were only slurred by your father whenever he drank.

You never took his word sober so why would you then.

“I’m irritated because I didn’t see this coming.” You kick a pebble as if you were a child throwing a tantrum. “This is just evidence.” You hold back the urge to groan. If you weren’t wearing a cast your fist would’ve been clenched.

“I’ve lost my focus.” You roll your eyes, only now truly seeing the somewhat bigger picture.

“Was there any focus to begin with ?” Like your father he’d say these idiotic rhetorical questions to give the appearance of having the upper hand. You weren’t falling for it. “You’re uncomfortable. But then I suppose when are you not ?” A sincere yet tired smile was briefly evident on his face.

“I’ve been confiding in others as of late.” You slightly gave in. “One of these others has stood out to me.” You spoke quietly, no longer daring to keep your head up.

“You know about the fire of the shed, yes ?” You ask, already knowing the answer. His slight nod confirms your assumption. “It’s been on my mind as of late.”

You did feel somewhat bad about the fact that you completely forgot that the man even existed. You didn’t even know the mans real name. You never asked. Not out of awkwardness but rather out of lack of care. You doubted you would even interact much to even say his name thankfully.

“I’m not really interested as to why he’s mentioned in the file but rather the illusion as to how could he be ?”

“Who is it ?” “I’d rather not say.” You spoke for once much hastily. “Why ? Are you protecting him ?” He raised a brow. He wasn’t genuinely curious. He was just seemingly amused by the distant look in your eyes. Mr Fox could tell just by a single glance at your glossed over eyes that who ever you were currently thinking over was a constant thought in your mind. Perhaps maybe even if you yourself were unaware of it. If he guessed right now he’d say you were thinking of a young man that thoughts were also filled of you.

“No.” You want to stop yourself from speaking. You never want to speak again. It’s still far too early. What time is it ?

“I just get the sudden sense that saying his name out loud would be wrong.”

You’ve spoken too much.

“Have you ever said his name aloud to others ?”

It was obvious now. You simply mix up guilt and annoyance. “Drive me home.” You sigh, waking off as you were no longer amused by the splashing and chaotic waves. After all, it was no stream.

“I’m going back to bed.”

If you wish to be added to the taglist please comment below to let me know!!!

TAGLIST: @nimuelis @meigalahadovna @sugaredpersimmon @thesimpupthesky @sarcastic-cookie

[instexcamera]

omg hiiiiii

how are youuuuu

can i request a piece with a soft dom mayoi and almost a ‘bratty’ sub reader who’s afab with gn pronouns? :0

also i have a thing for his hands and his teeth so… hehe. and maybe subtle corruption kink?

Mayoi, my favorite to write

SoftDom!Mayoi x Sub!Reader

Warnings: Marking/biting, brat reader, corruption kink, fingering

Authors Note: aaa I hope you like it! I had a lot of fun writing this one tbh, I really love Mayoi he's so jehe

18+ under cut

Having Mayoi dote on you sometimes became a little too much. He would follow you around, either in sight or in the ceiling and walls. He would leave you notes in areas you'd easily find them, either recommending a new way to do something or praising your work. Mayoi was also big on gift giving, leaving them at your office when you left for a moment, they were all something homemade too. A diorama or some sweets he'd made, you always appreciated them, they looked as if they took time.

You didn't know why he had taken this strange affinity towards you. Maybe it's because you produce for his group, other than that you see no reason on why he would. Not that you were complaining about his attention of course, it was nice to have one of the cute idols show attraction to you. You also knew Mayoi had a tendency to do strange activities like this, from what you've seen, him doing this means he wishes to protect you in his own little way. Shinobu Shingoku, Mayoi's cheiftian, got the same amount of attention from what you had heard, however he didn't leave him personal handwritten notes like yours.

However, you hadn't expected his attraction for you to actually be something genuine. So when he had managed to stutter out a confession, when you were working you accepted after a minute of shocked silence.

------------------------------------------------

A few months later when you working with Mayoi, you found yourself staring at his face. Or more accurately his lips and thinking about his teeth. Mayoi's teeth were sharp, longer than average and pointed at the ends, like a sharks. You had heard many people point them out, saying there abnormal, unusual, or weird. Mayoi would always shrink back when he heard those comments, walking the other way to get to a secret passage or vent he could use to walk in instead. You didn't think his teeth were weird, you found them quite interesting, cute even, Mayoi's smiles were always cute when he allowed them. You were wondering what they feel like biting into you, on your neck, chest, thighs, anywhere he could mark. Everyone would be able to tell who did it too, his teeth are so different it wouldn't be hard.

"Um, my love? Are you ok? Am I upsetting you by being here? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can leave!" The phantom's eyes dart every which way, looking for a way to hurriedly escape if you did want him to leave. "No, Mayoi you're fine, I was just, ah, thinking of your teeth. And uh, how I want you to bite me." He looks startled, not many people compliment his teeth, he slowly walks from where he is closer to you, sitting on the bed beside you. His close proximity to you is almost too much, you hadn't expected him to move. "My teeth? But there so weird and unusual, something no pure being like yourself should want to be bitten by fufufu."

You could feel your skin starting to grow hot, Mayoi wasn't usually this bold, normally when you complimented him, he started denying it. Feeling the bed dip in as he slide closer, you looked away, not able to look him in the eyes. Where was this bold Mayoi coming from? Not that it was terrible, it was a welcome change, just unusual. Feeling a trembling hand come up and move your face towards him, forcing you to stare right into his eyes. You could tell he was still anxious even if he acted like he wasn't, the lust in his eyes doing nothing to hide the small tremors of fear that lay beneath.

Yet his lips still meet yours, there cracked and dry, not very soft but kissing him was always pleasant. The kiss ends abruptly, you wanted to protest but didn't want to seem too needy, the idea of teasing him was a thought in the back your mind, not that you had before. But you hadn't teased him with anything sexual yet, maybe today would change that. You focus back on Mayoi, a studying expression on his face, as if he expected you to whine out at the loss of the kiss. You weren't going to give him that satisfaction now since the thought of teasing him came to mind.

To your surpise his hands quickly grab you around the waist, man handling you to turn you around, pulling you closer to him. The phantom was just full of surprises today, his sudden boldness making you wetter than you'd like. It's the first time you and him had gotten this far, he would always start rapidly apologizing to you at this point any other time. Today would actually be the first time you and him did something sexual unless he stopped, the prospect causing your thighs to rub together.

That didn't go unnoticed by Mayoi, a hand moved from your waist down towards the waistband of your pants. Pulling the band back and letting it snap back on your skin, the feeling causing you to shift a little. "My angel, are you enjoying this? The expression you have on seems to indicate so, do you like having an unclean being like me touch you like this?" A gasp catches in your throat, if you weren't wet already you were now. But you wouldn't let him get away with teasing you like this. "No, you'll have to try harder than this, it's barely anything."

Mayoi only hums in response, his other hand sliding up your body until it reaches your neck. Pulling it to the side gently so he could have better access to your neck, his warm breath closer than before. The hand on your waistband runs up your body, slowly stopping to trace over your right nipple through your shirt. Once he feels you flinch at the sensation he starts nipping at your neck, using his hand on your nipple to start pinching at it, trying to get it to harden.

Having never done anything like this before you're incredibly sensitive, having to hold back whimpers. Mayoi stops focusing on your neck for a moment, wanting to see if he could get you to admit you liked it. "That felt good didn't it? I felt your body twitch." Shaking your head, a small "no" leaving your lips, god, you were failing miserably at trying to tease him, the new sensations he's giving you, causing you to go weak. "No? Then open up love."

His hand gives one final squeeze to your hard nipple before continuing up, his index and middle finger pushing against your lips. You comply much to his amusement, his head rests on your shoulder, watching himself as he slides his fingers into your mouth. You when always thought Mayoi's hands were pretty, they were long and slender and he was good with them, working on exquisite dioramas. You wondered if you'd finally get to learn just how good he could use them today.

His voice right beside your ear made you jump "Go on now, suck them, get them all nice and wet, you'll need too fufufu." You didn't comply, letting your jaw stay slack around them. You hear Mayoi let out a sigh, as he starts to press his fingers down on your tongue, causing you to gag. He immediately stops, and instead tries to gather as much spit that was in your mouth as he can on his fingers. A few moments pass, the feeling of him fucking his fingers into your mouth causing your jaw to hurt some.

A small hum of approval leaves him when he deems his fingers wet enough as he slides them out of your mouth, back down your chest towards your pants. "This is your first time doing something like this right? Oh how disgusting your first time experiencing this is with someone as lowly as me!" His hand slips under your pants the same moment he bites, hard, into your neck.

The feeling of his sharp teeth digging into your skin, conbined with the way he was slowly pushing in a finger causing a moan to rip out of you. You could feel Mayoi grin into your neck, no doubt overjoyed he finally got the reaction he wanted out of you. So long for how you wanted to tease him when on your first time you can't even manage it, falling victim to his touches. Mayoi let's go, kissing along your neck, biting into the spots you shiver at when he kisses over them. His finger trying to slowly work it's way into your tight hole. The feeling is a lot for your first time even if he was just using a single finger.

He crooks his finger up as his kisses trail across your neck to your back, biting into the skin there. Your noises rise in volume, not going unnoticed by Mayoi, "Do you like it now? You certainly seem like you are, the way your body just melts into my touch." Shaking your head no again, fearing whimpers and whines would fall out your mouth instead of words if you opened it.

"Really? Guess I'll just have to try harder then." The phantom slides his other finger in, meeting his other as he crooks them up, making a beckoning gesture inside you. His thumb reaches to press on your nub. The pleasure causing your back to arch deliciously and he takes the chance to go back to marking up your neck.

It doesn't take long for your orgasm to hit you, this being your first time making you all the more sensitive. Your eyes roll back as your hips jolt forward riding Mayoi's fingers. When you come down from your high, Mayoi's stopped nipping at your neck as he slides his fingers out of you. He brings his fingers covered in your juices up to his mouth as he licks them clean, a small nod of approval as he finishes.

"You have to admit you liked that, your body had the cutest reactions! And you don't have to worry about me, I already, um, finished." Your body is still somewhat shaky but you're able to speak out, "Yea, I enjoyed it, thank you Mayoi."

------------------------------------------------

The next day, as you stand in front of the mirror looking over your body, only your neck and back were marked up. The most noticeable parts too, they were hard to cover up. Yet you couldn't deny the small temor of delight at the fact anyone could see the marks and know that Mayoi left them there on you. After all, his teeth marks were easy to identify.

[cute-bag-of-bones]

Can't Trust A Supe

Part 11: Blush

Masterlist

Warning: Creepy obsessive behavior, Brainwashing.

         A day or two passed, honestly I wasn't sure how long it had been. Homelander wouldn't let me leave this God damn room. I had to beg to use the restroom and shower, even when he'd let me he wouldn't let the door be fully closed. It was all tactics to humiliate and exhaust me. He didn't need to keep the door open, he could see through walls. I knew what he was doing. I just wasn't sure how to stop it.

        He would bring my food to me himself, some days he'd try to feed me. He was trying to make me associate him with my needs being met. It was admittedly clever but still cruel. 

        He got a wheelchair for me but it was only used inside my own room. He wouldn't let me use it anywhere else. 

        The worst of it all by far was some mornings I'd wake up to him in my room, he'd be watching me or stroking my arm. This morning I woke up to him playing with my hair.

        "Get off me." I groaned out as I rolled over to face him. He had a satisfied grin on his face as he grabbed a new piece of hair to play with. He twirled it around his finger and stroked the lock of hair with his thumb. 

          "Good morning to you too." He taunted. I sat up and pulled my hair from his hand. 

         "Can we not do this, this morning? My ankle is killing me." I say as I rub the sleep from my eyes. He pursed his lips a little bit and tutted.

       "That's no good. Let me take a look."

       "No, it's fine!" I quickly tried to pull my leg away from his reach but he grabbed it and pulled it back only causing me more pain. 

       "Hmm it looks like it's healing. But you probably can see that yourself can't you." He said with a fake smile. Do you want me to get you some medicine?"

       "No, it's fine." I didn't need to be out of it around him. I needed to stay sharp. 

       "Aw you were just being a big fucking cry baby right?" He asked as he covered my leg back up. I nod not wanting to start a fight. 

        "Can I just go back to sleep?" He never let me get more than 5 hours of sleep a night. 

         "If you do that you can't have your special birthday pancakes." 

        "What? Who's birthday is it?" He looked at me and frowned a bit. 

        "Yours of course the big 1-8. My little baby has grown up so fast." He grabs the back of my head and pulls it to him so he can kiss my forehead before getting up. It couldn't be my birthday. It's not December yet. How have I been here for two months already? How could I lose so much time?

        Homelander brings in a tray full of blueberry pancakes with writing made of icing that says happy birthday. I shake my head quickly as I look at him. 

        "It's not December. You're fucking with me!" I yell as I scoot away from him. He grabs my unbroken ankle and pulls me back to the center of the bed. He looks confused. 

        "It's been December for a few days. It's your birthday. Why are you freaking out?" He seemed genuine in his questioning.

         "Show me! Show me your phone!" I screamed at him. He lets go of my ankle and pulls out his American flag covered phone and shows me the lock screen. He had a picture of himself as his lock screen. Of course he did, the date was my birthday. He wasn't lying, this wasn't a trick. How did I lose so much time? I thought I'd only been here for a week or 2 at most. 

         He bit the end of his glove to slip it off and put his hand to my forehead as I stared up at him in disbelief. His glove hung from his teeth as he looked at me confused. He almost looked worried. He put down his phone and took his glove out of his mouth. 

         "What's wrong? You don't have a fever I don't think. Do you want your pancakes or not?" He asks as he removes his hand from my forehead. He looked at me with a skeptical eye for a second. He was wondering if this was an act. 

        "Nothing, it's fine." I realized it wasn't a good idea to let my captor know I was losing time. He put the tray on my lap and started to cut my pancakes for me. 

         "I'm throwing you a birthday party. It's being held right here in the tower. All of the 7 is going to be there. Even Deep's annoying replacement. Do you think you can behave yourself? I don't have to remind you what will happen if you embarrass me tonight right?" He gave me a stern look as he held the full fork to my lips. I nod and open my mouth. He was getting really good at making these damn pancakes. 

          "I'm going to get to leave this room?" I ask in between bites.

           "Yep and if you make me regret it I'll make sure you never see the sky again." He says as he takes a napkin and cleans a bit of icing from my top lip. I nod telling him I understood. At this point I didn't even have any plan to escape. I was just happy to leave the room. 

         Once breakfast was finished he looked at me like he wanted to tell me something, it wasn't a normal look from him so it made me worried. "You know, I have some friends I want you to meet but I need to know I can trust you. One of them is so important to me. What if after the party I take you to see them? You might have even heard about one of them." I assumed he was talking about another supe friend of his so I just nodded. I didn't want to meet anyone but I knew it wasn't an option.

           A warm smile crawled across his face as he nodded back. He looked so happy. Maybe it was a girlfriend he was going to introduce me to. I felt so bad for her, I hope she runs and never looks back.

          He carried me to the shower to get cleaned up. He had picked out a dress for me to wear to my birthday party. It matched the dark blue of his suit a little too well. It was knee length just like the prototype of my suit that got the man killed. I couldn't help but laugh at how quickly he seemed to forget his hissy fit over such a short skirt of a dress. He would probably say it's different only because he picked this out himself. I could tell it was his doing by how ugly it was. 

         He allowed a hair and makeup team into his penthouse to get me around. I never knew makeup could take so long. What felt like hours passed as they poked and prodded at my scalp and face. 

          Homelander walked in the living room and paused for a second. I didn't know the expression that was on his face, I was like surprise or love maybe. He looked me up and down for a second before seemingly snapping out of it once someone spoke to him. 

          I tried not to dwell too much on his expression and focus on the idea of being allowed out of the penthouse. 

         The beauty team left, leaving Homelander and I alone. He brought out some crutches that were dark blue. He had color coordinated them with my outfit. It was so extra but I wasn't sure why I was surprised. Clearly this party meant alot to him if he was willing to let me out of the penthouse. 

          "Practice walking with these. I'll make sure there is a wheelchair there just in case." He said as he helped me from my seat and gave me the crutches. He watched me as I fumbled with the new way of transportation. It wasn't long before I got a feel for it. It felt so good to be able to walk on my own. 

          Before long, 6 O'clock rolled around and it was time to make our entrance. We went to the elevator where Homelander wanted to give me a last briefing. 

       "You are going to be a lady, no swearing, don't stuff your face like an animal. There will be a lot of people there. Most of them are completely innocent, good people. Don't make me kill them just because you can't control yourself." I wasn't really listening till the last part. I shook my head yes. My own reflection in the metal doors of the elevator didn't even look like me. I looked like a husk of myself. I had to remember not to have too good of a time. I needed to remember I was a captive here. This night might be fun but that won't change my situation, it won't change him.

      "What kind of cake did you get?"

      "Are you even paying attention? I will drag you out of there if you embarrass me, understand? You need to look like you like me. I'm your father, remember?" He picked at a lock of my hair trying to make it set in the perfect place. "There are 2 cakes. Ice cream and just a normal one. I didn't know what kind you liked." 

        I grinned a little. I hadn't had a birthday cake in so long. I hope he'd let me have as much as I wanted. 

        The elevator stopped and Homelander put his hand on my back. 

         "Smile wide, these vultures like to get you as soon as you step out." Sure enough once the doors opened there were flashes of cameras all over. I couldn't even see. I smiled as big as I could as Homelander led us out. 

        The paparazzi were all calling my fake name. How did they know it? Homelander must have been doing some press about me. 

         "Simone! Simone Smith! Over here!" They shouted. There were news cameras and reporterss all over as well. Who let them into the building?

         "Alright folks thank you so much for coming for my girl's special day. We're going to get inside now thank you." Homelander said with a big smile as people shoved mics in his face. Security opened the door leading to an event hall. We were rushed in and the doors were locked behind us. 

         All the walls were big windows looking out into the evening sky. On the streets below I could see the building was surrounded by people cheering with signs I couldn't read from this height. I was so distracted by the people on the streets I hardly noticed all the cheering going on inside the room. There had to be over a hundred people all yelling happy birthday. I only recognized a few. Maeve came up and gave me a big hug. She picked me up and spun around.

        There were a few cameras here taking pictures and even one news crew. They all flashed rapidly when she hugged me. I was too busy thinking how pretty she looked and how close I was being squeezed to her body to notice much else. I could feel my cheeks redden when she set me down carefully. 

         "Happy birthday sweetheart!" She sounded a little forced but I guess we had that in common. I don't even say thank you. I was too busy smiling wide like an idiot. I was still going on the rush of the hug. It wasn't till then I realized the theme of the party. It was Homelander's colors but less Americana and more like a darker Academia. The hall was decorated like fake stone statues and the waiting staff were in incredible fancy dark suits. Random books of theology and history were scattered all over. 

       Homelander marched us to a mic in the center of the room a singer was using. They handed the mic over to Homelander. 

         "Thank you guys so much! I know this means so much to me to have you all support my little girl but here she is to thank you herself." He handed me the mic and I stared up at him surprised. What am I supposed to say? I hardly know anyone. 

         "Thank you all. This is so much more than I deserve. I am honored to be in this room with you all. I don't know many of you personally but I hope to by the end of the night." The cameras have made their way right in front of me. Homelander cleared his throat next to me. "And of course I have to thank my incredible dad for organizing all this. He's the greatest man I know and I'm so grateful we were reunited." Homelander put his arm around me and pulled me close as he smiled and laughed. "Thank you all so much again and have a great night!" I quickly hand the mic back to the singer as the crowd cheers. Homelander looked satisfied enough. 

       One good thing was there was hardly any time for Homelander to speak to me. People were coming up to us over and over introducing themselves and fawning over Homelander. If I had a nickel for everytime some unknowing, well-meaning fool told me how much I looked like my dad, I would have enough money to buy all of Vaught tower. 

        The news reporter came over and started to ask us some questions. Most of which I wasn't briefed on. 

        "I think I speak for all of us Homelander fans when I say, it is so heartwarming and inspirational how you were reunited with your long lost child. You have been very vague about how that happened in the past. Could you elaborate on the story a bit for the more curious viewers at home?" The man asked as he held the mic up to Homelander. 

         "Sure I'd love to. We'll it was a few years ago I got a call from her mother, a woman I had a relationship with many years ago. She told me she was diagnosed with brain cancer and that she had been keeping a secret from me. Turns out that secret was our daughter here. We did a blood test and sure enough she was mine." He put his arm around me again and kissed the top of my head. "I was with her when she passed. She told me she didn't want to burden me with a child." He put on a good show of looking sad. "I loved her mother and with her last breath she asked me to take care of our baby girl." It was getting pissed hearing him tell this fake story making him out to be this good father who stepped up.

       "You have said in the past you were reunited when she was just 13? Simone, how did it feel when you found out the hero Homelander was your dad?" The news reporter asked me as they lowered his mic to me. I look surprised for a second. Homelander squeezes my shoulder ever so gently like he was telling me to behave. 

          "It was definitely a surprise. My mom was a deeply private and proud person. She told me my dad had passed away in an accident before I was born so when she told me the truth I didn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it." I say as I swallow a large lump in my throat. Homelander tightens his grip. "I didn't want to believe it because I thought I wasn't worthy enough to have such a true hero like Homelander be my father. Some Days I still can't believe it." I say with a chuckle. 

        "Aww angel face! That's my little girl. She's always been such a daddy's girl." Homelander said as he placed another kiss on the top of my head. The interview seemed touched by our performance. 

        "And Simone, is it true you have inherited more than just your father's good looks? You are a supe as well?" 

        "That is right. I didn't get his strength or speed but I got his X-ray vision." I didn't care to elaborate further for them.

         "That's my Simone. She's so modest. She can also control human bodies. She has grown so much since her mother's death. I have seen her save a man's life by making his heart beat after a heart attack. She has knocked out an intruder by cutting off his airflow. She is so much more powerful than she would lead you to believe." Homelander said as he patted my back a little too hard.

        "Well I know the folks at home would just love to see the first ever demonstration right here." The reporter did not realize what they were asking for. I tried to decline but Homelander was adamant.

          "That's a great idea. Here, show the nice news man, honey." He knew I didn't have the best control over it. Was he trying to get me to kill this poor guy? Was he trying to set me up for failure? 

          The reporter nodded and handed the mic to Homelander. I was sure I was about to kill an innocent person. I looked at his hand down at his side. I slowly made them extend their pointer finger by pulling at the muscles and tendons

          "That tickles." He comments as I bring the finger up to their face. It was going pretty well so far. Maybe I could do it. I could see a blue haze. My eyes must have started glowing. In one slow steady motion I make the reporter put their finger up his nose. Everyone watching laughed and the reporter pulled his finger back with a hardy laugh. "You rascal!" He exclaimed, wiping his finger on his pant leg. 

        "She's such a joker." Homelander said with a chuckle. 

        "So I'm sure you have heard about the compound V controversy. What was your reaction when you found out supes are not born but made?" It came out of left field. I looked up at Homelander. I had no idea what this guy was talking about at first. I could tell Homelander was trying to hide his anger. I knew supes were not born. My mom was very transparent about the process. Was that a secret?

          "She's not taking comments about that at this time thank you." Homelander said as he practically lifted me to get me away from the camera. I dropped one of my crutches and he clumsily bent down to pick it up. The reporter kept trying to ask follow up questions but was interrupted by security who saw him out. His cameraman was allowed to stay.

        "What was that about?" I whisper up to ticked off looking Homelander. 

         "Nothing don't you worry about it. Your mom didn't do anything. You were born naturally." 

        "No I wasn't, mom told me. Did you not know? Did you actually think you were born this way?" I chuckled a bit at the thought of Homelander being naive enough to think things like us could exist naturally in nature. "What did you think just randomly humans started being born with powers or something?" He grabbed my arm so hard I yelped.

          "Drop it. Diana didn't do that to you. She was a great mom. You weren't some petri dish baby or lab rat. He said through gritted teeth. I looked up at him confused. Of course she was a great mom. I knew she had her reasons for giving me compound V. I didn't blame her. What mother doesn't want to give their child a competitive edge. Why did Homelander care so much? You'd think experimentation on kids wouldn't be a problem for him. 

        "Yeah, that reporter has been a real Jack off all day. Hey Simone, it's great to finally meet you. I'm Storefront." A woman with black hair said as he walked up to us. I was thankful to her. As soon as she walked over Homelander stopped trying to snap my arm in half. He didn't really look happy to see her though.

       "Right Stormfront! You are translucent's replacement? It's an honor to meet you." I say as I shake her hand. 

        "You know you are just so beautiful. You must take after your mom." She says with a big grin. It was a poke at Homelander clearly. He grumbled a bit. 

        "Oh thank you, yeah I look just like her actually. I love your suit, it's really chic but also timeless all at the same time." I didn't actually care much for her suit but I was just enjoying the small amount of annoyance I could give Homelander without him knowing I knew it pissed him off. 

       "Oh Homelander you got a little charmer here." She says with a smile. 

        "Yep she's great now if you don't mind I don't really want to talk to you. So me and my daughter will be over here." He said as he tried to turn me away from her so he could walk us away. She snickered at him which made him enraged. He was about to say something to her when Noir walked up to us and handed me a gift wrapped in black shiny paper. 

         "Oh thanks Noir." I say as I take the present. Homelander took the opportunity to get away from Stormfront. 

       "That's a great idea Noir old buddy, let's do gifts. Homelander says as he lets go of my arm. Maeve brings a chair and I sit down next to the massive table all full of color coordinated gifts. 

         "Homelander wouldn't let anyone other than him and the 7 buy you anything. He was very insistent on the point." Ashley said as she nervously came over. I kept looking for Stillwell but I couldn't see her in the crowd anywhere. There were so many presents on the table I couldn't even begin to count them. I started with Noir's. I wasn't sure but he seemed very excited. It was a deck of fancy cards that had gold foil and everything. It was a surprisingly sweet gift. The card games we played must have stuck with him. 

        Maeve got me a cell phone. We both knew I wouldn't be able to keep it. She knew that. I think it was her way of saying she knew I was his captive 

        "So you can call all your friends. " She said with a heartfelt smile and a wink. We both looked over at Homelander who had a very neutral look on his face. He knew what she was trying to say as well but couldn't call her out on it right now. 

         Starlight got me a huge makeup kit. Homelander shot her a glare. I didn't know if it was because he didn't like the idea of me wearing makeup or because she gave it to me. 

         A-train got me a pink and blue Switch.

         "I know it's pretty cool right? It has two controllers so you and this guy can play Mario Kart or something together." He said as he patted Homelander's back. He didn't look too happy to be touched by him. I knew there was some context I was missing.

          Stormfront got me a dress. It was black and backless. She was definitely trying to get at Homelander with it. I knew it was going to be thrown away as soon as we were alone.

         Last was Homelander's. He was very excited and pulled out a big red box from the huge pile.

       "We won't bore the people with every gift I got you but let's open this one for them." He said as he sat the box on my lap. I had a knot in my stomach. Knowing him it was going to be something awful. I slowly unwrapped it and pulled out a suit. It looked like the one he was having made by the design team to be my superhero suit. It has pants and a long cape that draped over the shoulders and over the front a bit. Aside from that it was pretty much the same suit. 

          "What is that? Ashley asked, sounding a bit panicked. 

          "This is her new suit. She's been training for 5 long years. I think she deserves to start her career as New York's newest supe signed under Vaught, Stan Edgar agreed." He said with a smug smile. I sat there scared to say anything but I remember I should probably look happy about this even if I wasn't so I smiled a bit. 

       "I mean well um of course Homelander if Mr. Edgar agreed." Ashley backed down quickly. Ashley knew I haven't been training for 5 years. She probably knew on some level I wasn't here willing. 

         "Alright everyone pull out your phone's record this moment." Homelander said as he grabbed the suit and put his hand on my shoulder.  "Introducing my new sidekick, The Seer!" All the members of the 7 looked at him confused. Ashley let out a panicked scream that was muffled by the crowd's cheering. 

       "We are down a member in the 7 so just consider her half a member. 

        "What?" I ask softly. I was in complete disbelief. Could he even do that? Did this Stan Edgar guy really agree to this?  

         Poor Ashley pulled at her hair as Maeve squeezed past her to pat me on the back. The crowd both in the room and on the street was cheering so loud. 

         The night moved on. Homelander let me have as much cake as I possibly could eat. It was like a reward for not embarrassing him. He was talking to some people in suits when I spotted Starlight go into the girls bathroom. Maybe she and Hughie stayed in contact. Maybe I can get a message to them somehow.

          "Excuse me, I need to go to the girls room." I say quickly. Homelander grabs my arm and looks at me like he wants to say something. The men he was talking to gave him a strange look. 

           "Is your leg okay? Want me to ask Maeve to go in with you?" He asks in a sweet tone. 

            "No it's alright dad. I have my crutches." I was surprised I didn't vomit when I called him dad. He lets go of my arm reluctantly and returns to his convenience. I limp to the restroom. My leg was killing me. Being on it all night was a bad idea but I wanted to soak up this freedom.

         I go into the bathroom and look around. She was in one of the stalls. I go into the one next to her. It was a good cover. Homelander was a creep but he wouldn't spy on me in the bathroom. I knew this was the only time I could get her attention. I waved my foot under her stall. I saw her legs jump at first until she recognized my cast. She got up and flushed before peeking over the stall down at me. I wave quickly and a smile. She jumps down and crawls under to my stall. 

        "Hey-" She started to say but remembered he could be listening. She just hugged me. I was surprised but hugged her back. She must have known what was happening. Billy must have told Hughie and he told her.

         "I'm so sorry." She mouthed to me. I shook my head at her. 

          "It's okay." I mouth back. It wasn't okay but what else can I say. We heard someone come into the bathroom. Starlight looked down at me wide eyed. There was such tension in the air.

          "Hey Simone? Are you in there? Homelander wanted me to check on you." It was Maeve. Starlight looked relieved as she crawled back to her stall. 

        "Yeah, totally fine. I was just taking a rest. My leg was getting sore."

        "Do you need help?" She asked as Starlight came out from her stall. 

         "Um no I'm half naked. I got it." 

         "Okay if you need anything Starlight's in here. Just ask her, I'm going to go and make sure the party isn't getting too wild." She says as she walks out. I get out of the stall quickly and look at Starlight who was washing her hands. 

        "Don't forget that makeup kit. You need a little color in your cheeks." She said as she winked at me. I thought she was making a joke about how tired I looked but the very serious wink made me suspicious. 

         "I will try and convince Homelander let me keep it." I say as I start to wash my hands next to her. She started messing with her lipstick in the mirror. Trying to be as unassuming it's possible. 

          "You definitely need what's in there. That blush is a life saver." She says as she looks at me in the mirror before laughing.

           "Alright I get it, don't tease me." I say with a big smile. She didn't seem like the catty type. There had to be something with the makeup kit. 

         She leaves and I wait a bit before leaving myself. Homelander was watching the door. He came right over to me and put his arm around me. 

       "You and Starlight have a nice conversation?" He whispered. 

        "Yep, she was telling me I needed a bit of makeup. I actually get to keep the gifts right?" I ask as he walks me to a wheelchair.

        "Of course you do. They are your gifts. Just not the dress or phone. Now take a seat." He says as he tries to put me down in the chair. 

       "Awesome, the suit is really nice. Way better than the old design. I don't need this chair, I'm fine." He pushes me down in it and takes my crutches. He kneels down as he rests the broken ankle on the footrest. I wince when it's moved.

         "Look at this thing. It's inflamed, haven't you been checking it?" He asked as he pressed down on one of my toes. I jump and try to pull my leg from the rest. He grabs it and keeps it in place. "I let you walk around on it too much tonight. You have done fine so far. Don't fuck it up now. Sit here, eat more cake and shut up." He hands me a plate full of ice cream cake. 

        I couldn't argue with him. At least he didn't seem to pick up on Starlight's message. The cake was pretty good too. 

       Finally the guest started to leave and Homelander retrieved me from the corner I was sat in. He wheeled me over to some people to say goodbye as we exited the party. The gifts from the 7 were in a bag being carried by Homelander.

        Once again in the elevator with him he hummed to himself. He seemed pleased by my performance. 

        "Did it go well?" I ask looking up at him. He nodded, not looking at me. 

        "It was fine. You laid it on a little heavy at some points but that's alright. Moms will love how good our relationship looks. You did great with that idiot news reporter. I was kinda hoping you'd rip him open." 

         "I almost did. I'm not ready for the public."

        "You're ready when I say you're ready. You did great. With the right incentives to make you focus you do good work." He says as the elevator opens and he wheels me to his door. I wanted to scream. I didn't want to go back in there. 

         He locked the chair at the table and picked me up. He took me back to my room. I had to fight tears. If I cried he'd chastise me. I layed limp in his arms as he put me back to bed. He set the bag of things on the bed and pulled out the black dress and makeup kit. My heart raced as he looked at it. 

        "I guess you can keep this. It looks like kids' makeup anyway." He says as he hands it to me. He took the phone and put it in his pocket. "Nice try,  Maeve." He whispered. "I will have the other gifts carried up here tomorrow. Most are empty anyway but some of them have some stuff for your room. You're 18 you don't need all this kid stuff." 

       "Thank you Homelander." I say with a smile as I grip the makeup kit. He smiles and ruffles my hair. 

       He grabbed a wet wipe from the bathroom and roughly wiped the makeup from my face. I don't think he was trying to be forceful, the makeup was just very thick. Once he was sure all the paint was off my face he turned off the light. 

        "You did real good tonight. I'm proud of you. I'm heading to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." He said as he leaned down and kissed my cheek. 

         "Thanks Homelander, it was a fun night. Sleep good." I say softly. He grins and walks out leaving the door open just a crack. 

          Once I hear his door close I rip open the makeup kit. At first it looked normal, until I saw a bit of paper sticking out from under the blush palette. I pulled it out carefully. It was a note from Billy.

[beefromanoff]

Project Mockingbird Ch. 4

summary: lots of testing to find out what's going on with Charlotte...hopefully a breakthrough?

pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC

author's note: let me know what you think! thanks for reading, xox!

tag list: @bangtanxberm (let me know if you want to be added <3)

chapter list

_________________________________________________________

The first thing I felt was a pounding in my head. I wondered if I was back in Vegas, if I’d overdone it the night before, the bright lights searing through my eyelids. Groaning, I remembered I couldn’t get hungover. 

I shifted, trying to prop myself up on my elbows without opening my eyes to the horrific fluorescents above me. Like a knife in my gut, memories rushed back to me. 

Him. Rage. Darkness. Nothing. 

Shit. 

I knew this was a possibility, but I’d hoped against hope that it was just a fearful thought. It had been decades since I’d seen him, and those weren’t exactly stress-free circumstances. I’d thought that after so much time, after being away from HYDRA…but I was wrong. Everything they did to me was still very much present. The instincts they’d drilled into me took precedent even over my own thoughts and desires. 

The second thing I felt was a shocking amount of mobility around my arms. My eyes flew open. I was in a hospital bed, still in my workout clothes. My shoes had been tossed to the side of the room. The walls were light gray, sleek. Slightly less sterile-feeling than the average hospital, but still made my skin crawl. I was alone in the room, but I could hear the murmur of voices just outside the door. My heart was pounding in my ears and reflected by the erratic beeping of the monitor to my left. I looked down to see a few wires protruding from the collar of my shirt. 

With a whoosh, the door slid open to reveal a small crowd. I recognized Natasha and Steve, someone I recognized as Tony Stark standing a few feet behind them with another dark haired man. 

Nat stepped into the room, a smile on her face but her whole body tense. “How you feeling, hot stuff?” 

“Where are the restraints?” I set my jaw, staring at my hands. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I just proved I can’t be trusted, can’t control myself,” My voice was low. “I attacked one of you. I should be restrained.” 

Steve looked at the ground, eyes clouded. Tony looked up from the tablet he was holding, observing the room. It was the man next to him who spoke first. 

“I know a thing or two about not being able to control yourself, trust yourself.” He was a little skittish, but seemed genuine. “You’re in more captivity in your head than you are here. We aren’t in the business of keeping prisoners. You won’t be restrained as long as you’re fighting something that you didn’t ask to have done to you.” 

I lifted my eyes to look at him, giving him a slight nod of thanks. 

“Touchy-feely stuff aside - I’m Tony, by the way - I do think we should work out where this is coming from.” He stepped forward and plopped down on the edge of my bed, surprising me with his casual attitude. “I assume you don’t exactly have the warm fuzzies towards labs or doctors, but I promise that Dr. Banner and I aren’t here to do anything but help.” Tony gestured to the man I didn’t know, who nodded. 

I looked at Natasha for reassurance before responding. “What do you mean…help?” 

“Well, to be frank, there’s clearly something different about you.” Tony laid the tablet on his lap and looked straight at me. “We just don’t know the specifics. Without that, we can’t do much except throw you into a chokehold when you get a little murderous on us.”

“Tony,” Natasha warned. 

“What he’s saying is that we can…investigate. We can work with you to figure out what was done to cause that episode you had, and hopefully prevent it from happening in the future.” The man, Dr. Banner, explained. 

“Is that even possible?” 

This time, it was Steve who answered me. “It was with Bucky.” I snapped my eyes to him. “He had a similar…he struggled at first too. For him, it was trigger words. They were programmed into him, anytime he heard them he would lose himself until we could-”

“Until we could knock him out.” Natasha cut him off, speaking matter-of-factly. I appreciated the lack of sugar coating. 

“But…you were able to fix him? Stop the words from having an effect?” I tried to stop the hope snaking its way into my heart, anything to push back against the fear of my own lack of control. 

“Yes.” Steve smiled. “He hasn’t had an episode in years. Any anger he feels now is totally under his own volition.” 

I nodded slowly, thinking through my options. I couldn’t exactly say no, keep living here for free, and run the risk of attacking another one of their friends.

“When can we start?” I grit my teeth and looked at Tony and Dr. Banner, who glanced at each other. 

“We can, if you’re up for it, we can start today?” Dr. Banner shrugged. 

“As soon as possible. Please.” 

_____________

“Call me Bruce, seriously.” He smiled, handing me a cup of water that I graciously chugged. 

We’d been working for the past twelve hours, according to the last time I saw the clock. The day had come and gone, judging by the sun beam peaking around the window shade in my room that had slowly given way to night. It wasn’t like I had anywhere else to be, and I could tell that Tony and Dr. Ban-Bruce weren’t the type to put a project down when they hadn’t had a breakthrough yet. 

 First, we did the standard labs. Blood work, blood pressure, retinal scans. Then a few more in-depth tests, an MRI and a CAT scan to give them a better look at what was happening inside me. 

Right now, I was hooked up to a machine that mapped out my brain in a three-dimensional, floating model in front of us. I sat on the edge of the bed, legs dangling. Electrodes were stuck to my head, neck, and chest, wires going every which way. Natasha had lent me a hair tie to secure my hair in a loose bun on top of my head, making it easier to decorate me with the sensors. After a few hours, Natasha and Steve had left to go eat. It was slow work, admittedly. A few empty coffee cups were strewn across the side table in my room, one having toppled on the floor as a result of Bruce not-so-gently setting it down. 

“How about this one?” Tony clicked a button and brought up a hologram of James Barnes, three dimensional in front of me. He was in full armor and mask, holding a hefty gun and looking around for someone. His eyes were cold, distant. His hair was longer then than it was when I saw him out by the lake. Now, it was long enough to tuck behind his ears but not nearly down to his shoulders like this rendering showed.

“Nope. Nothing.” The model of my brain showed nothing beyond the standard yellow flecks of electricity as I spoke, watching the hologram stalk around the room. 

“Well, kid, I think there’s only one thing left for us to try.” He sighed, clicking the hologram off. “Clearly, the reaction you’re having isn’t strictly visual. It has to do with Barnes, but we can rule out the trigger being anything electronic. We’ve tried photos, videos, audio recordings, and now holograms, nothing. It’s not causing you to go all haywire.” 

“What’s the next step?” I asked cautiously. 

“The next step would be live-stimulus monitoring…we’d-”

Tony cut Bruce off. “We’d bring Barnes in here and see how you react.” 

“I don’t-” 

“Before you say no,” Bruce interrupted, holding his hand out. “We would take precautions. We can restrain you if you prefer, but we don’t have to. We can give you an IV with a fast-acting sedative at the ready. We’ll be prepared if you have an…adverse reaction.” 

I swallowed, my heart already speeding up. “If you say so.” I was shocked at how calm I’d been able to stay this whole time. The kindness of the team combined with my paralyzing fear of having another episode allowed me to shove my anxiety down, at least for the time being. My desire to be free of these mental shackles overpowered my deep-seated fear of being experimented on, prodded and poked. 

After we’d discussed what precautions I was comfortable with (and the answer was all of them, please) they left me alone in the room with a soft-spoken female lab tech. I’d stripped off my jacket so she could start my IV, forcing myself to think of anything else to avoid the wave of anxiety that came from needles and nurses and everything in between. When it was done and taped down to my arm, she smiled and slid the doors back open. Bruce explained to me what they were looking for in my brain waves and how it would help them figure out what the issue was, but he sounded a million miles away. I was already getting hot, nervous. No one expects being brainwashed and conditioned to kill to be so embarassing. The shame from my earlier episode still sat heavily in my gut, I wasn’t sure if I was ready for two more people to witness my lack of control. 

“Ms. Rossi? Are you ready?” The tech spoke gently, positioned by my wrist with heavy-duty restraints sitting open. I nodded and allowed her to set my arm inside and fasten the straps tightly. Once my left arm was all but immobile, strapped to my side, she scurried over to the right side. 

When my arms were pinned to the bed, flat at my sides, the tech was poised in the corner with her hand over the button to release the sedative into my veins, I took a shaky, deep breath. 

“I’m ready.” 

Bruce nodded and tapped his tablet. I heard footsteps coming from down the hall, a few sets. I matched the cadence in my head, determining one set to be Steve’s and one Tony’s. That left the third as the other half to our little experiment. Two sets of footsteps trailed off, hovering a few feet away, out of view. The third set, slow and methodical, approached the opening to my room. 

“Come on in, Sergeant Barnes.” Bruce called, eyes flicking from me to the doorway to the model of my brain. 

In two heavy steps, he turned the corner and came into view. James, Sergeant Barnes, whatever he went by - stood right in front of me. His lip was split, eye already beginning to yellow around the outside as a result of his accelerated healing. His dark hair was tucked behind his ears. Regarding me warily, he took another step in the room. 

I sucked in a breath, trying to resist the inevitable but knowing it was necessary for the research. A white hot pain seared through my head, making me cry out. When I opened my eyes, I saw James wincing. 

He must remember this. 

For a moment, that sobering thought helped keep the rage from overtaking me. I spoke through clenched teeth, keenly aware of the adrenaline coursing through me. 

“I’m…so…sorry,” I forced myself to meet his eyes, resisting the blackout so hard that I felt a blood vessel burst in my right eye. The last thing I saw before I succumbed to the darkness was a pair of sad blue eyes on mine. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

“I’m…so…sorry,” Charlotte ground out, eyes locked on Bucky. A few strands of her dark hair were stuck to her forehead, coated with sweat as she fought the brainwashing. When she couldn’t stand it any longer, her eyes hardened. The straining on her face relaxed as she somehow shifted to something inhuman, something predatory. 

A low growl rose in her throat as she attempted to lunge at Bucky, thrashing at the restraints. Her back arched and the force of her effort rocked the entire bed.

“Administer the sedative,” Bruce commanded. “Now!” 

The lab tech nodded, pressing her thumb down on the button, releasing the drip into Charlotte’s IV. In the forty seconds that had elapsed between when Bucky stepped into the room and when the sedative sent her into a slump against the bed, Charlotte had already yanked so hard on her restraints that she’d made her wrists raw. There was a brief moment of silence after she went limp, all of them taking a moment to collect themselves. 

“You okay?” Steve stepped around the corner, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Fine.” His jaw was clenched, less out of fear for the attempted attack but because he so vividly remembered the inability to trust his own mind, to act out of his own control. “That help?”

“I’d say so.” Tony looked incredulous as he raised a hand and turned the hologram in the air. What was formerly a mild, golden glow had shifted to a bright, intense red woven throughout the model. 

“This is…insane.” Bruce was slightly open-mouthed, observing as Tony moved the rendering. 

“What does this mean? Is this what you expected?” Steve frowned. 

“What it looks like, I mean, initially…there’s some kind of conditioning at play here. Whether it’s optical or olfactory…something about Bucky’s physical presence invokes this extreme, visceral reaction. It literally changes her brain chemistry, rewrites her neural passages. You can see that all the areas that fire when she’s functioning normally, when she’s thinking or feeling something physical, or experiencing an emotion…all those are dormant.”

Steve and Bucky exchanged a glance, both of their brows furrowed. Crossing his arms across his chest, Steve opened his mouth to speak before Tony cut him off. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m no neuroscience expert, unless you count the fifteen minutes of internet research I did roughly six hours ago,” He ran a hand along his jawline. “But it sounds like you’re saying they conditioned, programmed her to override all sense of self, consequence, and pain in order to stick to their…objective.” 

Bruce nodded grimly. “It’s similar to what different countries did to soldiers in wars throughout history…give them drugs that suppress their decision making skills, inhibit their ability to feel pain. It allowed them to fight longer and often, fight through otherwise debilitating injuries or fatigue. That, combined with the right propaganda or indoctrination, can make an individual follow orders almost blindly…and definitely to their own detriment. Whatever HYDRA did to her, they took that concept and put it on a 10x multiplier. Plus, it’s not dependent on her continually receiving some drug. They literally programmed this into her.” 

Bucky let out a deep breath, stepping out of the room and looking up at the ceiling. Watching his friend, Steve couldn’t decide what to ask first. Luckily, Natasha chose that moment to make her re-entrance. 

“So what do we do now?” she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. 

“Nice of you to join us, Romanoff. Conveniently after any and all risk has subsided.” Tony raised his eyebrows. 

“I figured surely two super soldiers, Iron Man and the Hulk had it covered. Plus, if that failed, you have Maddie.” She winked at the lab tech, still standing nervously in the corner. 

“To answer your question,” Bruce interrupted, making rapid notes on his laptop. “I think we can fix it, relatively painlessly. Well…easily. Basically, we need to narrow down if the trigger is happening due to something visual or olfactory, her sense of smell. My guess, based on the fact that there was no effect from video footage or even holograms, is that it’s olfactory.” 

“And if that’s the case?” Steve was still frowning, watching as Bucky slowly made his way back to the group. 

“We would need to sever the olfactory nerve.” Bruce grimaced. “That’s why I wouldn’t say it’s entirely…painless. But it should be quick and effective.” 

A groan from the bed interrupted them. All heads snapped to see Charlotte beginning to stir for the second time that day. Instinctively, Steve grabbed the sleeve of Bucky’s jacket and yanked him towards the door. They’d made it to the end of the hall before she’d even taken her second breath. 

“D’work?” She slurred, eyelids heavy but fighting to open. 

“It did.” Nat sat down on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on Charlotte’s leg. “You did great.” 

“How do you feel?” Bruce gestured to the lab tech to remove the restraints and they both set to work freeing her wrists. A band of raw skin circled her arms where she’d fought so violently. As soon as the restraints were set to the side, Maddie scurried out to get a bottle of ointment and q-tips to medicate the wounds. 

“Never better,” She raised a hand to rub her temples, stopping when she felt all the wires still attached. Bruce nodded at Natasha and they both began gently tugging the electrodes from her face and chest.

“I think we got what we need. It’s been a long day, why don’t we stop for today and pick up in the morning. You should get some rest.” He smiled gently.

“Good call, Banner.” Tony stood, turning to Charlotte. “If you want, just this once, I’ll let you raid my personal snack stash. That’s where all the really good stuff is kept.” 

She chuckled, leaning back. “Mmm, take a rain check. I feel like I got hit by a truck.”

“We used a pretty heavy dose on the sedative…even with your heightened metabolism, it’ll take a bit for it to completely leave your system.” Bruce’s eyes were apologetic. 

“Better safe than…” She waved her hand, a yawn cutting her off. 

“Alright boys, beat it.” Natasha stood. “Char, I’ll be back first thing in the morning with a breakfast spread like you wouldn’t believe. Sleep it off, it’s late anyways.” 

Charlotte smiled lazily as her lids began to droop again. “S’a plan.”

“Sweet dreams, kiddo.” Tony’s voice was the last thing she heard before drifting back off to sleep. 

[yearningaces]

You understand the idea of being nice to the house, because it will be nice back, this is good!

"Buddy, home, house of mine, I love you and I will polish every doorknob I can find in the morning if you help me out."

Did you feel a bit ridiculous? Absolutely. You've never spoken to an inanimate object, like a house with the genuine assumption it would listen, not like this at least, but this house was strange and wonderful at the same time. It often helped you somehow or another, so why not give it a shot?

"Please, I hear her singing every night and anytime I step out of the room it's gone and she's silent- I just want to meet who this lady is!"

You were standing in the master bedroom, staring at the ceiling as if something was there to look at. Your attention is drawn to the bedsheets slowly pulling themselves back, clearing a space for you in the bed.

With slight shock, you laid in bed and tucked yourself in. Taking the response as the house saying either 'go to sleep.' Or, 'go to sleep, for now.' You supposed you could only know when you wake.

-

You do wake, it's dark out, pitch black. But your blankets have removed themselves and it's freezing. With a shiver you get out of the bed to grab for your robe, only to see the door to your bedroom wide open, and to hear the soft song somewhere deeper in the house.

You hesitate for a moment. It's still nothing normal, but nothing here has harmed you so far, and the house seems to like you...

So, you go. Stepping into the hall silently and seeing a few candles lit along the candleholders fixed to the wall. Forming a trail for you to follow, you can only assume.

Following the candles, you can hear the soft singing growing louder, yet still quieter than a whisper. And you see her.

Standing at the stairs banister, peering over the edge, singing so so softly.

Her hair is tied up, nice and tidy, a long dark skirt and a light colored top with what looks like flowers embroidered into the fabric. And blood. A trail of blood surrounding multiple holes in the back of her shirt. Dark and stark against the otherwise clean and bright fabric.

And before you can blink she's looking at you.

"Oh-" your body lurches back automatically. There's a single trail of fresh blood from the corner of her mouth down her chin.

Yet she's smiling, calm, content. When she opens her mouth to speak, it sounds like she's talking from a room away. "So you've sought me, so you've found me."

You nod your head after a moment. "Yeah... I hope you don't mind?"

A shake of her head before she looks down with a more bittersweet smile. "It's been a time since the living have sought me."

You don't know what to make of her words...

"May I ask..." How do you ask this question?

However, she looks up with a knowing eye. "Your partner looks an awful lot like my husband did."

At that you shift uncertainly. "Sage?"

"Is that their name?" She seems contemplative. Her smile dropping slightly. Her very form flickers between something translucent and not there at all before she settles again with a closed eye smile. "Be cautious. Even those we believe love us are capable of much should our backs be turned." Her voice is so... Downcast. A bitter acceptance of something.

"You're speaking from experience?" *You question in a gentler tone, stepping closer.

She nods, turning to place her hands on the Banister. "I was like you, happy, in love. We moved here, my husband and I. Johnny was never a mean man, understand. But between his family and myself and his job we had very little time together. So I was often here alone."

Her head... Twitches. As if the physicality isn't all there before it looks calm again. "That's when I met the little boy." Her smile is so sweet, so fond.

"The boy?" You question, you've heard child's laughter before in different parts of the house, footsteps running around, always away from you, never to.

But she brightens at the mention of him. "Oh, yes, you know of him. He had lived here a long time ago. And I was always something of a motherly figure. I suppose we grew attached to one another. A young woman yearning for her own children, and a little boy in need of a mother." She looks so so happy at the words she's saying. But after a moment of joy her expression -and the candles- dim.

"Of course, Johnny never saw him. Thought I was imagining my own child since we couldn't seem to have any of our own... After an argument about that exact topic, a far louder one than normal, we were in the kitchen, I'd turned to leave and... My back was exposed."

She doesn't say anything more. Her eyes teary, the color morphing between a dark red and a pure clear tear.

You take a step forward, uncertain if you can reach out to a ghost but settle on being there. "He's gone now. Right? You're free of him, and that little boy is still here, too- and he cares for you it sounds like. You're not alone here... If you'd let me, I'd care about you too. I'd like to be your friend."

She looks up to you, a soft smile on her almost translucent face, but her form solidifies just slightly. "I would like that."

She takes a moment to collect herself, wiping away any tears, brushing imaginary dust off of her skirt before she looks back to you with a smile.

"Was there anything else you wanted to know?"

[poorks]

I was tasked by boyfriend with writing a little thing about RP Sylvain. Its not that horny but it is a little horny. Enjoy what my real writing looks like when I'm trying and not just writing horny little drabbles.

The innkeep always seemed to think it such a blessing when the legendary Hero would stay in one of their beds. The Hero of legends old and stale, battles so long ago it was difficult to trace kinfolk back. Battles won and lost. Battles written in shame to those with a taste for glory.

The ebb and flow of time splashed Sylvain awake by the face, drawing him back to Now from  a dream of Then. Dreams gave him the clearest visions, and as his eyelids peeled open to sunlight masked behind muslin curtains his drowsy mind did its best to commit the scene to memory. It was easier now, a habit his brain had adjusted to so dreams wouldn’t be lost anymore. A scene from the past of the innkeep’s wife and the birth of their first child, forever unnamed under the Goddess’ eyes as it hardly took a handful of breaths in this world. He knew the keeping couple had four children presently, so the tragedy did not hang over them and they remained blessed. No logic could stop the empathetic tear that greeted him in consciousness, though.

It was important to let himself feel these things. Five hundred years would not turn him to stone yet, so long as he stayed vigilant.

Sylvain pulled the blankets back to let the initial cold rush of morning wash over him and awake him fully. On his back, his belly protruded outward from beneath his nightgown like a monument to something important forgotten by time. Nimble swordsman’s fingers brushed along it, cradled it, rubbed their thumbs up and down with great affection for the unborn life inside. His not-so-secret secret; every so often he wondered what people would start to say when he showed more, when he was so round and slow it was impossible to ignore. And when he would remain at that state through lifetimes, cursed to wait generations to meet his one child. No seer could see themselves, and he was no exception. Things were more exciting this way. He’d rather not know how long it would take, how large he would get, if he would ever even give birth. It will matter when the time comes.

Dressing himself was so automatic that for a moment he was lost, staring blankly at the wall while his body moved.

A knight, a nun, a thief. He recognized none of them, but if he was seeing them, they must be related to him somehow. There was never a need to ask questions; time had a way of answering any before he knew to ask. So he watched them talk, eat, frolic and play among some sort of festival. For the Witchslayer Heroine, it seemed. A whole day of merriment passed by the time he finished buttoning his vest. The sun had hardly moved from its place in the sky. With lucidity restored, he gathered his belongings in a bag and headed downstairs with a small smile, an expression of grace as every step tiptoed on the edges of time’s shore, just enough to keep his feet wet.

He greeted the inkeep’s wife and asked how the eggs were coming before she could tell him what was for breakfast. She seemed stunned, and he winked with a charming grin when he claimed he could smell breakfast from the top of the stairs. It put the mortals at ease when he didn’t put on powerful airs. He liked them most when they were comfortable, calm. The last thing he wanted was to be an inspiration for fear.

The inkeep’s wife laughed at his grin and gave him a pat on the belly. “You might be enjoying my cooking a little too much,” she said. Sylvain’s grin grew genuine with a tinge of blush to accent. She had no idea the appetite he had been fighting the last hundred-and-fifty-or-so years, nor the two hundred year sickness before that, so intense he hardly left his home the whole span of time.

In a flash of a moment, when she touched his protruding belly he saw her, decades ago, heavy and full with child herself and balancing a toddler in her arms, supported by the funds from the family inn business she married into. Her husband was raised here, his father was raised here, and her sons would be raised here too. Devotion and love was etched into every panel of wooden supports and would keep it standing for the rest of time.

He then saw this inn in shambles. A burning mound, completely destroyed. No sign of when, if it was an hour from now, a day from now, five thousand days from now. It would do no good to mention. The vision did not show on his face.

Another inn patron walked by them and tripped on the edge of the rug. Sylvain turned around to catch the apple he had dropped without missing a single beat.

“I’d just like some hot cider before I go, actually,” he said. “I should be getting home before it snows more.” There will be a blizzard tonight if he stays on this side of the lake. The flakes were light right now, and sun dappled through the winter clouds. It would be hard to believe a hard snow would come tonight. “Did you get my coat dry from last night? I can wait if I’m rushing you.”

“Absolute nonsense. You know we would never keep you waiting.” The innkeep’s wife cupped his face in her hands like a grandmother, so used to his presence she forgot for a moment that she was coddling a demigod. Sylvain enjoyed the affectionate touch, and he rested his hand atop hers.

When she touched his face, he saw a minor illness that would sweep through the town, ravaging the bodies of those too weak to fight. She’d be in bed, surrounded by her children and her children’s children. By siblings and cousins and friends. Her husband wasn’t present. It would be difficult, but end with ultimate peace.

Her hand left his cheek to fetch his coat, a long fur lined with soft wool for winter travel, along with a thick canteen of cider that ought to stay warm for hours.

To pay for his visit, he told them her second’s son will father a daughter sometime next year, then went off on his way back home from the lakeside town of Malva, the farthest travel he was often willing to go away from home.

A sip of cider helped dull the ache in his belly as he walked to keep it from punishing him further. It wouldn’t be so upset with him if he sat down for a meal, but it would be so difficult to get himself back up and on the road if he stayed with such a gracious host who would surely keep him so fed he’d end up bound to his seat at the table or burst trying. Accepting a meal felt dangerous these years; the little creature inside him seemed to demand more and more of him every year. As a soldier one serving would do him more than enough, but its become easier and easier for him to pack away more for his extra guest.

Again, he imagined himself walking this route centuries from now, attempting to make the walk through the woods back home while heavy, waddling, and hungry to satisfy his growing child, large enough to be born any minute. He felt large even now, with his belly pressing up against his belt and pushing it downwards to make space, already crowding him. Gentle flutters like butterflies from within plagued his senses. He already had to get new pants made twenty years ago when they simply wouldn’t clasp over his growing body anymore. Every day he’s larger than he’s ever been in his life, and he will only get larger.

Ryuuji was so good about hiding his intentions when it came to personal excitement. He wondered how much his partner liked his own growing body. Was it just a means to an end? An unfortunate circumstance to endure? Or did he relish seeing his darling fatten and swell like this? Ryuuji would never answer proper if Sylvain asked him up front; the topic seemed to embarrass and fluster him. The warmth of the cider distracted Sylvain from the tingling warmth tucked away beneath his coat between his legs. He would ask Ryuuji about his thoughts anyway when he got home.

There was very little bustle in the town this early in the morning, this deep into winter. Very little sound beyond the gentle crunch of his boots into fresh powder on dirt pathways. Through the continued crunch, snow melted away into flourished springs and sweltering summers. Through a plentiful year, and a year of drought and a poor harvest. A summer of fewer fish than last year. Less wolves and more deer another spring, bothering buds and saplings and spurning a bountiful hunting season.

At the edge of town, Sylvain stopped to briefly behold an old home, overgrown and abandoned, overtaken and broken by saplings and ferns and bushes and grasses, housing rodents and anything else small enough to use it for shelter. He remembered once, in his own memories, this house belonging to an old man who would periodically be taken care of by his adult children who lived further into town. Sylvain would sit with him and listen to stories, of the man’s own life and others. Stories Sylvain knew, maybe even lived, but touched with a vibrance that made them feel like adventures.

He liked the Sylvain that lived in stories. The Goddess’ boon, the Hero that would slay the dark serpent-man that terrorized any living creature from the mountains to the sea. The handsome God-prince, the savior, the blessing. But also the tales of the coward, the monster-lover, the traitor. The worst hero history had ever seen, a disgrace to the Goddess and mortalkind, a slut that let himself be seduced. They all amused him, because they were never him. And he had heard them all.

When he pressed his hand to the building’s door, it was painted in a fresh coat of red, and the smell of a freshly baked meat pie wafted from a pristine open window. A homely and middle-aged woman with the face of a mother opened the door and voiced a greeting. Sylvain flinched back, recoiling his hand, then apologized and scuttled away into the snow. The woman didn’t look at him in the eyes. The house was warm like late summer. She called him Devon.

Into the forest, the aging young man trekked along paths between the trees he had walked for hundreds of years. Trees he had greeted once as saplings were now old growth and firmly rooted. Their branches spread to protect him from the snowfall and the winds like dear old friends ought, and he felt a kinship among them.

High in the canopies, some still bore the scorch marks from battles long ago, battles bathed in fire and destruction. It was in these lands that his final battle was fought, where he looked in the face of war and threw down his blades, unable to slay the dragon. Cold, burnless fire swept past him and melted the thicket away before his eyes.

A cloak was left behind from his enemy one day, retrieved and brought to him so that his special abilities of Sight may be able to give the armies information. Every day he would touch the cloak let himself be absorbed in a vision, and record it for intelligence.

He saw the present: A powerful young man leading a zealous army into destruction in the name of conquering. A cunning tactician with an inhuman command over flame and a beastly visage reflecting his corrupted origin. A ruthless leader with nothing else but his ambition, his goals, his duty. A man who would take meals by himself, speak to no one, confide in no one.

He saw the past: A boy brought up in bitterness, a boy desperate for the approval of the only parent he has. A boy trained harshly for domination. Not a boy, but a weapon for war.

He saw the future: Through the enemy’s eyes, gazing into the pink-violet hues of the hero.

Sylvain would touch the cloak, eventually grip the cloak, and eventually still hold it in his arms like it were a brother in arms. His heart ached for this poor monster-boy who was not so different from him, desperate to prove something to a parent who assigned them a destiny at birth. This boy was his kin, his friend, his new destiny. He couldn’t destroy this creature that had captured and enraptured him so completely. No godly force could make him do it.

It was on these grounds, face to face with the Dragon General, that he cast his weapons, his armor, his duty aside to declare his love, to end this war on behalf of Goddesses and live for themselves. When he lost everything and gained everything more. His hands drifted down to his belly again, full and growing with new life he couldn’t have possibly predicted. A life with a future to themselves that he had no way of seeing, something new with the blood of all three worlds mixed into a beautiful new thing he was proud to house in his round belly, even if it was for another five hundred years and weighed him so heavily he couldn’t walk these paths anymore.

The flames flickered away. There was no need to look back with sadness or nostalgia. The possibilities of the future were endless, the past was the only thing set and unchangeable, even with Sight.

After minutes, hours, days, years, Sylvain arrived back at the doorstep of his home.

[taehyunsdimple]

breaking up with beomgyu.

a/n : it's literally 3:30am and i couldn't get this idea out of my head and genuinely i thought beomgyu would be perfect for this plot. i can literally think of a 100 different ways this situation could go. so, honestly if some people like this, i might make one of a different member. oh, & p.s ..

this is my first fic.

things to know !

this fic is intended to be a little sad, i hope i hurt that emotional part of your heart. anyone is welcomed. the word 'lover' is used a lot.

warning : beomgyu crying.

You're happy.

That's what you told yourself everyday.

You're happy.

That's what you told yourself when you hung out with your friends.

You're happy.

That's what you told yourself when your parents would call you and ask how you were.

You're happy.

That's what you told yourself when you bought your favorite shirt.

You're happy.

That's what you said when you started dating him.

You were happy.

That's what you were saying to him in the car.

The rain hit the window of the car, making a rhythm sound that would slowly draw your attention away from what was happening. The silence was like alcohol, you both were drunk in it. His soft sobs ringing in your ear, too much for you to even bare to listen.

Are you wondering how you ended up in this situation?

It was that same day, just a little earlier. You sat on the edge of your bed, your eyes wondering the wall in front of you, looking side to side, up and down. You were observing the pictures pinned to your wall.

Pictures of you and Beomgyu.

A picture of the first date.

A picture of the first rollercoaster ride with him.

A picture of a picnic he surprised you with.

A picture of you in his favorite hoodie.

A picture of you in his swimming pool.

A picture of you with his mother.

A picture of you looking at him with love implanted in your eyes.

You began to wonder back to those times where the pictures were taken. Trying your best to remember the love, the joy, the happiness you felt when you were with him or anything that reminded you of him.

But, you just couldn't.

You couldn't pretend that you were happy. It would upset him to know that you were feeling this way and continuing on with your life as if you weren't yourself.

Yes, it would upset him.

To not hurt him, you have leave, right?

You could always talk with him, he's there for you, you know that, he knows that, but you want to leave.

No matter how many different solutions you'll try, you'll end up leaving anyway.

Because you're that scared, you're that hurt, you're that sad.

You weren't struggling or suffering with anything. Nothing horrible has happened in your life to make you depressed. Nothing. You simply just weren't happy. It was one of those days and today was worse.

Is it possible to be so sad you have to break up with your lover?

Just to make your lover not worry?

Just to make your lover not call, text, and show up at your doorstep with so many questions?

Who knows if it was possible. You were doing it, though.

Your hands reached behind you to grab your phone. Holding it up to your face with two hands on your right thumb presses the button on the side to turn it on. You were face to face with your wallpaper of him. You stared at it which felt for hours before you finally typed in your passcode. The date of when you both confessed.

Everything was about him.

You clicked on the messaging app. Your conversation with him popped up. You were texting him not too long ago. His contact name was 'my everything 🧸' Well, wasn't that true. You scroll through, reading your messages and his replies. You were so dry for the past few days but he managed to work through it and send you satisfying responses.

You loved that about him.

Eventually your fingers were typing against the keyboard in a rush, but you hesitant to press the send button. Of course, you were overthinking. It wasn't like you, but now you were. You sigh, staring at the message in the bar.

'Hey. We need to talk. Come over, please.'

Is what you were about to send. Was it too straightforward? Did it seem urgent? Was it nerve-wracking? You shook your head, too many thoughts occupying it. Unconsciously, you sent it and quickly turned off your phone, throwing it against the pillow behind you. The ding notified you that he had replied back. It was so quick. He was known for that.

Because you liked that.

You didn't need to see the message to know he was on his way. Even though you knew, you stayed on the edge of your bed. Not even bothering to get up and fix your hair, or put on some clothes that you haven't slept in for the past week. You had no energy to.

The rumble of the sky indicated that rain would soon pour. You looked out your window, curious to see if that was true. You blinked and blinked until a single water droplet had hit your window. It was followed by another and then another. A storm was occuring.

In the mist of that water, a light shined through. To be more exact, headlights. Beomgyu was here. You got up from your bed. Finally. And then made your way out of your bedroom, sliding on some slippers before you exited your home.

You motioned for him to stay in the car from the window before you left, you noticed his face seemed a bit worried but smiled to see your reflection inside of the glass.

You closed the front door behind you. Sliding your feet across the concrete driveway before you made it to his car. It was already unlocked, as you got into the passenger seat. You didn't worry if you smelled, especially now that your slippers and socks were wet. You didn't worry that you looked like an absolute mess. Hair frizzed, unbrushed, and clothes messy. You didn't care.

And Beomgyu didn't mind. You still looked at you with admiration, that smile on his face that he wore whenever you entered the room to indicate that his true love was here. You used to love it.

There was silence, but Beomgyu broke that immediately.

"So..You said we needed to talk, is it something important?" He asked, his hands on his steering wheel as he would look back and forth from you and the window. You could tell he was obviously nervous from the sudden rush being called over, you didn't blame him.

You took a moment to yourself to shape your words. You thought about his reaction after saying it. You thought about the expression he'll make. You thought about how upset he'll be. You hated to see it, to think it. But it had to happen. You didn't want to hurt Beomgyu. Why would you ever want to?

A deep breath was what you took afterwards.

Exhaling it from your mouth.

"Beomgyu." You said his name first. You hoped to get that satisfying feeling after saying it, but you didn't. You couldn't hear the rain anymore, all you heard was your heart beating out of your chest. If you were honest, Beomgyu probably can hear it too.

You were ready. Or so you thought. You stumbled over your words, trying to find the right thing to say to start off the conversation or possibly end it.

"Let's break up."

You said it. You did what you couldn't for so long.

The silence grew again, the beating of your heart has calmed, and the rain was now loud again.

You took a glance over, his hands were loose from the steering wheel, his reflection in the mirror, he was looking at you, eye wide, jaw almost to the floor. He definitely wasn't expecting this.

You listen as he stumbled over his words like you did. Habits catch on.

"You..I, what?" Was all he could say after all that rumbling. He was in disbelief, his hands falling from the steering wheel onto his lap, but he never looked away from you. You could tell he was beginning to go over all what he has done for you, even when you were friends.

"Hahaha, babe, nice joke. You can stop messing around now." He said next, his laughter was fake and you could hear a sense of hurt within it. He thought you were joking, there's no way or reason for you to break up.

You shook your head. You weren't joking and he took note of that and finally looked away from you to stare at the sweats you wore.

"Can you tell me why? I don't understand." Beomgyu said in a whisper, clearly trying to hold back his tears as his hand guiding over to yours to hold it. It was a familiar touch, a touch you'll truly miss. You retreated your hand slowly, setting it down in your lap.

"I'm not happy anymore, Beomgyu." You simply replied. You had to put it that way, because it was true.

"Did I do something to make you unhappy?"

"No."

"Then..why?"

You took a deep breath. Again, Beomgyu took note as he didn't push it either further. He leaned back towards his own side of the car, his elbow propped up on the door of the car while his finger toyed with his lower lip. Finding a way to distract himself so the tears wouldn't fall.

"I'm just not happy. It's not you. It's me. I haven't been my best lately. I don't want you to see me like this. For you to worry, to think you have to check in on me 24/7. You have your own life, I don't want you to center it around me when I'm like this."

Usually, people would like that. Comfort for their lovers, to hear that someone who wasn't their mother or sibling, that they were there for them.

It wasn't the same for you. You didn't want to be a burden on others. You didn't want someone to miss out on an important event just because you were at your lowest. That would be kind, but not now.

Beomgyu stayed silent, and you didn't look his way.

If you did, you would see the tears that streamed down his face, falling from his chin onto the door of the car that make a small sound when it did.

He so badly wanted to explain to you that he was there for you. That this breakup was useless that there was no need to go this far. He wanted to shout, yell, do whatever.

Though, he didn't.

He found himself nodding his head, wiping the tears from his face as some remained stained to his cheeks, then his placed his hands on the steering wheel like before.

Everyone needed someone to just understand.

Without questioning your decisions, making up excuses and reasons to why you felt the way you felt.

Just listen and understand.

That's all someone else wanted.

You didn't dare to look at him.

Silence.

Rain.

His sobs that he tried to stop, causing him to choke up.

You stared absentmindedly out of the window with no thoughts in your mind.

"That's all." You finally said after those long minutes of silence, you couldn't bare to hear him cry anymore.

"Alright." Beomgyu managed to say in between his crying. The sound of the engine starting up was your due to exit the car.

You every so slowly closed the door, finally taking the time to look at him directly in the face. You almost forgot what he looked like. He stared back at you, his eyes shining due to the tears that began to swell up again.

You felt the love in his eyes even though, he looked at you through the window. The window that he rolled down to look at you with a more clear view. You wished you could return that same feeling from your own eyes.

Eventually, he did drive away.

That car. That car that picked you up for every date. That car that you had your very first kiss in with the owner of that car. That car that cried in when you had lost your phone, he laughed at how you overreacted as he had only hid it under the seat. That car that you confessed your love in. That care where you both slept in the backseat due to how lazy you were to get out. That car held so much memory. Memory that you soon knew you might forget.

You started to stir up emotions.

Why now?

Because, when you were in that car. You still had him. He was there with you. The thought of him not leaving was in your head while in that car.

It ended all so fast.

A tear then shed from the left side of your eye.

a/n : yeah, it's 5:23am, now. It took me a while, but I'm satisfied! sure, i could probably change some things up, but i believe my writing skill isn't that good, but i tried my best. hope you all enjoyed my first fic!